If Only

I don’t
Know what to do
With myself, for myself
I am not happy with myself
With life, with people, with water or air
All I ask is to be happy
Am I asking too much?
Do you think so?
I don’t

Can I
Get a hand up?
Not out, no hand-me-downs
I don’t want to be fixed up…NO!
If he’s by himself too, what’s wrong with HIM?
I know…I am not making sense
I just want a nice guy
I mean, what’s up?
Can I?

I want
To find a love
That gives me the world twice
That makes me feel like we are one
He is me, I am he, and we are free
To be in love in this life, our
Life…mirrors of our souls
Mmmm…that is what
I want

You know…
I’d be so good
To my man, for my man
He would be so happy with me
He would never wonder if I loved him
Can’t buy his love with gifts and such
He’s too classy for that
Loves little things
You know?


Like me
Running his bath
Rubbing his back and neck
Holding him close after a hard day
He knows he is home and rests in my warmth
There’s no place he would rather be
Safe in my arms, my bed
Ain’t nobody
Like me

I love
How he knows me
My thoughts, my likes, my heart
He makes a point in learning me
There are certain things only he should know
Fave song…author…position
He keeps a mental list
On all the things
I love

It’s real
There’s no question
Already happening
In my head, in my soul
He is right around the corner…waiting
To walk into my life, to stay
For a while, forever
My heart knows it…
It’s real

If only
It was real NOW
A part of my life NOW
So I would stop dwelling on it
I should be happy about my life NOW
Happy with what I am in life
Smart…successful…living
Is that enough?
If only