Don't Let Their Names Fool You

‘How on earth can you two be concerned about filling your guts at a time

like this?’, I ask. Benjamin and Sheridan are in the kitchen making sandwiches

while I pace anxiously between the kitchen and dining room.

They have been and always will be considered Ben & Sherry to me.

Neither one of them could pull off their given names which suggest something of

class, culture and even elevated social standing. Qualities these two could hardly

spell let alone possess. What on earth were there parents thinking? Assuming they

even have parents, that is. I’ve certainly never laid eyes on either of their parents.

They could have the same parents for all that I know. More than likely though Ben &

Sherry are some early attempt at cloning gone horribly wrong.

‘Take it easy man. I told you a hundred times we got this all figured out.’

‘That’s what worries me Ben.’

‘What do you think Sherry, you two got it all figured out?’

‘Whatever Ben says.’

‘Great! Another glowing recommendation!’

Ben’s the talkative one. Most of the time I wonder if Sherry can even

talk? When he does it’s as if you’re witnessing Ben doing a bad ventriloquist act. I

always expect to see Ben pulling his hand from the back of Sherry’s shirt when

Sherry has finished talking.

How I find myself in a situation like this with these two is surely one of

life’s mysteries. I know I could walk away right now and Ben & Sherry wouldn’t

blink. My absence wouldn’t require them to greatly alter their plan. However, I am

compelled to see it through.

Now I know what you are thinking - the only reason I’m sticking around

is for the money. That would be the obvious reason - ok, so it’s the only reason but

we are talking bagloads of money here. My one chance to get out of this life.

‘There’s only going to be two guys doing the drop, they won’t even know

we are there’, Ben mutters, attempting to reassure me.

‘And how do you know they aren’t going to have some other goons

watching the place?’

‘My contacts are sure it’s a simple two man drop so as not to draw

attention to it.’

‘Your contacts. That’s rich! And are there any of them that aren’t

professional liars?’

‘Look, if you’re scared then just back out Nick. Sheridan and I can

handle it.’ They always refer to each other by their proper names. Ben does it just

to annoy me. Sherry does it because he can’t think of a good nickname for

Benjamin.

‘Damn right I’m scared! Only a fool wouldn’t be scared to take money

from Tony C.’

‘I’m telling you it’ll be easy.’

But Ben’s attempt to put my mind at ease has the opposite effect. Tony

C. hasn’t given up a single penny easily during his entire life.

‘Hurry up with that sandwich Sheridan, we need to get rollin’. You ready

Nick?’

‘Yea. Someone has to keep you two from getting yourselves killed.’

✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢

‘I thought we agreed - no talking? And of all people, you open your

mouth Sherry! The fact that we’ve survived this long as criminals is amazing! We’re

idiots! And not a one of us had the guts to knock off the two guys at the drop.’

I’m nearly hysterical at this point, my shouts aimed in no specific

direction. I need to let out my simmering anxiety and Ben & Sherry take the abuse

with indifference.

‘Settle down. We got the money didn’t we? So what is the problem?’

Ben as always jumps to Sherry’s defense.

‘The problem, Einstein, is that now Tony C’s men have a voice to go with

the physical description of Sherry! How many six foot three, two hundred seventy

pound guys with a voice like a chipmunk do you figure are running around this city?’

‘So what? By tomorrow morning we are on a plane headed somewhere

far away from here.’

‘Where is it we are going?’ Sherry chimes in like everything is wonderful.

I swear I’m going to kill him.

‘Both of you listen to me for a minute. None of us have exactly a clean

past. We are known well enough by the people in our line of work. So it won’t take

Tony long to figure out who we are when he starts pinching some people.’

‘We just get out of the apartment now lay low for the rest of the night

and go to the airport first thing in the morning,’ it’s Ben again. I’m starting to think

that Sherry is the smart one.

‘Don’t you think the airport is the first place that Tony is going to look for

us? The place will be crawling with his boys as soon as it opens. Probably is

already.’

‘I’m sorry’, Sherry offers. He looks like he is about to cry! I can’t take it!

A few more minutes of this and I’m swan diving out the window. Five floors ought to

be enough to do the job.

‘It’s alright Sherry. Just let me think for a minute.’

All thoughts of surviving this massive screw up are suddenly a distant

memory. Tony C. will track us to Timbuktu and back regardless of the time and

cost involved. He will have to make the point that no one takes something of his and

gets away with it. Getting his money back is merely a secondary issue. We are

done for. How to explain this in a cheerful manner to Ben & Sherry is now my

biggest concern.

‘I know! We knock off Tony C. - problem solved’, Ben exclaims as if he’s

had a revelation. No doubt about it now - Ben wears the dunce’s cap.

‘And how many men do you suppose work for Tony?’, I ask, expecting

nothing sensible in response.

‘A Hundred?’

‘At least. And how do you propose that we kill them all - just the three of

us? The same three that don’t have the nerve to pop two of his men.’

‘Maybe if Tony is gone they’ll forget about us while they are having their

own internal struggle for power?’, Ben replies, redeeming himself for the moment.

‘And with most of his men out looking for us it will be easier to get to

him’, Sherry weighs in with the longest sentence of his life.

‘Right. And they certainly won’t be looking for us right under their noses’,

I say, with some sense of excitement about this proposed course of action.

Pondering the last threads of this conversation I wonder if this is how all doomed

plans are formulated? The excited and goofy grins on Ben & Sherry’s faces

convince me that it is.

✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢

‘How much longer we gotta sit here, Nick?’

‘Christ Sherry don’t start whining already we’ve only been here a couple

hours!’

‘He can’t help it Nick, he’s claustrophobic’, it’s Ben to the rescue.

‘First of all, I can’t even believe that you can pronounce such a big word

Ben and secondly I doubt very much that Sherry knows what it means?’

‘Means I don’t like small places.’

‘The size of you, everywhere is a small place.’

‘We shoulda rented a bigger car’, Ben suggests. He is also the one that

suggested that we steal one of the old heaps in the local area. In return I suggested

that we really didn’t need the cops looking for us as well. Old heap or not someone

gets their car ripped off they are going to report it. We decided against using my car

and even though I figured Tony C. had the connections required to track us down

through the car rental agencies it would take him a while since I used a fictitious

name and address. We only need a few hours of breathing room since the plan is to

end this tonight.

‘Look Tony goes to his club every night to check on business, right? So,

we just gotta sit here till he returns and take out his car while it’s waiting for the

gate to open. It’s already 2 am so it shouldn’t be that much longer.’

‘Maybe I could just take a little walk to stretch my legs?’

‘Yea, and while you’re at it why don’t you paint a big bull’s-eye on the

hood so that everyone knows we are here.’

‘My legs are falling asleep. I ain’t gonna be able to move by the time

Tony shows.’

‘What’s it going to hurt to let him out for a couple minutes? There’s no

one around’, Ben says.

At this point I’m ready to tell both of them to take a little walk. Then drive

away as soon as they are out the door. I’ll even toss them the cash - I’m not a

complete jerk - I just want out of this situation. No more arguing over types of cars

or sleeping limbs, only some good old rock and roll and the open road. Anywhere

but here and now.

‘Go on Sherry, before I put a bullet in my own head! But I guarantee you

that you aren’t out the door ten seconds and Tony pulls up.’

‘Is it ok if I tag along with him Nick? I gotta take a leak.’

‘Oh God!’, I groan, throwing my eyes to the heavens for guidance. But

my exasperation is wasted on the two of them as they step jubilantly from the car.

By now it should be as clear to you as it is to me that we don’t stand a chance of

pulling this off.

✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢

‘Well I think we can safely add that to our ever growing list of stupid

decisions.’

‘Do you think we got him?’, Sherry asks.

‘You did notice that none of the windows in the limo actually broke open

and that the shells were only making large dents in the doors, didn’t you Sherry?’

‘I guess. So what?’ If my hands were big enough to fit around his

massive neck I’d already be in the act of strangling him.

‘It was an armored limo, Sheridan. With bulletproof glass.’ There is hope

for Ben yet.

‘So we didn’t get him?’, Sherry asks just to demonstrate that the

thickness of his skull matches that of his neck.

‘Of course we didn’t get him! The only smart thing we did was shoot a

couple tires out so he couldn’t follow us. He’s a mob kingpin. He’s got smarter guys

than us trying to kill him every week. Guys that are intelligent enough to know that

you aren’t going to kill him in his car without a rocket launcher.’

‘Where to now Nick?’, Ben wants to know.

‘Just keep heading out of the city until I can think of some place to go

and what to do. If either of you have any bright ideas now would be the time.’ I

cringe as the words leave my mouth. After all it’s the suggestions of Ben & Sherry

that have me at the bottom of the hole in which I currently find myself. No, I don’t

know why I listen to them? You’d think after the last five years that I’d have learned

not to - maybe they are the smart ones after all?

‘We should keep running and don’t look back’, Ben suggests.

‘You want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder? I

don’t.’

‘I don’t wanna stick around here.’ I agree with Ben on that one but don’t

think we’ll last long either way.

‘How about you Sherry, run or stand and fight?’

‘I’m with Benjamin.’ That’s one positive thing about Sherry, at least you

don’t get caught up in any long philosophical arguments with him.

‘Head north then Ben. I always wanted to see Niagara Falls.’

✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢

‘Where is Ben? I thought you two were attached at the hip?’

‘Don’t know. Last I saw him he was playing that wheel thing?’, Sherry

answers while closing the door in a manner much too delicately for a man his size.

‘You mean roulette?’

‘Yea, if that’s the spinning wheel game?’

‘Just what we need, him throwing the money around like he’s some big

shot. Well we won’t be staying here for long. Not that there is much to do in this

place anyway.’ Now I’ll be the first to admit that I always marvel at the falls when I

see them on TV and sure they are impressive but other than the magnificent falls

this is one bleak place. A highly overrated industrial ghost town.

Taking another pull from my beer I recall the last words I said to Ben

before he headed down to the casino. ‘Be sensible and don’t attract any attention to

yourself, just blend in with the crowd.’ I knew I shouldn’t have used big words

like “sensible” and “attention”. Damn my high school education - with these two it’s

a burden.

The door to our room flies open violently, crashing into the wall beside it.

Instinctively I leap over the back of the sofa and take cover. ‘You won’t believe it

Nicky!’, Ben shouts. ‘Nicky where are you?’ He calls me Nicky whenever he is

excited.

‘He jumped behind the sofa’, Sherry says, oblivious to Ben’s entrance.

‘What did he do that for?’

‘Because you scared the hell out of me you fool! You can’t be barging

through a door like that and not expect to scare someone.’

‘Nicky, I met this guy that says he can help us!’

‘Help us with what?’

‘Help us get rid of Tony.’

‘Let me get this straight - you are going around telling complete

strangers about what is going on between us and Tony?’ Just when you thought

they couldn’t get any dumber they manage to surprise you don’t they?

‘Yea but he’s cool Nick’, his excitement is waning.

‘And who do you think runs these casinos Ben?’

‘The OC’, is Ben’s reply. OC is our term for organized crime.

‘And might there be the remotest possibility that the guys in Niagara

Falls talk with the guys in the city? Or worse, this place is run by Tony?’

‘Hadn’t thought of that.’

‘That’s the problem, you two never think’, I feel bad the moment the

words leave my big mouth. Normally I prefer to have them think their way through a

situation, all be it with plenty of prodding, rather than belittle them.

‘But he’s a hitman Nick. Said he’d do the job for 20 grand.’ I’ve knocked

all the wind out of him now and he’s begun sulking in earnest.

‘Only one he is gonna be doing a job for is Tony. Get your crap, we gotta

get out of here.’

‘Why? What’s going on?’ it’s Sherry god love him. I’m pretty sure his

mind shuts down during any conversation lasting longer than three sentences. How

he can sit in front of the television for hours and follow what is going on, is beyond

me.
‘We need to go Sherry. We aren’t going to be safe here much longer, so

go and pack your stuff.’

✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢

‘Well it’s been nice knowing you two.’ No, it didn’t take long at all for

Tony’s boys to get their hands on us after Ben started running his mouth off. They

were in the lobby by the time we got down there and gracious enough to escort us

to their car. It wasn’t surprising that Tony had local help.

We are alone for the first time since they grabbed us about four hours

ago and more than a little worse for the wear. I’m hoping the pace picks up a bit so

that I can get on with my afterlife. I have big plans.

‘Don’t talk like that. We’re not dead yet’, Ben says. Good old Ben.

That’s one of the things I am going to miss about him - the misplaced optimism.

‘Do you think we’ll be ok, Nick?’, Sherry asks. He looks baffled by the

situation he’s been thrust into.

‘Sorry Sherry but I think we screwed up more than we can fix up this

time.’

‘Why don’t he just take the money back? It’s almost all there.’

‘He needs to make an example of us. Otherwise he looks weak.’

‘If I could just get my hands loose I could untie you two’, Ben says.

‘Even if you could what are you going to do after that? The only way out

is through them. You’re dead before you get all the way out the door.’

‘I’d rather go down trying than just sitting here waiting for it.’

‘Go for it then. I can’t stop you.’ Like I said before, I just want this over

quick and Ben’s way should do the trick.

‘Be sure to undo Sherry first. He’ll cause them a lot more problems than

I will.’

The faces of exertion made during Ben’s struggle to free himself are

hilarious. If I weren’t so dejected I think I would be in tears by now. But just like the

rest of this venture it’s all in vain. Shortly after Ben begins struggling the door

swings open and is filled by Mr. Tony C. himself. An unexpected pleasure. I figured

he’d have better things to do.

✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢ ✢

‘It was all my idea Tony, these two were just the muscle.’

‘He’s lying Tony, it was my idea. He never wanted to do it’, if only Ben

had ever learned when to keep his mouth shut.

‘I mean look at the two of them, they couldn’t think their way out of the

men’s room if there wasn’t an exit sign on the door.’

‘I don’t know kid, I want this thing cleaned up neatly.’

‘Besides I was going to ditch them and take all the cash myself as soon

as I got the chance.’ The looks on Ben & Sherry’s faces tell me I have hurt them

more than Tony ever could. But it works, Ben opens his mouth but nothing comes

out. He lowers his head in defeat.

‘See even they know I would have done it. Let them go and give me your

word that their debt is paid and no harm will come to them. I know you’re a man of

his word.’ Tony studies me in silence and the ringing in my ears from the earlier

blows to the head seems to fill the vacant warehouse.

‘Sorry kid but I’m not running a charity here. If I was in the charity

business then I wouldn’t have bothered finding you. But just to show you the kind of

guy I am I’ll take care of you first so you don’t have to watch the other two.’

‘NO!’, Sherry’s high pitched shout still surprises me even after five years.

But this final attempt at reasoning is met with a sharp crack to the side of his head,

which even he can’t ignore.

I’m watching Sherry recover when Tony falls face first into my lap.

‘What the...’, but before I can finish the thought, the heavies behind Ben

& Sherry drop as unexpectedly as Tony. As I struggle to remove Tony’s bulk the

last of the goons, the one watching the door, deposits something resembling a red

Rorschach blotch on the door behind his head. I close my eyes expecting to join

Tony and his boys any second.

‘Those three are gonna cost you another ten grand my friend’, an unseen

voice echos through the vast warehouse. ‘Lucky for you they aren’t worth much.’ A

chilling laugh fills the place. Frightening enough to make me consider the pros and

cons of wetting myself.

‘What the hell is going on?’, I ask.

‘It’s the guy I was telling you about back at the hotel’, Ben answers

while resuming his struggle to free his hands.

‘You never said that you hired him!’

‘You never asked.’