The Chronicles of Emo Boy

Chapter 1

"Everyone hates me!" I announced to no one in particular.

Emo: shortened form for the word emotional. I had gotten the name "Emo Boy" from someone I know. I don't think I'm emotional though, its just that no one likes me.

If I had to name one thing that I hated, it would have to be bisexual people. They stop reproduction and ruin the world. I know I’m emo and all, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go and have a male genitalia shoved up my...yea you get it. I can't stay on this topic for any longer, or I swear I'll throw up.

My accomplice and I help get rid of the havoc bi-people bring. I don't think I even know his real name, but everyone calls him "Hip Top".

So back to my story, I was at lunch, 7th period. I sat with a couple of people. Like I said, nobody likes me. So there I was, basically talking to myself.

By day, I was just your average geek. Glasses, messed up hair, neatly pressed shirts, and overactive sinuses. Being 6'2'' helped. But at night, I was completely different.

"Emo Boy" was perfected with neatly combed down hair that was just long enough to cover my eyes. And in case you could actually see them, I applied enough eyeliner until I looked like a catty raccoon. Girl jeans completed the I'm-really-too-cool-to-be-a-loser-please-love-me appearance.

One night Hip Top and I got a call. My Chemical Romance was coming to town, and you know what that means. Yes, Gerard Way, a leader of the not-so-straights. We had to make him leave. Before it was too late.

Chapter 2

A meeting was called in our secret hideout.

We meet in my basement. The walls are painted black and there's the occasional poster. Taking Back Sunday leered down on us.

We sat at the computer, printing stickers up that said "Straight, Not Curvy" on them. We'd hand them out at the concert. Only four days.

I think we got it!

All of a sudden our alarm went off. Hip Top and I ran off to 7th Avenue. Cuddling boys spotted!

We arrived there five minutes later. Two jocks, maybe 16 or 17 years old, were kissing under a tree.

"Halt, I'm Emo Boy, and gay lovers are illegal in this town!"

"What are you going to do about us?!" One football player challenged.

I ran away cowering in embarrassment and fear. I climb into the van and huddle in my emo-ball, crying.

I'm a failure, Hip Top was the stronger one. He took the boys, threw them in the back of our van, and we drove them downtown.

Chapter 3

After a good night's sleep, it was just another day at Martin Luther High School.

Something amazing happened though. Regina Tom, the angel of Martin, came up to me in 4th period.

"Hey um, do you know what time this period ends?" She asked, eyes staring at me.

"Uhh.....it ends.....um....uh....I think..." trying to give an answer to the blonde wonder's question.

"Oh, thanks, I'll go ask someone else." With a brain. She started to walk away.

"10:29, math ends at 10:29!" I blurted out.

She turned around and smiled, "Thanks, what's your name again?"

"My names Em...Damian." I had not spoken that name in so long.

"I'm Regi.."

"Regina, I know," interrupting her.

"Well I'll see you again tomorrow Damian."

Chapter 4

I never really had a serious relationship. In 7th grade I had an internet "girlfriend". And I dated another girl for two days until she dumped me. All this saving mankind leaves no room for romance.

That and no one wants to date a geek/emo. Trust me, no matter how many "I Love Nerd" clothes they wear, they still don't want you. No one wants you.

So at lunch I talked to Hip about it.

"Guess what, Regina Tom came up to me in math!" I was so proud, it had never been heard of in our kind.

"Gosh, you are so flipping lucky," like me, he couldn't breathe through his nose right, so it came out like a little girl whining to her mom.

"Yea, but I'm sure she hates me." I'm sure everyone hates me.

"Well we should get back to...you know..." he nudged me.

"Yea the concert's in only three days! Oh shiznit I completely forgot about it!" My mind was too fogged up by the human goddess.

He knew what I was thinking, "Well let's just meet up at, I don't know, I have a date tonight, so I'll be there late."

Hip Top was the cool one. Although the sinuses and the fact that he's as tall as me, he gets all the chicks. Maybe it's cause he has wicked guitar playing skills. I can't play the guitar...or drums...or bass...or keyboard...or sing...Gosh I suck! I can't even play the tambourine! All I can do is curl up and cry...

So after school I went home and did sit ups until I thought I was gonna throw up. It was either that or the Elton John music playing in the background. Gays make me sick. I finished my homework and went online. I only have like five people on my buddylist. Everyone hates me.

Well my "ex-girlfriend" was on. She really doesn't talk to me much. But that day she kept talking about a concert. Yes, that concert.

Chapter 5

It was 11 when he finally came over.

"How was it?" I asked curiously. I wanted to know why he came so late.

"Forget it, let's just go to work."

Nobody'll tell me anything! Everyone hates me!

Then my cell rang. I don't even know why I have one, no one ever calls me. But I didn't know who it was, so half expecting it to be a prank call, I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's, umm..., it's Regina." At that instant my heart stopped beating.

Chapter 6

So there I was, on the phone with the most popular girl in school, at 11 (past my bedtime!)

"Sorry I'm calling so late. I forgot what the math homework was and she's gonna kill me if I don't hand it in again."

"Oh," Ok, I was really disappointed. People just use me. Nobody likes me.

"Ok, so that's not the reason I'm calling. You see, there's gonna be a concert Friday, My Chemical Romance'll be playing, and I wanted to know if you want to come with me..."

The walking angel asked me to the concert I was trying to prevent. So what was I supposed to say?

"Sure," my plans were ruined.

"Great, I'll see you tomorrow!" a dead phone line rang in my ear as I stood there in disbelief. Disbelief that she asked me, it was probably a prank, she doesn't like me, nobody does, and disbelief that I accepted.

"Who was that?" Hip Top asked, I completely forgot he was still there.

"Oh it was Regina. She asked me to a concert," I said trying to act cool about it. He stood there, gaping at me.

"So what did you tell her?"

"Hellzya!" I'm so gangsta.

"But what about our plans?" He seemed really disappointed. That made me sad.

"I guess you'll just have to do it by yourself."

"I bet this is just a big joke on you. She's playing you."

"You're just jealous!"

Then he stormed out. Maybe he was right. She probably hates me. And now he does. I'm so alone. I'll be alone forever. Nobody likes me.

Chapter 7

At school the next day, Hip Top avoided me. In other news, Regina ditched all her friends for me. I felt bad for them though.

Lunch. Lunch has always been an interesting "subject". Today was among one of the best lunches. Regina Tom, school goddess, the sat with me. Not one of the hot, well-proportioned jock, me.

The rest of the day went really fast. Since Regina had a car, a Mercedes Benz might I add, she drove me home. As we veered out of the school parking lot, all of her friends scowled t me in disgust, standing there.

"Um, my house is the other way," I told her. We were going close to 70 mph.

"Oops, sorry." She did a U-turn so fast, I stuck to the car door.

We were quiet for a while it was probably a couple minutes although it seemed like an hour. She put in a CD. Helena started playing. I felt my stomach churn.

"So the concert's tomorrow night." She said, trying to strike up a conversation.

I don't know how I'm going to stand it. I'll probably pass out.

Wanting to give her an answer, I reply," Yea. Are you going to give me a ride there or should I pick you up?"

"Oh don't worry about that, I'll pick you up at....the concert starts at 7...so at 6."

Trying to breath deeply unnoticeably, I just nodded my head. Why did To The End have to be such a catchy song? Darn that Gerard Way!

"Are you okay? You look kind of pale." Oh crap, she noticed! I'll just pretend everything's fine....

"I'm great." Forcing a smile.

"Oh.."

The next couple of minutes I grew progressively worse. We were still 10 minutes from my house.

"Pull over!" I yelled right before I stumbled out of the door onto grass, Technicolor yawning.

Chapter 8

Thursday night, that meant CSI night!

I still felt guilty about Hip Top. I felt so lonely.

So I called him.

"Hello?"

"Hey Hip Top it's...."

He hang up on me. But who needs him when I have Regina. If I still have her.

Not even dead bodies could keep me away from my own thoughts, so I decided to take a walk to relax.

I was afraid to see Regina the next day at school. But there was no avoiding her fourth period.

"Damian! I can't wait ‘til the concert tonight!"

"Yea..."

"So do you want a ride home again? I promise I'll drive slower for you this time." She said laughing. She's laughing at me. But she thinks I got sick because of the car. Clueless...but that doesn't change the fact that she doesn't like me...nobody likes me...

"You're not mad, or grossed out at me?"

"Nah, it happens all the time." Yea right, but then again she did drive really chaotically.

We have assigned seats across the room from each other in math, so I didn't get to talk to her until seventh period lunch.

"You'd look a lot better without glasses." She reached forward, pulling them off my face and placing them on my binders.

We were eating outside, so at once I saw blurs of green.

"Yea but I can't see."

"So you should get contacts." She said while pushing my different sections of my hair about.

"There, you look a million times better." She complimented while undoing the top button of my shirt and popping my collar, the final touches.

She dug through her purse and handed me a small, round mirror. From what I could see, I looked like a skinnier, uglier version of an abercrombie model, or at least a wannabe. But I have to admit those girl abercrombie model would be jealous of the body I’ve gotten thanks to my vegan diet. I was still ugly.

A bell rang. We started walking off the bleachers we were on. Did you know it's really hard to do that when you can't see?

So yea, I tripped and fell. I fell all the way to the ground. I guess I went unconscious after that because that was all I remembered when I woke up in the Health Office.

Chapter 9

I opened my eyes, millimeter by millimeter, ray of light after ray of light, until I found myself looking at Regina blearily. She was standing over me.

My head ached, and my right ankle had ice on it.

"How are you? You fell really hard." She asked.

My hand rose to my head, somehow hoping it would relieve the throbbing.

"I'm okay," I said sitting up. I did it too fast and felt a rush of dizziness, "I think."

"Do you think you'll still be able to go to the concert tonight?"

"Yep." I said trying to reassure her…and myself.

"That's great. I'll take you home now. Eighth period ended like fifteen minutes ago."

"Thanks." I said finally standing up. My ankle nearly collapsed from the weight.

We walked to her car. Actually she walked, I staggered.

When we were safely in her Mercedes, I realized why I still couldn't see right.

"By the way, where are my glasses?"

She smiled and told me, "They're totally destroyed. You fell on them too."

Gosh, even my glasses hated me too.

Chapter 10

There were exactly three hours, fourteen minutes, and fifty-seven seconds until the concert.

Fifty-six seconds.

Fifty-five seconds.

I looked away from the clock finally. My head was fine and I could walk even though my ankle was still swollen.

I was worried about Hip Top, what is he going to do at the concert tonight by himself?

There was nothing to do now but worry.

Worry about Hip Top, but I was mostly worried about myself and how I'm going to survive the concert.

I decided to knit. Yes, I knit. It's so underrated.

I'm such a loser. Nobody likes me. I'll be alone forever and no one cares.

Only two hours, seventeen minutes, and thirty-nine seconds until Regina picked me up.

An hour after that, I put down my needles and paced in my room. Every time I went over a certain floorboard, it squeaks. It got annoying after a while so I decided to stop that and get ready. My perfect world would consist of no squeaky floorboards, no bleachers, and not to mention no bisexuals.

So I took a shower (not to mention tripping on my way out and hurting an already damaged head). I only had half an hour left, so I hurried, and found a vintage The Sex Pistols rock tee and a black button down shirt...might as well try to fit in right? Not wanting to totally look like my Emo Boy persona, I found a pair of jeans that weren't so tight.

My room was such a calamity, finding the clothes alone took twenty-five minutes, so I half-hazardly combed my hair and put eyeliner on. Then I went and watched TRL.

All of a sudden, I heard a car horn. Regina was there!

Chapter 11

Besides the two of us, Regina's best friend Brianna and her boyfriend Josh were with us.

The whole forty minute car ride consisted of Regina and Bri talking faster than the speed of light and laughing nonstop. I couldn't quite make out what they were laughing at, but it was probably at me. Everyone laughs at me.

Josh and I were in the back seat, ignoring each other.

He's captain of the football team, pure Chad Michael Murray with a hint of Jude Law. It disgusts me. Both of those actors suck. Not as much as I do though...

As we got closer to the concert there were more and more people. A lot of them had multiple piercings and tattoos, weird colored hair, and MCR shirts.

There was a really long line, but thanks to Regina's popularity and stunning good looks, we were able to find people that went to our school near the front of the mass they call a line and accompany them. I'm a loser. I would've had to stand at the end. I didn't even want to go to the concert. I'm a loser.

"Damian, it sucks that your glasses got trashed and you won't really be able to see everything tonight." Regina said trying to get a conversation going with me, since Bri was in a complete make out session with Josh. It looked like they were devouring each other. Kind of like the stuff you watch on the Discovery Channel.

"Um...I got contacts, it's okay." trying to get away from a goth girl who kept "accidentally" elbowing me. She didn't even say sorry.

The line moved forward right when I stepped back, leaving me knocking into yet another scary guy with purple hair and a nose ring. I apologized several, make that many times making sure to avoid eye contact by staring at his high tops (which were a spiffy purple color that matched his hair might I add).

We were at the door finally. Regina frantically dug through her purse to find our four tickets. She finally recovered them and gave them to the man with a dashing smile, like whoa I almost went blind. I love her...

Inside, there was a huge stage all the way in the back of the room. Tables greeted you when you walked in, trying to sell you overpriced band merchandise. Although there were many, many bright lights in the room, it gave off a dark atmosphere.

There were already about 200 people inside, and more kept filing in.

Regina and I walked around looking at the bands' pins and shirts.

Then I heard it. People softly chanting, it sounded like it was coming from the outside.

"Straight not curvy!"

Chapter 12

I ran outside. There were people everywhere holding signs and shouting.

I spotted Matt Brittany, one of Hip Top's other friends, leading the protest.

Hip Top was putting our old plans to use. But instead of me, he got Matt as a replacement. Now with the protest distracting most of the security he was going to...

A high-pitched guitar not rang through the air. Regina dragged me over to the crowd and wove her way to the front of the stage pulling me along. The opening act was onstage, blasting there music for a crowd that wasn't really there for them. I have to admit they sucked so much I thought they were going to implode.

They continued to strum through five more songs until surrendering (and being booed off) the stage.

After the next band was done too, it was My Chemical Romance's turn to hit the stage.

We stood there waiting for longer than the usual twenty minute set change. The crowd was getting restless after at least forty minutes. It was all in place. The plan. The crowd's chanting got quieter and quieter. They didn't come out.

"Um, Regina, I need to go..." I muttered.

"I'll come with you."

I didn't have the time to argue with her so we started pushing are way out of the smothering crowd to the exit doors.

We ran to Regina's car. I was totally out of breath.

I wheezed, "I need you to take me to someone's house. Get in, I'll explain it to you on the ride there."

Chapter 13

"No way, no way, no way!" Regina breathed out.

That's all I heard the whole ride, along with the random "ohmyGod"s. The whole ride.

This is his neighborhood, we're getting closer to the house." I said, directing her.

We pulled in the driveway finally. I leapt out of the car and started running towards the front door when I realized Regina wasn't following me. She sat at the wheel, staring straight ahead into pure nothing.

She realized I had noticed, actually I was staring at her, and quietly said, "I'll wait out here."

I tried to open the front door. Locked. Luckily I knew another way in. I climbed into his basement through a low window. I barely made it through, but being a vegan does wonders. I fell with a thud.

He wasn't down here. He must be in his room...

I hoped he didn't hear my not-so-graceful landing and began slowly tip toeing up the stairs to the ground floor.

From the door at the top I could hear someone muttering, and then a muffled scream.

At that instant I ripped open the door and ran inside to find Gerard Way taped to a chair facing a blaring television. He had duct tape over his mouth as well as his hands. His eyes were wide open, looking petrified, but unable to turn away from the tv.

"Hip Top what the hell are you doing?!" I screamed, not only out of disgust and shock, but also because the the tv was so loud I couldn't hear myself.

The movie that we had made was playing. Thanks to my uncle who had majored in hypnosis, we were able to create the perfect anti-homosexual hypnotic combination.

I turned off the tv and bent down to take off the tape, when I heard a click.

Hip Top was aiming a gun at my head.

"What's happened to you? I'm your friend!" I said, tears came to my eyes due to the fear of death.

"No, the question is what's happened to you? A girl asks you out and suddenly you're better than anyone else. It's like you took ego lessons from Kanye West. So back away, or I swear I'll shoot."

"I can't let you do this!"

It might've been just me, but I thought I saw his eyes well up.

"Watch me!" he said.

And he pulled the trigger.

Ch. 13

So I guess it really is like that Taking Back Sunday song.
Best friends means I pull the trigger. Best friends means you get what you deserve.
Don’t worry, I’m not dead.
The instant he shot the gun, Regina burst through the door. Out of surprise his arm flew up, shooting the bullet through the ceiling. That surprise led to the gun flying out of his grasp onto the floor in front of me.
A S.W.A.T. team came pouring in. Regina had called the police. They filed in surrounding Hip Top. They tackled him to the ground and fought his flailing arms with ease to put on a pair of bright handcuffs. Two other team members ran over to Gerard to help him out of his bondage. His face was still frozen in that horror-stricken pose.
The leader walked over to Regina. I couldn’t hear what they were saying although they were only ten feet away from me at the most: the gunshot had made my ears explode. They looked over at me and smiled.
"Gawht jub swahnt"……um….sorry I don’t speak gibberish.
He saw my expression.
"Good job, son!" No, he’s not my dad. He kind of reminded me of Santa Clause. But not that fat, overly jolly guy that make me wish I were bulimic. He was more like that skinny, European, Pere-Noel dude.
The men were leading Hip Top through the door.
"Wait," I yelled, "I have one question."
The bigoted delinquent looked at me.
"What’s your real name?"
"It’s…it’s…darn I didn’t want everyone to know this but it’s….it’s Gaylord."
Ahh, the irony.
The S.W.A.T.’s were filing out, one of them basically dragging the victimized singer.
Then the most amazing thing happened. Regina came over to me.
And then she kissed me.

Ch. 15

So life has been going pretty darn nifty after that.

Hip Top, or should I say Gaylord (it’s gonna take a while to get used to that) is now in a juvenile delinquent center.

Gerard was rushed to a hospital that day, and was just diagnosed with shock, and his skin was kinda torn when they had to rip the tape off…(that must’ve been fun)…And then he spent three months in a celebrity psych ward. A while after he got out, he called me. The phone call went something like this:

Me: "Hello?"
Gerard: "Hey this is Gerard Way, you know, the lead singer of My Chemical Romance? Yea I just thought I’d call because a nurse told me I should."
Me: "……"
Gerard: "No actually I’m calling to say thanks. I kind of remember what happened and I’m so lucky you were there, or else I’d be more whacked out than I am now"
Me: "Um, no problem."
Gerard: "Yea so in honor of you I wrote a song and we’re gonna star our reunion town in you hometown. You and your friends will get in free and vip and yea that’s a given." (Did I mention I don’t like his music?)
Me: "Great."
Gerard: "So yea, thanks again. I need to go…stupid manager…gay…" flinch.
Me: "Bye!"
Gerard: "Oh one more thing, do I look like a vampire to you?"
Me: "Yea…sure…"
Famous people are hard to talk to on the phone.

So yea that concert was good. I have to admit…especially the song about me. I got to hang out on the stage and watch.

And you know what, bisexual people aren’t that bad after all. I was so into preventing them existing, I didn’t realize that they, too, are actual people with emotions. Now instead of viewing them as the enemy, I’ve become friends with quite a few. And if it wasn’t for my recent interactions with the female species, I might of considered being bi- myself.

I became hot property throughout all this. My face was all over the news and there were some articles in magazines like Blender and the Rolling Stones. I was even labeled "Your New Crush" in some girl magazines. Take that Josh! Hellzyea! Although one article just portrayed me as some skinny whiny kid…jerks…everyone hates me still!

Everyone that is except for Regina. I found out that she asked me out because of a bet. Well it’s been six months since that infamous (and very lucky) night and I am happy to say that we are still together.

So the other day I was in English class busy deciphering the graffiti on my desk while the teacher was droning on about how symbolism actually means something…when I noticed a small drawing of an emo boy. He looked really familiar….Somebody must’ve been bored. But then I noticed someone had written "JUST DIE ALREADY!" with an arrow pointing to the miniature me. I realized at that instant, nobody likes emos. That’s why they’re emo in the first place. They have to become extroverted in order to be liked.

So now I am writing this journey for you as a new me.

Now you can call me:

Ghetto Boy!

Hellzyea!!!