N/A

Her incessant nagging could still be heard, even through the bathroom door. Jonathan Daulty slumped down on the edge of bath tub.
“If you had discussed with me the possibility of you being a terrible husband before we got married, you could have saved me some of the trouble.” She said sarcasticly.
With a loud sigh he leaned over placing his hands over his ears muffling the sound of her voice.
He could only make out a few words now.
“Came by twice….papers haven’t been signed….lawyer…..owed to me”
He now had a splitting headache and his eyes were pounding in his skull. He had instructed Adrienne to come by on Monday when he would be away at his office, she ignored his wishes and showed up at 7am on Saturday. He sat in blue plaid boxers pondering to himself what he had seen in her when they married 2 years ago.
“U-haul…..10 a.m…..be ready…..selfish bastard.”
With that, the front door slammed shut and silence flooded his home.

Adrienne had been a blind date one of his co-workers had set him up on. She was beautiful. She had long curly hair, which was kept absolutely perfect every day. Being of Italian decent her skin was an immaculate olive shade. He had to admit to himself that it had not simply been her brains that initially attracted him. She had an flawlessly perfect body. A daily four mile run and weekly games of tennis could not have done for her what genetics did. She had been born with her body. She was petite with just enough curves to compliment her. Adrienne was, on first glance, the perfect woman. 2 years and all my self esteem down the drain, he was ready to admit he was mistaken.

He had come home early from work 2 months ago to find his lovely Adrienne in bed with the “Frederico”, the man whom she had hired to wallpaper the living room. He quickly ran into the bathroom and vomited, although he didn’t know if it was the scene or the shellfish from lunch. He had known Adrienne was unfaithful for months before this most recent incident. Initially, the sudden Saturday night meeting that required her to wear a tight black dress and stilettos had made him a tad curious. He had followed her to “Valentino’s” Italian resteraunt in the city where she met up with a male co-worker who must have insisted that skipping dinner and heading straight to the Parkway Motel was a better idea than dinner. He had confronted her the following day and she quickly denied all notions and reassured him of her love calling him, “completely neurotic.” Needless to say he forgave her, and two short months later he catches her sleeping with the wallpaper man. Adrienne was the one who ultimately suggested they get a divorce, which he resisted whole-heartedly. It wasn’t that he valued the sanctity of marriage, it was more a passive-aggressive effort to get revenge by not giving her what she wanted.

The latch on the bathroom door clicked as he unlocked it. Adrienne had come to pick up some of her stuff to take back to Frederico’s apartment in North Philly. She had left his bedroom in shambles as she tore through his closet; now he would have to waste his Saturday picking up after her. He grabbed a pair of jeans she had carelessly tossed on the floor and slid them on. It was only 8:00 a.m and he already felt exhausted. Maybe he would drive out to the “Plain and Fancy” diner and catch some breakfast.



The waitress seated him in the smoking section despite him specifically asking for a booth in non-smoking. She walked away without saying anything. She had smelled of nicotine and baby food. She had to have been roughly 35, she looked like she had lead a rough life. As she walked away he couldn’t help but notice how her hideous pink one piece uniform was tight in all the right places. She glanced over at him from across the room as if she knew what he was thinking. He quickly averted his gaze to the ground. He had to get out of this rut he thought. Ever since Adrienne he hadn’t even thought about dating, although he had been having pretty regular fantasies.

“Hey darlin’ can you tell me where the haggard elderly people get seated? I’m looking for my friend.” Someone said in a burly voice behind him.
Chase chuckled deeply as he slid into the chair across the table. It was the weekend and as usual he was wearing a gaudy red Hawaiian shirt. Smiling when he looked into the man’s face, he was glad he had thought to call him.

“So the ball and chain came by this morning?” chase said as he pulled his Marlboro Reds from his shirt pocket.
“Yeah, well I told her to stop by on Monday but when has she ever cared about my plans?”
“Y’know what you should do Jonny boy?” he lit his cigarette and took a deep drag. He blew the smoke carefully from the side of his mouth away from their table.
“Take her for all she’s worth. Its simple Jon, she makes more than you do in two years your 32 retire early.” He joked.
Although he smiled he didn’t see the humor. He had been the woman in the relationship for two years, dealing with her late nights and no shows along with her other men. He was tired of it, he didn’t want her money he wanted out.

This time an older waitress shuffled slowly over to the table. Her face was worn and pruny with deep wrinkles. Her nose was large and beaklike and she had beady eyes. The pink one-piece that had looked only mediocre on the younger waitress now made his stomach turn. As she got closer he realized she smelled an awful lot like the nursing home he used to visit his grandmother in when he was young. That smell always made his stomach sour.
“I’m Betty, what can I get you?”
“I’ll have the sunrise breakfast.” Chase said matter-of-factly.
“And how about you buddy” she croaked as she motioned towards me with her pencil.
“Just some toast and orange juice” I said feeling ill.
Just as slowly as she had arrived Betty turned with the menus and shuffled away.
Just then “Don’t fear the reaper” began playing muffled and tinny. Chase reached into his pocket and flipped open his cell phone.
“A-ello” he said loudly with the accent on the A.
As his voice boomed people turned to stare.
“No sir I had planned to head to Jersey to take “the nautilus” out on the Delaware River”
The nautilus was the name of his boat.
“Well I guess if it has to be done I can come in about an hour” he said as he looked at his watch.
He flipped his phone shut just as the waitress slid the slightly warm food on the table.
“Who was that?” I asked although I already knew.
“That bastard Baxter again. I don’t know where he got his degree. He needs me to come in and take over the “Army of One” reprint job. I have to be there in an hour.”
“Is this a high clearance job?” I asked.
Most of the printing jobs Condit and Company ran were military jobs that required special badges to enter the department.
“No, not this one.”
“Do you have to go in?” I asked.
“Printing is a rough and tumble field my friend, sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. Right now we’re up and I could use the overtime.” He said pushing his eggs around with his fork.
“Well I will join you, I have to grab some files from my office anyway” truthfully I just didn’t want to go back to my messy apartment.
Chase took out a twenty and tossed it on the table.
“Lets head out, there’s no question this jerk has a lot of work waiting for me”
I grabbed my coat from the back of my chair and snuck a quick glance at the younger waitress before heading out to the car.



Twenty minutes later Chase and I pulled up to Condit’s “E” building. He parked his bright red Chevrolet F-150 truck in a handicap spot and jumped out. I glanced around nervously. I wasn’t normally allowed to enter from this building, printing was strictly relegated to building “D” and design was building “E”. Chase pushed through the front door and into the dark waiting room. It was small and boxy with a long padded bench seat along the back wall. A blueprint draft of the building was framed on the wall above. On the right wall sat a small secretaries desk. On the wall behind the desk there was an aerial photograph of the ‘E” building in an especially gaudy gold frame. Beside the desk was a thick metal door. The door looked out of place and had no window or doorknob. As I looked around the room Chase had picked up the red phone beside the door marked in big black letters “Dial 0”.
“Keller, Chase” he stated.
He hung up and moments later a small buzzer sounded and the door opened. He gestured me inside