Momma Speaks

Claudia the youngest of six wasn’t sure what

to think when her mother named her the

beneficiary on her life insurance policy. She

looked at her mother as she laid there in the

coffin, wondering why she chose her out of her

siblings. It was clear that her momma hated her

out of them all. It showed from the old scars and

years of brutal beatings. If her sisters came in

late from school, she yelled at Claudia for not

waking her up to tell her. When her momma caught

her oldest brother James kissing Janna, who just

happened to be Claudia’s best friend, her momma

once again blamed her for bringing a fast girl

around the house.

Momma left instructions on how she wanted

her arrangements to be carried out. The family

could not understand. Claudia was to read the

will at the Grave three days after her burial.

She had also instructed Claudia to read a letter

to her husband of 45 years who now resided in a

veterans nursing home. Father to all her children

but whom worked so hard over the years they

barely even knew him. He was their father but

they only saw him on Friday’s when he stopped in

to leave money for bills and food.

Claudia watched as the few friends and

family members her mother wanted in attendance

filled the store front church. Even in her death

her mother made her presence known. Claudia’s

Aunt Gladys walked pass clearly aggravated and

stated, ”Your momma is a witch even from the

grave.”

The words appeared to shock Claudia for a

moment. She had never heard her aunt speak that

way abouther momma, but she clearly understood

what she meant.

Claudia watched as they filled in one by

one, and not a wet face in the place. More

frowning and whispers of, “why she wanted me to

attend, I will never know.” She looked over to

the left and watched as her three sisters and two

brothers hovered around talking and every once in

awhile glancing in her direction. She began to

feel as she have always felt, left out and alone

and as usual it was not her fault. She could not

understand why her brother Dylan was treating her

so bad. They have always been the tightest. He

was the one who use to console her whenever she

cried late nights from the many beatings she

received. He was the one she confided in about

everything from her first kiss to when she felt

she was ready for birth control. She could not

wait to get this all over with so she could leave

the small town she had always dreaded returning

to. For Claudia was now a big attorney for

Chicago.

Once everyone was seated the reverend who

was an old friend of Claudia’s momma, smiled as

he looked out at those who were in attendance. He

looked a little uncomfortable and embarrassed. He

promised Claudia’s momma he would give the

service the way she had wished.

He begins to speak just as everyone settled

in. “As you all know, Momma as she liked to be

called requested that you all attend. She knew

her time was coming and said she wanted everyone

who disliked her, held grudges, and owed her

money to attend. She even wrote the words for her

eulogy.

It reads as follows: No need to say kind

words Reverend, my works speak for itself. I can

imagine that you are all saying, this lady is

crazy even as she lay there dead in her coffin.

But over the years I have watched as most of you

abused and used people and I have treated you

accordingly. I have welcomed you into my home,

cooked for you, loaned you money that I did not

even have, and never asked for a penny back. All

except you Claudia, You do not understand now but

you will. All of you said that I was mean and

nasty. I saw through all of your selfish ways. It

was fine as long as I went with your program.

Once I realized how messed up I was over the

years and changed , I saw who I was in all of

you. I wish I could go back into time and change

things but I can’t. If you all look around those

whom I considered my real friends are not in

attendance. We held services while I was still

alive. I wanted to spend my last day above ground

with the real dead.

As the reverend looked out he saw all who

appeared to be shocked and insulted. In a low

voice he stated, “ This concludes service for

Momma.” Everyone left the church without saying a

word.

It is the third day and Claudia held the

envelope in her hand that contained the letter

that her Momma chose her to read. She looked at

her brothers and sisters as they all stood around

the fresh grave. She opened the envelope and

started to read. She didn’t bother to say

anything to her siblings, it was apparent

that they did not want to talk to her.

“To my children whom I have birthed and

raised. I gave until I could give no more.

Claudia I have always punished you for the wrong

doings of others. From your birth I saw me in

you. I saw so much potential in you and you made

it despite what I did or anyone else did to you.

I watched over the years how you took it

and I did not realize what I was doing to you

until the night you left for the military. Do you

remember our words? I do and they will forever

haunt me even here while in my grave. You did not

stop there you are now a successful lawyer. I

always wondered why you did not have any kids or

get married. I felt it was because you did not

want to be like me. Well my beloved daughter you

are loved and have always been. You are you and I

love you for it. I left you the policy money

because out of all my children you are the one

who have everything together. Use the money for

that family I am sure you will start someday.

To the rest of you, you have took from me

until I had nothing left therefore I will give

you what you gave me. To my Oldest daughter and

oldest son. You two have let me down the most.

Over the years I have watched how you have

manipulated and I even knew when you use to steal

my money to buy drugs. But I loved you. I prayed

that you would overcome your addictions. Mattie

you just kept having baby after baby and James

prison was your second home. For my daughters

Karla and Candice, you both have done well

but forgot about all those in need . Too busy at

you high paying jobs, too busy to take me to

doctor appointments and when I did not have any

money too busy to do for me then. I guess your

designer this and designer that was more

important. You both were always selfish. And

finally to Dylan, I watched you as you did your

best to watch over Claudia. When I was at my

worst you were at your best. I never could

understand though how you were always so easily

influenced. You and Claudia have done well over

the years and I can almost guess right now you

are standing over there with the rest of your

brothers and sisters like Claudia is the messed

up one. Don’t change your heart Dylan. It is

because of your good heart I took the liberty of

paying off your student loans and paying up your

condo payment for six months. It may not be

much but I did what I could. Now you Kids go

home and let me rest in peace. And Claudia I

could never make up for those times I have

wronged you but it was done out of love as crazy

as that sounds. Bye for now.