Heroes

I have had many heroes. I know that some people find fault with that and I guess if they can go through life without them they are probably better off. As for me, there has always been at least one person placed on a pedestal.

I know that all of my heroes have been human. I try not to be disappointed when they inevitably fail to live up to the label. I try to forgive them and try not to turn my back on them because I know the expectations were mine alone.

The thing is, that when I look inside myself, I find myself lacking in so many ways. I was never big or handsome. I wasn’t particularly smart. I certainly was no athlete. I have always loved music and writing, but I was never really good at either.

So, I became the fan of the athlete, the musician, the writer, the clever person. Heaven help them if the person was all of those things, and there were a few. They all fell eventually and I was left wondering. I wanted to be like those people. Well, I wanted to be somewhat like them.

Didn’t you ever dream of being cool? Didn’t you ever wish you were more poised and confident in yourself like someone you know? Didn’t you want to be good looking and have the clothes you wear fit you just right?

Did anyone ever make you feel like you weren’t good enough? Have you ever felt that if you were magically “lifted out” of the group of people that you know that no one would miss you? Have you ever felt like you clashed with the décor? Did you ever feel like you were someone’s second choice?

I still have heroes. I don’t have as many as I used to and they aren’t as big as they used to be. I try not to let them become too much bigger than life. Maybe, someday, I’ll be able to do without them.