The journey never to be

The journey never to be

I fear for myself...
Parents and family look to me with shame...
No friends to show me it will be okay...
No love to carry me through the blinding smoke...

It feels like it's raining as I stand on the path I need to take...
Starring at the road ahead...Knowing that if I walk things will be better again...
But I can't stop crying.... Can't force myself to take a single step...
A hate born from the deepest part of me...

A hate for all of you...A hate for myself... A hate for life...
Knowing they all left me when I got bad...
Knowing I was there for every single one of them...
A shadow hidden in the dark of reality is what I seem to be...

No one will ever notice me...Nothing will ever seem to change...
Death is something with such bitter sweets...
Knowing all this could be gone with one quick action...
My pain will die with me...

But I still stand alone, in the middle of the road as raid hits me...
She killed herself... I didn't and yet somehow I died anyway...
I took the blame... I never got over the shame....
One day, passion will lead me to making the same mistakes...

No one tells me they love me... All the love is gone...
How am I supposed to push forward for myself?
Deep inside the real me hides...Hides from the shame of the past...
Whoever I am no feels so cold, like a drone...Moving through the day...
An empty vessel...

Can a girls love really save me? Is that really my last hope?
For a girl to see the failure of me? The shame I have on my shoulders?
Can she really see me and be able to love me?
They tell me I'm crazy, tell me I'm hopeless and selfish...
Maybe one day I'll just show them how selfish I am...
By doing the most selfish act...
They will never see what is in me...

Love will never come... Hope will never fade...
So I stand in the road...Cold from the rain...
Soon to grow numb... Soon to fade from this world....
The long road ahead... A journey never to be made...
So I stand...