Trading Up

It all started with one simple statistic: 80% of graduates settle in the state where they attend college. I don’t remember where I heard this, but the numbers startled something deep inside me. I realized I’m not content to be like my neighbor – born and raised in Utah, returning to her childhood home to raise her children. I want to see the world and experience other cultures. Daunting obstacles lie in my future, but I choose only to see the hidden joys peeking from the corners. After all, life is a series of opportunities waiting to be tackled with vigor and determination.
I am about to graduate from high school and head to Europe before embarking on a journey to an out-of-state college. Twelve years of schooling have come and gone and I am left with mixed feelings. I will be free of annoying hall passes and pep rallies soon, but I am also leaving behind the only world I have ever known. I venture forth to another state to study where no one cares if I skip class or don’t eat lunch or forget to turn in an assignment. I am going to be on my own, and that terrifies me more than I am willing to admit. Some days, I wake up knowing this carefree life of mine will end soon and I’ll face real responsibility. The impending question hits me again, “what if I fail?” It sits in the back of my mind weighing on my soul. On such days, I want to be a “super senior” staying in my familiar high school one more year. High school, although it can be boring and stifling, is also a safe place for me where former teachers stop to chat and old friends wait around the corner. A place I know I can succeed in. Yet, for every time I dread leaving my life behind, I eagerly anticipate starting a new one.
Ultimately, life is a series of trades – one school for another, one job for another, one circle of friends for another. If we don’t make these changes, refusing to leave behind what is comfortable and easy, we can never grow. Stuck in our mundane lives, we trade real life with all its disappointments and fears, joys and opportunities for a parody – a comic strip life where no one grows older or changes their clothes or moves on with life. Yes, there is the possibility of failure, but much more tantalizing is the promise of a new life.
This I believe: life moves fast, with you or without you. If you’re so afraid of failure you can’t risk success, you are cheating yourself out of a life truly lived. This I believe: life is there for your taking, so jump in, grab hold, and move on up. You can achieve what you believe.
I’ll be moving into my new dorm room soon. Mostly, I don’t like to think about it, but sometimes I lie awake at night and dream about my new life. I know I’m trading up.