Unexpected Love Story

It all started with a boy named Cody. Or Moose, as I know him.
It was my third year up at HBLC (Hidden Bay Leadership Camp), except, this year, I was no longer a camper. But, then again, I wasn’t a counselor either.
I didn’t fit into a category at all. I mean, by title, I was a C.I.T (Counselor In Training), but because the camp was so small, I was the only C.I.T there.
Making it very difficult for me to fit in anywhere. I wasn’t a counselor, because I was too young. And I definitely wasn’t a camper, because I didn’t have to ask to go to the bathroom anymore. I didn’t mind it to the extreme, but it got a tad lonely sometimes.
Then, Moose started to flirt with me. He was tall and lean, and had my vote of the best male counselor body. I guess you could say I developed somewhat of a crush on him

Then, I lost my appetite completely. I always had butterflies in my tummy, and whenever he was around, I couldn’t stop myself from giggling like a little schoolgirl.

I think I may love him. From the first day of camp, to this very moment, sitting in this chair, recapping on old memories. Which honestly kind of scares me. I mean, I’m all about the love, but why is it so hard to say to him, when I’ve practically said it to every other person on this planet. I think that’s a good sign. I mean maybe that means that he’s much more special then everyone else on the planet. I feel really comfortable around him. He makes the awkward stuff not so awkward.

The first time I think I fell for him was at the ‘no hands’ dinner at camp. Well, actually, the absolute FIRST time was the first day of camp when he suggested we be partners for a game of Cat and Mouse, that was when the crush began. Him standing there in his absurdly oversized T-shirt, with his aviators, he looked like some sort of movie star dream.

Anyways, this dinner, we were the only ‘counselors’ at this table and we had some really slow kids sitting with us, wouldn’t have known anything if a bomb hit. And he was being like SUPER flirty and such. Talking about how to pick up girls and how not too. Then he noticed that I was eating really daintily (I was trying not to get food on my face, ‘cause you know it really doesn’t help the situation when your trying to impress a guy), and he told me that with the ‘no hands’ rule, you should just stick your head in, and grab whatever hits it. I definitely would’ve told anyone but him that I didn’t like getting food on my face, and I definitely was going to do so on purpose.
But, because it was him, I couldn’t resist but follow through with his suggestion.
So I aim to go in, putting my head on top of the plate, lowering it very slowly, trying to grab something with my tongue, figuring that that would be considered sticking my head in. When all of a sudden, he smacks my face right into my Caesar salad. I come up and there’s salad dressing ALL over my face. That’s when I knew it was more then just a crush.

Except, I couldn’t really do anything about it, because a) I didn’t want to set a bad impression with Aloe (the camp director, who I admire and respect utterly), and b) he would’ve been fired had he done anything more then flirt, since technically speaking, I was still a camper (I was a counselor in training).
Apparently all the staff, and most of the not so slow campers, new that we were going to hook up, if not already had.
Including Aloe. Which was really quite weird, considering she was like my second mother.
We didn’t do anything though. Until I came back as a ‘Volunteer Counselor’, and was no longer paying to be at the camp. Huh. I wonder if Aloe invited me back because she knew that Cody and I were destined to be together.
Or, it could just be my awesome leadership skills and contagious smiles, but I like to think fate played a little part in this game.

I left the camp for two weeks with only the most erotic hug I had been enthralled in. Which I guess isn’t such a bad thing.

The next time I saw him was at the Mandarin in Barrie (the staff had gone for dinner there). My dad just dropped me and my two bags off at the halfway point, where Aloe and crew would be driving me the rest of the way to Parry Sound.

Aloe and Orion were sitting in the front seat conversing amongst themselves. Me, Clyde and Cody were all in the back seat.
Cody was sitting in the middle reading a comic book thingy. I’m kind of reading over his shoulder. Laughing when he does. He puts the comic book away in the pocket on the back of the seat in front of me. Then they (him and Clyde) start talking about the best pick-up lines and such, and Cody says the ‘Polar Bear’ one and the ‘Shoulder Count’ are definitely winners, but the one he pulled off in the restaurant on Aloe, was the bomb. And he swears he has to show me what he did.
I was prepared for a proposal of some sort, really shaking, sweaty palms, nervous laughter, you know, that sort of thing you get around some you really, really like.
He digs into his pocket and pulls out this very small crumpled piece of paper. He unwrinkled it, smoothes it out, and hands it to me.

It was a fortune, from a fortune cookie at the Mandarin. On it, it said:

Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you.

How corny romantic is that, eh? I probably would’ve melted in my seat if I hadn’t known he was a goof and had already pulled off the same stunt on Aloe. But, then again, Aloe was a good 10 years older then him. And was also the camp director. So he really couldn’t mean it when he did it to her. Could he?

Anyways, once I came back to reality and laughed at the fortune, Cody said he had to show me the other pick up lines/actions. He swore they worked perfectly if done with the right attitude.

Him= How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Me= I don’t know, how much?

Him= Enough to break the ice, Hey, I’m Cody. (Insert sleazy grin here)

Then comes the latter one.
He says, ‘Wanna see how far I can count?’ and I say ‘sure’.
I’m sitting beside him in the car, and he looks over at his left shoulder, and touches it and says ‘one’.
Then he looks at his right shoulder and touches it and says ‘two’.
Then he looks at my left shoulder and says ‘three’, and looks at my right shoulder, puts his arm around my neck and says ‘four’.
The whole point of the trick is to have the person hooked under your shoulder. It goes much smoother in person, let me tell you that much.

Anyways, that was a long flirtatious car ride, involving awkward brushes of body parts and many giggles. Once out of the car, and unpacked, and bed made, I realize that Cody is playing his electric guitar in Communications (one of the cabins on campus, right in front of the girls’ cabins).
I think this is one of my braver actions. I went in, and sat down on a chair, legs crossed and everything.
Let me tell you, it took guts. I don’t usually do things like that. I’m a very low-key flirter. So anyways, he goes:

“Can I help you?”

“I came to hear you play guitar, like you said you would for me” I said this very, how you say, with a twinkle in my eye, and a hint in my voice.

I think we were in there for about an hour. A long while, anyways. He really loves guitar. Sometimes I believe I come second to it, even if he denies it.
Eventually, he suggested that we go up for dinner. He told me he would bring up his acoustic guitar, so he could play me some music I actually liked. What? I just sat for an hour watching you play heavy metal music. If I don’t like it, you must assume I came in just to flirt. Right?
…He was somewhat right. I’ve never listened to heavy metal on my free will before.

Some cheesy anime movie was on TV when we got up there. Everyone had already eaten and people were starting to leave.
Me, Cody, Clyde and Michael (I know, eh? Why was I always the only girl?) stayed up in the Dining Hall (the camps only source of electricity, running water and air conditioning) ‘till like 1am watching some stupid driving movie with naked hippies (which Cody insisted covering my eyes whenever her nudity was shown. What? Like I’ve never seen a naked woman before?), and Donnie Darko. Which, funnily enough, was kind of scary.

Me and Cody were lying side by side the entire night.
I tried so hard to get ‘closer’ to him, just by squiggling around. Its much harder when you’re wearing a skirt. I said I was cold, and he offered to go get his jacket from the storage floor upstairs.
I said that that would be lovely, and he bolted upright and ran to go get it.
It smelled like him. I was in absolute ecstasy every time I had to hide under it during a scary part of the movie.
For about the last half hour of Donnie Darko, our elbows were touching. I kept thinking he thought nothing of it, but, I was in heaven cause I was actually touching him.

After the movie, he walked me down to my cabin, ‘cause I didn’t have a flashlight. He lent me his flashlight so I could change in my cabin without too much hassle. He stood outside and waited.
When I came back and handed him his flashlight, I had a very strong desire to kiss him. I knew that he wouldn’t pull away, but something told me not to.
It hadn’t been a date, as much as it felt like one. So, I had no prerogative, except my gut. Which can be deathly wrong sometimes.
He walked away lips saliva free.

I went to bed that night with a smile on my face.
For so long I just wanted someone to like me. I told myself looks didn’t matter; I wasn’t going to be shallow for the price of love. I just wanted that one person that could tell me I was beautiful without looking away. Someone who loved the curves of my body, the smoothness of my skin, the shape my neck took when I tilted my head. I wanted to feel love. I wanted to give love.


The next day the campers came.
I was sent down to the gates to wait for cars to pull into the camp driveway and direct families dropping off their kids.
Soon after I was down there, none other then Moose (Cody; we all had camp names. He got his because he tried to do a moose call in the middle of the night to scare the female counselors’, didn’t quite make the right sort of noise though) showed up.
A few other counselors came and went. But for some reason, him and me were always there. Just talking, flirting a little. Came up with an inside joke. Anomaly. I word I didn’t know and he did. It’s strange when he starts talking so deep and meaningful. A side of him I quite like actually.
Then Fes (Clyde, he got his name because he looks identical to the Fes on “That 70’s Show”) and his awkwardness came down and started talking about how us too should ‘hook up’ because we have so much in common. Yeah, that didn’t make things awkward!
It was good fun though. Fes/Clyde is a good friend, we joke, we tease, we laughed, I didn’t mind him being down there. As long as he didn’t mind mine and Moose’s continuous flirting.

Once all the kids had arrived, we slowly, and quite sadly, lugged ourselves up to campfire where they were roasting hot dogs (a first day ritual).
However, because I’m a vegetarian, I always have to wait half an hour longer then everyone else before my food is ready.
Moose was keeping me company while I waited. I’m not even sure he knew I was waiting, but the company was still nice.
He started talking were talking about camp wide (after dinner everyday, all the campers join in on one big game, like Capture the Flag or something), and what game we would be playing, since he was games master for that night.
He told me that he wanted to play Counselor Hunt (where all the counselors’ hide on the camp grounds, in the forest etc. and the campers have to find them before times up).
He then guaranteed me a hiding spot.

“Me, Clyde and Jocelyn hid here during the LIT session. What you do is take one of the camp blankets (they’re grey) and you lay down behind these big boulders, and throw the blanket over top of us. What’d you say? You in?”

Of course I agreed.
Alone, under a blanket with a guy who was number one on my ‘Hot Guy’ list. (Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood follow shortly after).
It sucked ass when Spiff (real name: Kelly, a guy I never completely came to terms with. I mean, I didn’t hate him like Moose did, but our personalities kind of deflected each other. He got his name from Sugar Plum Fairy, SPF) told Moose that Counselor Hunt wouldn’t last as long as we needed it to, so we had to play Capture the Castle instead.
I was disappointed, I have to admit. What can I say, he got my hopes up.

During the game, a little kid named Curtis was on my side of the game, and I was running over to catch him. He stopped me and told me he had something for me in his hand. Not believing him, thinking it was some sort of trick; I kept running to tag him.
He kept pleading for me not to touch him, cause he had a present for me.
I caved in, like I always do with cute kids.

He held out his hand, and there, resting in his palm was a little scrunched up piece of paper. I took it from him, unrolled it, and laughed. It said:

“Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you.”

Its fate, I swear. How did this little itsy bitsy piece of paper come from the hide out of Cody’s pocket, and into my hands without him having anything to do with it?

I went to where he was ‘supervising’ the game (aka, standing there doing nothing), stood beside him and handed him the little piece of paper.
He took it from me, read it, laughed and asked where I got it from.
I told him.
He acted like this sort of unexplainable situation happened to him everyday. That any little boy could have found his fortune that he once showed me, and give it to me out of all the other female counselors at this camp. Yeah, real normal.

Anyways, he got distracted from this topic and started apologizing that we couldn’t use his hiding spot that night. Then…

Him= Have you ever seen the stars out on the dock at night?

Me= No actually, I haven’t.

Him=Well, would you care to join me tonight after your cabin goes to sleep?

Me= I would love to.

Him=Good, it’s a date.

Me=Ok. It’s a plan.

See, with me, I tend to just say things that I’m used to saying. Only after I say it do I sometimes realize it doesn’t make sense. Like, ‘It’s a plan’, right after he says ‘It’s a date’. Smooth Caitlin, real smooth.

It’s hard to explain the emotion that was going through me just then.
I hadn’t been on an actual date since Jared. And that was almost four years ago. Sure, I’d had my fair share of guys. From Dan Martin who lived in Barrie and told me he loved me within three days of knowing him.
To guys like Luke and Mark who were in my grade 8 class and constantly flirted with me.
But I never actually had a guy put this much effort into hooking up with me.

Secretly, I had never been kissed. French-kissed that is. Not while I was sober anyhow.
It’s been my deepest regret, telling people about the bus boy who only existed to a certain part of that story.
The thought of actually BEING kissed, was enough to start the butterflies a rumbling in my tummy. I was nervous, excited, and ready to wet myself at any given time.

I did come prepared, however. I guess it was fate who told me to pack a thong or two in my camp luggage. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It sucks that I look like a complete dork in a thong, but hey, I though why not give it a shot. Plus, my friends had bought for me as a birthday gift. I guess that means they don’t think I’d look completely dumb in it.

I wasn’t sure how this was going to work out.
I had finished reading the Robert Munsch stories to the girls, and they were all lying there perfectly quiet. It was definitely a room of mixed emotions. My adrenaline was racing, and their pulses were slowing down, coming into a coma of a good nights sleep. I think I was probably shaking, I’m pretty sure I could feel my teeth chattering.

I managed to get out of my cabin, with my flashlight, bulky sweater, and thong in place. But what next?
I was looking for some sign of invitation from the boys’ side.
Maybe a flashlight code, or a loud whisper.
I got nothing, and headed to the girls bathroom where I could do a last check. Just my luck, Orion (Meagan, she likes stars) was cleaning the bathrooms.
I offered to help, which wasn’t a surprise, because I did so quite often at camp (I was the perfect example of Servant Leadership), and she happily accepted.
The bathroom supplies were on the guys’ side, which meant that I could go over and see if Moose was out there yet, or not.
Plan worked brilliantly. He was there, and he was in the bathroom with Fes (shaving I later found out).
Orion seemed a little curious as to why I wouldn’t walk back to the cabins with her, but eventually she left.

‘You ready?’ he asked me.

‘Yup’

‘Kay, I’m just going to run into my cabin and grab a blanket, I’ll be right back.’

‘Kay.’ I bet at this point I either had a huge grin on my face, or some sort of sickly squint. I was happy as a hippo, but nervous as hell.

He came out carrying one of the camp blankets, gray and probably lice infested. You got used to them, considering they were all the extra heat the counselors’ could get during the night.

Keep in mind I have extreme difficulty seeing during the day, seeing in the night, is about 100 times worse.

So, I’m stumbling about, making a complete idiot out of myself, and he’s walking gracefully down the rock-covered, pitch black hill, trying to guide me with his flashlight.

Looking back, I think that I wanted to show him every part of me before he went and tried to make a move on me. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t perfect, tall, model-like beautiful, I was just me. Quirky, strange, and if you turn your head slightly to the right, I’m somewhat pretty.

We finally manage to get down to the docks, and me, following camp rules, goes over to the waterfront gate.
Moose looks at me with the ‘Are you serious?’ face.
It clicks that its night time, no one can see me, and there are no campers around. Taking a step of rebellion, I hop over the waterfront rope. Not steadily, but at least I didn’t trip and fall.

We take our shoes off at the base of the dock. His size 12 men’s runner, definitely old and ratty, and my size 7 ½ ladies Burkenstocks, nicely worked in.
We’re both wearing socks because it gets really chilly at night up North.

Anyways, the dock isn’t the most quiet dock, with every step you take it creaks like there’s no tomorrow. I could’ve sworn we woke up at least 3 cabins with the noise we were making getting down to the end of it.
When we did get there, Moose swept the blanket into the air, and it landed in a perfect square on the dock. Just like in the movies.

We both start to arrange ourselves on the blanket.
He lies down one way, and I don’t know what I was thinking, but I lay down so that my feet were at his head.

He comes up on his elbows, and I imagine he was raising his eyebrow at me (I couldn’t see in the dark).
I was nervous to no end.
I knew that if I turned around, our heads would be closer together. Bringing us one step closer to kissing. A step I both wanted to hide under my pillow until my wedding day, and come up to the plate already and just do it.

I eventually turned around. I knew there was no way out of that one unless I told him I had to go pee and never returned. And considering I liked him pretty bad, that seemed like a not so great idea.

Lying side by side was the most awkward part of the night. Close enough to touch, but not ‘close’ enough to do so. Get what I’m saying?

He started spilling out all this information on constellations. Naming a few of them, telling me where he learnt them from, when all of a sudden, this friggin’ HUGE shooting star passes right above us. I’m not even joking, it had to be at least a meter long from the ‘on earth’ perspective.

‘Did you make a wish?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know, maybe,’(Again, don’t ask about the stuff that comes out of my mouth)

‘What did you wish for?’ I asked him.

‘I can’t tell you. But you’ll probably find out later.’

I was dead curious to find out what he had wished for. Knowing that could’ve gotten me so much closer to finding out the answer about all this. Had it been, ‘I wanna get you in my pants, TONIGHT’ I would’ve known he was a sleazy jerk that I wanted nothing to do with. If it had been ‘I wish that I could have a hamburger right now’, I would’ve known that this moment definitely wasn’t making an impact on him and that I should just go.
But, unfortunately, I don’t read minds. And besides, I was way to nervous to start questioning him about his wish.

‘Are you cold?’ he said referring to the pocket my hands were in.

‘Yeah, a bit, my hands are cold. What about you?’ gesturing towards his hands with my chin.

‘Yeah, my hands are cold, too. We should move closer, the body heat will keep us warm.’

Omigod! My heart just about jumped to my throat.
I’m not sure how, but I shimmied myself over so that I was basically lying on his right shoulder. I was touching him! And it wasn’t one of the ‘Oops, that was an accident, but not really’ touch either. He actually wanted me to be close to him, and both of us were in our right minds! (Well, you never know, the summer air could’ve done us both in, but I don’t like to think about that).

‘I’m still cold’ believe it or not, I actually said this. I know, talk about confidence!

He pulls the blanket from under him, and wraps his side of it around me, and I roll onto my side and slide my butt back, to hint the ‘spooning’ position. He gets it and wraps his arm around me.

Our past together is flashing before my eyes, and the position suddenly feels so awkward. At the same time, I never want to leave. Our relationship has stayed ‘G- rated’ throughout the summer because we’ve always been in front of children. Touching, not even doing anything, just being there in his arms felt like I was breaking a thousand rules.

Moose raised his head and was now resting on his elbow, kind of looming over my face. In the night, he looked completely different. No longer a camp counselor, but some sort of fantasy man. His dark curls had grown during the summer, and were falling into a frame around his face. The hazel of his eyes couldn’t be seen in the dark, but somehow they still managed to sparkle.
I know, I’m laughing, too. But, seriously, he looked like someone from a dream of mine. All the things I wanted in a guy were somehow packed together and lived in this boy named Cody.
I could feel his heartbeat. Or was that mine?
He took in a breath of air, and:

‘This is the awkward part. Are you single?’ This is it!! I’m smiling big time now.

‘What would you say if I said no?’ Yeah, I know, I always say the completely unromantic things. He still likes me.

‘….I’d be interested.’

Laughing, I say, ‘Yes, I am. Are you?’

‘Yes. Do you want to be?’

‘Not right now, no’

‘Good. Either do I.’

I guess at this point he assumed that that was asking me out. Honestly? It was good enough for me.

‘You know, this would be a lot easier if you turned around.’

We were still in spooning position.
Which I was quite comfortable with. I mean, the further apart our lips were, the less of a chance that they would run into each other, right?
Well, apparently, not kissing someone who just so happens to bring you out under the stars, flirts with you non-stop, just asked you out and stares at you like there’s actually something to see, is a lot harder then it would seem.
I turned around.

I’m not sure how, but we both ended up UNDER the musty blanket.
I get anxious even thinking about this.
I bet I stopped breathing when I was actually there. Our faces were touching. Our noses, to be exact.
He kept hinting. I kept backing away.
Eventually, it would become kind of suspicious, right?
So, I aimed, I shot, and I burst out laughing. I really don’t know why he liked me so much. I mean I was a complete idiot. Even today, when we kiss, if the wrong thought comes into my mind (a certain situation, like, if my tongue is too long and I end up choking him), I burst out into a nervous laughter. I am completely retarded sometimes.

‘What?’

‘Nothing. I’m really bad at this.’ I admitted it.

‘Me too.’

We try again, a little bit more successful this time. I was really thankful it was dark under that blanket.

‘Do you want to go up to the Dining Hall? We might be a bit more comfortable.’

‘Uh… Yeah sure.’ I really am the great conversationalist, aren’t I?

So, down the worlds’ noisiest dock we go, waking up even more cabins, I was dizzy from standing up to fast and couldn’t quite see were I was going, despite my poor eyesight.

‘So, this is just a summer fling, right?’ Positive that something this good wouldn’t stick around.

‘What?! I was hoping for something for MUCH longer?’

‘Like, a relationship?’

‘Yeah. I mean, Bradford and Toronto aren’t that far apart. Only about 45 minutes.’

‘Oh. Okay’

‘What, did you not want to keep this going?’

‘No no no, I do. Trust me, I do. I just didn’t think you would want to.’

‘Why wouldn’t I want to? You’re beautiful, smart, funny.’

I never know how to respond to compliments. ‘….Uh…Thank you?’

‘So, I’m assuming you’re a virgin?’

Going from anxious, to nervous, to confusion, to nervous again, to complete shock now.
‘Yeah, I am. Are you?’

‘Yeah. So I was think-’

‘What? You’re a virgin? I could’ve sworn you weren’t! You sounded so knowledgeable about the whole… topic!’

‘Yeah, I can do that sometimes.’

This took a moment to take in. When I finally came back to the conversation, he was naming places we could have sex. That gives a really bad impression, doesn’t it?

‘Wait, what?! You want to have sex?’ Every time I said ‘sex’, I couldn’t take it seriously enough to say it clearly, so it was always more of a mouthing, whispering action, as my eyebrows shot into the sky.

‘Yeah.’

‘With me?’

‘Yeah.’

‘But, we can’t have ‘sex’ at camp!’ I’m not saying I would, but I clearly heard Fes talking about the ‘talk’ Aloe gave to all the counselors’ involving their relationships at camp. And rule number one, NO SEX AT CAMP!!!!

‘Not if you get caught you’re not.’

I had a really bad image of all the counselors getting caught in the act. Ugh.
I was in too much shock to continue the conversation, and we had reached the Dining Hall anyways.
There were two pairs of shoes outside the door. Who, of course belonged Fes and Bounce (or Clyde and Jocelyn, who got her name because she bounces when she walks). I remember a very unfortunate story that Cody had told me about walking in on them making out.
Topless.
Jocelyn was really angry at both Cody and Clyde. So, this time, Cody was smart enough to at least knock.
I’m not sure if it was just me, but I could’ve sworn I heard someone say ‘GO AWAY!’ and then ‘COME IN!’
Cody took initiative and went in never minding the ‘GO AWAY’.
I let him walk in first, not about to be blamed for interrupting anything.

Once it was a clear OK to come in, I slid off my shoes and walked into the completely dark Dining Hall.
I focused and saw Clyde and Jocelyn snuggling on the couch.
I saw Cody standing in front of them and went over to his side.
It was kind of odd because they just sat there looking at us. Then Cody pulled me towards him, his arm around my waist, throwing me completely off balance.
They burst into a cheer of happiness and ‘I knew it’s.

‘Yeah, its pretty great, isn’t it?’ Cody started talking.

‘Well its about time. You guys are so naïve when it comes to flirting.’ We totally just got insulted by Jocelyn.

‘Wait, you knew we were going to get together?’ Now I was curious.

‘Stuffie,’ (that was my camp name. I got it ‘cause someone asked me if I liked stuff and I said yes. Unaware I was supposed to tell them what ‘stuff’ I liked) ‘about the entire staff knew you guys were going to get together. It’s not like it wasn’t obvious!’

My bad. I didn’t think our flirting was that upfront. Then again, Cody isn’t a very low-key kind of guy.

We got the PG version of the ‘Sex Talk’. We were just told to stop flirting so much during the day, and not sit with each other during meals.
It was going to be hard, but manageable.
Jocelyn got all girly and asked to hear how it happened.
Me and Cody were now cuddling on the couch as well. I was happily lying on his lap when he started to tell the story.
Mid sentence he stopped.

‘Did you want to tell it?’

‘No, its okay, you can’ I wanted to his manly version of the tale.

Of course he left out all the details of the shooting star, and I clearly heard him repeat that I said ‘I’m not good at this’, referring to my kissing skills. Thanks Cody.

‘I know this sounds weird, but for the last, like, half an hour of Donnie Darko, our elbows were touching. I was hinting but I guess you weren’t catching on.’

‘What? You were hinting? Like what?’

‘Nevermind. Just little things’

‘Well, I think we should leave you two alone on your first night together as a couple.’ Fes interrupted.

‘No, I don’t think we should.’ Now Jocelyn was playing the big sister role.

Eventually Clyde pulled her upstairs to leave us alone, but not alone enough to know that if they were quiet, they could hear every word we were saying.

I think the fact that someone knew about us now, meant it was official. Neither one of us could take it back and turn around. Not that either of us were even thinking that.

‘We’re alone now.’ Cody said to me in a very movie star manner-esque.

‘Yes, it looks as if we are’ playing along.

I was still in the comfort of his lap, but he insisted on pulling me up so that I was now full frontally lying on him, our heads next to each others.

‘Shall we try this again?’

I didn’t need to answer this one. One, because I honestly didn’t want too, and two, because he had already planted his lips on mine.

Oh, the awkwardness of a first kiss between a boy and a girl.
I came off as a natural born kisser. I had told him that I had kissed before, just not when I was sober. This gave me some sort of confidence. He wasn’t doing as great as I was.

‘I guess that’s what French kissing is.’ He said coming up for a breath of air.

‘You’ve never been French kissed before?!’

‘Not like that I haven’t’

Wow. I was his French kiss devirginizer. Apparently he wanted me to be much more then that too.

‘Oh! I wanna try something on you!’

Without my permission, he grabs the end of my shirt and starts to pull it up.

‘HEY! What do you think you’re doing?’

‘Taking your shirt off.’ He said it like I took my shirt of for guys everyday.

I honestly didn’t know what to do. I mean, I could take my shirt off, but part of me was saying, ‘Don’t do it just so he’ll stay together with you!’ and the other was saying ‘C’mon Caitlin, you know you want to!’ But I actually didn’t know if I wanted to. I was only 15. Sure, I had day dreamed about the day I lost my virginity since I turned twelve, but what girl hasn’t?
It’s so much different in real life.

I was silent for a good ten seconds. His hands still on my stomach, I could feel the chill going up my spine. He was staring at me, trying to read what I was thinking. I’m sure it was obvious that I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and this is usually the time when smart girls say, ‘Well, if I don’t know what I want to do, I better not do anything.’ But, then again, I’m not your typical girl. Come to think of it, I’m not your typical human being.

‘Come on,’ he was trying to persuade me. ‘you know you want to.’
Read my thoughts exactly.

He was slowly inching up my shirt. I was concentrating on sucking and, and still thinking if this was the right idea, to give him what he wanted. But, I wanted it too, so, does it really matter.

He got to the built-in bra part, and I started to giggle.
He looked confused, and had to bend his head down to see what was going on.

‘It’s a built-in bra’ I felt the need to explain.

‘What’s that?’

‘This’ I nodded towards my shirt.
‘Oh’ As he continued to pull my shirt over my breasts, I squinted my eyes, afraid to see his reaction.
I mean, I knew he wasn’t going to be disgusted. I have great breasts, no straight man would be disgusted. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to see the look of desire, lust, horniness in his eyes. To feel a mans gaze on me, it was scary, I felt violated. Not even my closest friends have seen me full frontally naked.

My shirt was now over my breasts, and I could see them glowing in the dark from not having any available chance to tan topless. It wasn’t comical though. Looking down on my own body, I was no longer a sex object, I was this Goddess pulled down from above, and showing off my beauty to the world. The shapes, the curves, the creaminess of my skin in the dark. I was no longer awkward, or giggly, I was… proud.

‘You have AMAZING breasts.’ stating the obvious. ‘I’ve always admired them from afar’

‘Thanks, I quite like them, too’

‘Kay, I wanna try something’

No longer having a care in the world, I wasn’t going to stop him. Mind you, the butterflies had not left my stomach, but the thought of having Cody wanting to be so close to me, gave me a sense of contentment.

He brought his head lower, and gently placed his mouth on my nipple.

I had a recap of a late night when I was a C.I.T, and me, Moose and Draft were the only ones up at the dining hall. I had stayed with full intention of doing some writing and paperwork. Then, Moose decided he wanted to stay. As did Draft.
The conversations held between two males, are ridiculous. Not that I can say I expected anything different. For about an hour, all I heard was talk about sex, sex positions, and how to give a girl an orgasm just using your mouth and her nipple.

I would explain to you how I stopped him from going further, and made him sit beside me all night, not doing anything but kissing. But, that’s just not the case.

The feeling of the warmth of his mouth on me was irresistible. The incredible wetness of it all. The feel of his tongue playing with my hardening nipple. It was all so amazing. I was breathing deeply and contracting every so often.
I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn’t take them off this Wonder Boy. This was Cody. This was Moose, voted most likely to go for a license to have sex as much as possible. Why was he different then all the other boys? He was just as horny, if not, more. He stated his sexual opinions very clearly. One would think he was just out for a Booty Call.
Why didn’t I see that in him?

He lifted his head, and smirked at me.
I smiled back as recognition of a job well done.

We moved onto the floor, and I pulled my shirt completely off. I was a Tarzan lady sex god, no one could stop me now.
He lay down on the ground and I crawled on top. My legs bent at either side of him.

I passionately kissed him, the way I wanted to. I played with his hair, ‘cause I felt like it. I let my curious hands explore the landscape of his slender chest. All the while, I never closed my eyes. I didn’t want this to end. This was the special dream I rarely had. This was that feeling of absolute desire and lust. I wanted to memorize every single breathe of it, afraid it would never happen again.

He started to raise his pelvis towards me. Surprised at first, I gradually started to follow, making myself in sync with his thrusts.

He took a breather for the need to educate me. ‘Do you know what we’re doing?’

‘I believe it’s called humping’

‘Yeah, I believe so.’

That was an unnecessary interruption. But those are the random things I find so transfixing about him.

We went on like that for a little while. Both of us lost in each others bodies. Neither of us wanting to detach from one another. Neither of us even thinking that Clyde and Jocelyn were still trapped upstairs, giving us time alone.

I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want to stay up there forever, but it completely ruined the moment when:

‘I COMING IN!!!’ This was of course, Clyde.

‘NO! HOLD ON A SEC!! Me and Moose were scrambling to get off each other.
I was frantic trying to search for my shirt.

I heard the doorknob turn, I heard him walk in. I heard him say ‘Oh My God!’ at the sight of half-naked me running for the bathroom.

‘Clyde! You ass! I said “Hold on!”’ Cody was explaining.

‘I’m so sorry man!’ Clyde said. Maybe it was just me, but I heard a tone of laughter in his voice.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

‘Yes?’ I said panicked.

‘Open the door, its me.’ It was Cody, thank goodness.

He handed me my shirt through the small opening of the door. I was shaky putting it on. I was smiling, ‘cause this really was too funny, but how awkward things would be when I walked out.
Which it was. It was complete silence, until Clyde apologized to me, and swore he didn’t here us say ‘Don’t come in!’.

Jocelyn had a look of absolute hatred in her eyes.

‘Bounce looks like she hates me’ Cody said, directed to me, but so that everyone could hear.

I looked over at Bounce again, and laughed. I had a big sister chaperone now.

‘Bounce, its okay.’ I wanted to reassure her that I had played my part just as much as Cody had played his.