Peices

Pieces

Another trip to the shop. How many times had it been? Three? Four? Thirty seven? It never was a bother, but I was wondering what my boy could possibly be doing for hours in that shop. All day every day “Mommy, can you take me back to that place?” he would ask, and since we ventured through rain, sleet, hail and brimstone, it became reflex to grab my keys and go because he obviously wouldn’t let me rest until he’s been there again.
Me and my Nicholas had been living in a little two bedroom house in Ohio for about three months. We moved here four months after my husband died in a fire. I always knew one day after me saying to myself “He won’t come home” it was a matter of time before it came true. Being a fireman was taxing on our family, but Anthony always made up for the time he spent fighting the city’s fires. Nicholas took it as best as a five year old could but it tore me apart. I would lie for days at a time in the very sheets we made love in and cry until exhaustion put a leash on my consciousness. Even after the crying, sulking and frequent break downs had slowed, I felt an almost tangible emptiness. It was there in my chest like a black hole. I couldn’t stay in that town, the very air made me sick so we packed up and left.
Nick and I would explore the town after I had changed out of my nurse’s uniform as much as possible but nothing seemed to spark his interest until he found that shop. We were walking along Mucor Avenue window shopping when I stopped to rummage through the land fill of my purse for a chap stick. That whole day, Nick had been like my shadow—there behind me and completely silent. The trip to town wasn’t so much for me, but for him, therefore I looked high and low for some place that had something to take his mind off of his father.

“Mommy, can we go there?” He asked, poking me in my thigh, pointing at what looked like an alley. I peered through the alley at a run down golden and green shop sign that read: ‘The Nook’.
“Are you sure honey? It’s probably an antique store. It doesn’t look like it would have anything you would like in it.” I reasoned.
“I just want to go there.” He said almost apologetically, one hand in a mound of curly black hair.
“Alright, we’ll go, but not that way.” I said following the side walk. Ever since that night Nicholas and I were almost mugged after treating ourselves to dinner, alleys made me uneasy.

On the other side, ‘Lester’s Antique Clocks’ was where ‘The Nook’ should be. The side of the sign was visible from where we were, but I didn’t want to risk running into anyone or anything in that alley. The sun would be coming down in about an hour or so anyway.
“Maybe it’s not there anymore.” I said looking down at Nick whose face had already fallen.
“Or maybe there’s another way in through this shop.” I said rubbing his little hand in mine.

Lester’s Antique Clocks was alive with little clocks hanging on every empty spot on every wall of the shop. The clicks, chimes, and occasional ‘coo-coo’s’ gave it a home-style charm.
“May I help you ma’am?” a voice said. Turning in the direction which it came, an old black man with deep laugh lines, a rich chocolate completion a tad darker than mine and short white hair stood at the register polishing the glass like a bartender. He reminded me of my uncle Joey with his burgundy plaid shirt, chestnut eyes and sweet aura about him.

“Yes sir, we saw a sign on the side of this building called ‘The Nook’. Has it gone out of business?”
“No ma’am, it’s always been there all these years. Here, let me show you.” He said motioning for us to follow him. He led us to a large cherry wood door in the back of the shop. That door looked like the newest thing on the whole block.
“I could never figure it out, but this place only attracts certain people.” He said turning the knob.
“Thank you sir.” I said, leading Nicholas through the doorway wondering what certain people we were.
“Doma, you have company!” The old man called turning to me.
“If you need anymore help, just holler. The name’s Lester.” He said holding his hand out.
“Kalista Perry,” I said shaking it. “I will.”

The Nook was an extremely large place with things sitting and hanging everywhere. It certainly had much more room than it possibly looked like it should from the outside. The smell of spices hung heavy in the air and there was little space to move around, save the paths created by the arrangement of tables.
“Hello” Doma greeted in a low ringing tone, stepping out from nowhere.
“Hi” I said, studying her. A small woman she was, maybe about 5’3 with butter pecan colored skin, a slim body type, and long unruly hair peeking out form under her burgundy head wrap. Her style hinted that maybe she was from gypsy territory, but I couldn’t figure how old she was. She didn’t seem youthful in the way she moved, but her appearance suggested she wasn’t over twenty five.

With that, Nick darted off in every direction looking and touching everything.
“Baby, be careful! You might knock something over or break something.” I said watching him stare into jars filled with florescent liquids, insects, or powders.
“Oh he’s alright.” She re-assured me.

Walking deeper into the shop, there was one massive wall of dust hugged books which made me wonder had it been a library before.
“What kind of shop is this?” I asked looking down at a table full of talismans, necklaces and charms.
“Well,” she said taking a deep breath, “I’ve had it for a while now and that’s hard to explain.” She said.
“This place has been passed down to me by my family and it actually functions a lot like a lost and found.” She elaborated, speaking from a chair in front of a massive cherry wood table, just like the front door.
“What sense does that make?” I asked myself.
“Who passes a lost & found down to their children?”

Remembering that Nicholas was apparently a kid in a candy store, I sat in a chair high up on a platform made for the book case and sat down. I had the feeling I was going to be there for a while, and since you could see everything and everyone from where I was sitting, I just grabbed a book and started thumbing through it.
After an hour and forty-five minutes of watching Nicholas run back and forth to Doma and ask “What’s this?!” and attentively listen to her inaudible answers, he finally came to me and said he was ready to go home.
“After all that running around, I’m surprised you aren’t trying to take this whole shop home.” I said, rousing and dusting off my blue jeans. He looked up at me with his little brown eyes shining, concealing something delicately in his hands.
“Mommy, can I have this?” he asked, as if he knew I was going to say no. He held out a bottle of what looked like lavender tinted hair gel with fine silver glitter in it.
“Sure, if you can tell me what it is!” I said shaking it. He looked as though he didn’t want to ruin a surprise.
“Well? What is it?” I asked again, replacing the cork.
“Its fairy snot!” he exploded.
“You want me to spend seven fifty on fairy snot?” I asked eyeing the price tag.
“YES!” Nick said, as though that would solve the all world’s problems.
“Alright.” I said shoveling out a ten from my pocket wondering what could excite a child about ‘fairy snot’.

That was just the beginning. Nick became a fanatic when it came to that shop. Once he came home that day, he tore the house apart looking for something; through my drawers, in my shoes, in the car, everywhere. When I ask what he’s looking for, he just says “It’s a secret!” quietly like someone will hear him. When he asked to go back there, I would take him, sit in my spot, and watch as that shop’s contents became his five-year-old life. He would often run to Doma with a book and request that she read it to him, or explain something in it. Luckily for me, the only other items he asked for was some strange looking brush and what appeared to be a glass box. I was glad to see him taking interest in something, but spending all my money on fairy snot, pig’s eyelashes or whatever other idea he came up with wasn’t an inviting thought.
The more Nicholas asked to go to that shop, the more drastic his requests became. He wanted to go to every store I had every shopped in, the hospital I worked in, and finally asked to go back to our house in North Carolina. It was empty, and technically since I bought it and was renting it out, it was still mine, but I couldn’t figure out why he would want to go there. I figured that it might be good for him to go back and play with all his old friends, and eat at the places his dad use to take him, so I agreed. It might be a bit painful for me, but for the sake of moving on, I made a promise to myself to not let this trip break the progress I’ve had in handling my husband’s death.
As soon as we had gotten settled in our hotel room, Nick asked to go out.
“Why, we just got here. We’ve got all weekend to go out. You don’t want to relax?” I asked sitting up from the bed I’d laid on.
“Mommy please? We don’t have to go anywhere else I ask if you just take me out today.” He pleaded. It was only four-o-clock in the afternoon, and I had never seen Nick so hell-bent on going anywhere that wasn’t a party, toy store, or pizza parlor.
“Yeah, yeah, grab my keys off the counter.” I said slipping my shoes back on.

~*~
So far, we had gone to my old job, the restaurant me and Anthony always use to eat, and even my former partner in crime, Tereasa's. The last place he wanted to go was our old house.
“Girl, what are you doing all this running around for?” Teresa asked me, jangling her gold bangle bracelets changing the radio station from the passenger seat.
“I don’t know what’s happened to Nick, but it seems like he wants to go every place I’ve ever been since his daddy died. He tears everything apart like he’s looking for something, and he always brings that stuff that I bought for him from this shop. A brush, a box, and this stuff he calls fairy snot. It’s strange.”
“Well, you must be willing to bring him all the way back here after leaving so fast for a reason.” she said thoughfully, smoothing her bob in the rear view mirror.
“Yeah. Part of me just wanted to look at the park across the street that me and Anthony first met in, and just sit on the porch a while.”
“Are you ever coming back?” she asked.
“Maybe. I just couldn’t take all those memories in that one house right after he died, but since he bought that house for me, I might move back in one day.” I said, half talking to myself.

Teresa and I sat on the kitchen counter catching up as Nicholas went sprinting through the house. Since there was no furniture, he didn’t have anything to mess up, so I just let him go. After about an hour, he emerged from the garage looking triumphant.
“We can go now.” He said with the biggest smile on his face.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” I asked
“Yes. Daddy helped me so you wouldn’t have to cry anymore.” He said walking out of the house. Teresa and I just stared at each other looking puzzled.

~*~
And here we go again. Now that we were back, he’s asking me to take him back to that shop.
“What is so fascinating about that shop?” I asked even though I’d probably lose my mind in a place like that if I were a five year old too.
“Mommy, please take me back, if you do I’ll never ask you to take me there again, please, just this last time?” he pleaded, almost crying. After fifteen minutes of negotiating, I promised to take him back right after work tomorrow.
Before we left, he carefully packed his glass box, brush, and glass of ‘fairy snot’ which only had about a drop left in it. His obsession with this shop was beginning to worry me, but I took him anyway.
Inside the shop, I sat in my usual spot, thumbing through another book as Nicholas took the same humungous old leather book off the table and asked Doma to read it to him. This time, he made her pause, and scribbled something down on a spongebob notepad before asking her to proceed.
“I may never understand this child” I thought looking back down into my book. When he was done, he jumped from his stool, packed his things, and graciously thanked Doma.

“He refuses to tell me what he’s been doing this whole time, and he seems like ever since he came here, his mind has been working over time, but I guess he’ll always spend a lot of time in here.” I said to Doma walking out of the shop.
“Oh he’s an extremely clever boy. He’s gave me some really good ideas when it comes to putting use to all the stuff in here, but I think his enthusiasm about this place has passed. Take care.” She said looking a bit hurt.
“You too.” I said trying to figure out what just happened.

~*~
That night, Nicholas had finally calmed down. No more rummaging through the house until he had exhausted all his energy. He was back to sitting up under me watching T.V., playing pirates in the tub, and peeking into whatever I was cooking.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” he asked timidly while drying the dishes I handed to him.
“Sure baby, you can sleep with me, as long as you promise not to try that kung-fu thing at three in the morning like you did last time.”

~*~
That night, I had fallen asleep, but it was uncomfortably deep sleep. I could hear small noises around me like the alarm clock hand ticking and Nicholas moving next to me but I couldn’t wake back up. I felt something cold on my chest followed by a rush of euphoria. Nicholas had his hand on my chest where that cold spot had been, shaking me gently. After my third attempt at opening my eyes, I finally woke up completely. Nick was standing next to the bed with his glass box opened on the night stand, wiping his ‘fairy snot’ on his pajamas. Everything looked somewhat normal but something was different.
“Mommy I did it!” Nicholas whispered to me putting the lid back on his box.
“Did what?” I asked still trying to place what felt so different.
“I put it back together!” he said climbing over me, and back under the covers.
“Put what back together?”
“Your heart” he said with a tone of satisfaction with himself. That’s when it hit me…what felt so different. That emptiness I felt in my chest since Anthony had died was gone.
“Your heart broke into a bazillion pieces when daddy went away. I saw it. So I found all the pieces and put them back together like Doma taught me.”
“With what? Your fairy snot?” I asked feeling ridiculous like trying to understand a nursery rhyme. At that he laughed.
“No mommy! That’s glue and that’s a box to hold the itty-bitty pieces in. They’re kind of sharp,” He said sighing deeply. “There’s no such thing as fairy snot Mommy! You’re so silly.”