The Dead Have Hair

I didn't plan on stylin no dead ladie’s

hair when I went to beauty school. There wasn't

no course on it or nothin. Us girls talked bout

it cause the teacher said somebody might ask us

to do it some day. We all thought it was gross

an swore we'd never touch no dead lady, no matter

how much they paid us. All we wanted to do was

fix em up pretty for prom an weddins and glamour

stuff like that.

But when I got the beauty job at the old folks

home them ladies was real particular bout their

hair. They didn't want no stranger doin it for

the ever life. They started askin me an I said

no, no mam. But seein em all sad bout it,

wonderin how they was gonna look, I couldn't just

do that to em. I wasn't sure, but I started

tellin em I'd style it. That's when they come up

with the envelopes. Each of em gave me one with

their name on it an how they wanted their hair

done an the money. I kept em up on the shelf, an

at first they made me feel queasy cause every

time I looked up there I knew what it meant. It

relieved them ladies to no end, knowin I'd be

there when they passed. The envelope wasn't even

good enough for some of em. They went on an made

sure it said it right in their livin will. After

the DNR thing, it was 'Bonnie does my hair'.

I was real nervous when Mrs. Bainbridge died,

cause she was the first. Mr. Shelios from the

funeral home rang me up an told me when they was

gonna lay the body out. He was real rude too

bout makin sure I was on time an not to forget

nothin. I didn't for the life of me know why he

was that way an then one a them old ladies told

me bout how he got this kinda arrangement worked

out with Charlene from City Salon. She's the one

does the dead ladies hair when there ain't no

special request. I guess Charlene would charge

the family more than a regular style an give Mr.

Shelios a cut. He didn't like me doin em cause

he knew I wasn't gonna give him no cut. Wasn't

no way I was gonna do that. Ask me, that's like

robbin from the dead. You ain't no better en

common criminals you do that. An it really

burned me up too cause I know it was Charlene did

up Momma's hair all funny when she died. An I

know she robbed Momma the same. But we didn't

know the insurance stuff real good an Daddy

couldn't read proper to understand all them

charges. He just signed at the end and Mr.

Shelios took the check.

I was on time an remembered all my stuff an I was

real scared like when I saw how they had Mrs.

Bainbridge laid out with a sheet over her an only

her forehead an hair showin. I was hopin Mr.

Shelios would stay with me but he was all rude

again an told me not to make no mess an left. It

wasn't anything like how he was to you when he

was buryin your kin. I got out my curlers an

pins an combs an my bottle a hair spray. Mrs.

Bainbridge liked tight curls combed together like

most of em like to wear it done. I stood there

for a long time before I could touch her. In

class they said how the dead ladies will twitch

sometimes cause their muscles don't die like

right when they do. I was real scared Mrs.

Bainbridge would twitch an I would scream an Mr.

Shelios would come in an git on me bout bein a

baby. Finally I just had to start. I combed her

hair out, holdin the comb at the tips of my

fingers so I wouldn't touch her. But it didn't

work real good, so I had to comb it normal. My

knuckles would touch her scalp an I would kinda

shiver, but I did it. I set those curlers an

tried to think what a nice lady Mrs. Bainbridge

was, cause she was a real sweetheart. They said

dead ladies hair got all dry but hers was bout

how it always was. I got the curls rolled

together real pretty an I put a lot of hair spray

on, cause I wanted it to hold tight so her family

could see her lookin real nice. I cleaned up

good too an went an told Mr. Shelios I was done.

He looked it over an thanked me for comin down,

but it wasn't no real thank you. An then I left.

My boyfriend Sean an my sister Tonya, we all live

in the house together. We was able to pay it off

with the money from when Daddy died. They was

waitin for me when I come home, waiting to hear

what it was like. I played all cool an told em

it wasn't no big thing. But then when Sean and I

was layin in bed I told him the truth an how I

was real scared but that I wanted to act all

brave for Tonya. She needs someone brave to look

up to since our folks is dead an the rest of the

family mostly just drinks. Sean said that was

real nice of me an he was all sweet bout it.

This was before he started workin at the plant an

actin like a jerk

It got a lot easier after that first one but Mr.

Shelios ain't got no nicer. When one of the

envelope ladies dies he calls me up an tells me

when she'll be layed out, just like Mrs.

Bainbridge. I open up her envelope before time,

just so I don't have no surprises. Sometimes

they want their hair nothin like they wore it

when they was with us. Some ladies want it all

colored dark again so I got to call up Mr.

Shelios an tell him I gotta have her by the

sink. He don't like that one bit cause Charlene

would never do that. But I don't care no more

what he thinks cause I figured out he's gotta

keep the families happy or he ain't got no

business. If the families know how the hair

should be, it's gotta be that way. So whatever I

need to do my work, he helps me.

Some ladies leave me little notes in their

envelopes telling me how nice I was to them when

they was around an how it helped em. An it ain't

always the kind ones that leave you the notes

neither. Some of them ladies was just plain mean

to me an then leave me a note sayin how sorry

they was an that they just didn't have nobody to

visit em an it made em rotten to all of us. Then

I'm sad an I try to do a real good job so maybe

they look glamorous when they're layin there,

like they was the kind that always had menfolk

round pesterin an was busy entertainin till the

minute they died. I don't like to think they

spent most a their time watchin game show an that

ther'd just be a few of their family at the

funeral. But sometimes I can't help it.

Every now an then one of em will leave me a real

nice tip or some kind a gift. I used to tell

Sean about it but he always wanted to spend the

money on some damn thing for the car. I didn't

think them ladies woulda wanted that, so I

stopped tellin him. This one lady even left me

five hundred dollars. Her second husband

invented some kind of surgery thing, so she had

it to spend. She always told me to marry up or

save money for a rainy day. I took it to the

bank an told em I wanted to put it away for

good. They tried to get me to buy some kind of

fancy investor thing, but I didn't trust em. I

just put it in a savings account and told em I

didn't want to touch it until I was ready to quit

stylin. I think she would a been proud of me. I

even added a little to it, but I ain't told Sean

or Tonya. They don't got no sense when it comes

to that stuff. Niether of em knows nothin bout

payin the bills or taxes even though they both

works. I try hard to figure it out for us but I

still don't get em right every time an we git

them mean notes in the mail and them people

callin on the phone.

I only ever went one time to see a lady at the

visitin. I made Sean come with me cause I was

real nervous. Momma's visitin was the only other

one I been to so I didn't know nothin bout it.

It was Mrs. Chambers an she had a big family an

was real nice so there was a big crowd. Sean an

me walked up to see her an I knew it was a

mistake as soon as we done it cause it was real

like Momma's. I was rememberin too much an was

all bout ready to cry so I turned round quick and

headed out. Mrs. Seaver grabbed me on the arm as

I was goin an then she took me by the hand an

told me how nice Mrs. Chambers hair looked an how

much she didn't even look like she was dead an

all. She was holdin my hand the same way Mrs.

Chambers used to an Mrs. Seaver was one of them

envelope ladies too and so it was like a dead

lady holdin my hand and it made everything way

worse. I thought I was gonna freak out right

there. I thanked her an stuff and then left as

quick as I could. We got in Sean's car an I

cried all the way home cause it was too much an I

swore I'd never go to no more.

Sean used to pick me up from the old folks home

an drive me to Mr. Shelios place when I had an

envelope lady to do, but now I gotta walk cause

he's workin at the plant and don't got time for

it. He wouldn't do it no more anyway cause he

tells em all he don't like me doin it an he'd be

a liar if they saw him droppin me off. He was

dumb enough to tell them guys bout it in the

first place. All they did was raz him after

that, saying stuff bout how he better not let me

touch his cock after I do one of them ladies else

it might die and fall off. I told him there

ain't one of them's got shit for brains an he

oughta ignore em, but he ain't that kind a guy no

more. Every time now I get home from Mr.

Shelios' he gets up from the couch an makes me

stand at the kitchen sink an scrub my hands with

some a that orange germ soap. He watches an

makes sure I scrub real good like one of them

doctors on TV, rubbin in tween each finger an

round each knuckle an all the way up to my

elbows. I'm sure he probably told them guys at

the plant bout the all the way up to the elbows

part cause that's the kind a jerk stuff he does

nowadays. I oughta kick him out but I keep

thinkin maybe he'll quit the plant an get back to

bein nice like he used to. I wanna have a baby

too. I told Sean we don't gotta get married or

nothin, but he don't wanna do it. If Daddy was

still with us he'd a made us git married even

before Sean moved to the house. But I guess that

don't matter now. I'd love a cute little baby an

Tonya could take care of it while I was at work.

Maybe if she got my baby to take care of she

won't be havin one of her own.

I try an git her to go with me to the graveyard

to see Momma an Daddy but she ain't never gone.

I pick some flowers from the ditches on the way

there an put em on the ground an make sure the

markers ain't grown over. I bring out my

scissors an cut away all the grass an weeds

around them plaques. I even dig the dirt out a

bit so them gold corners still show. I wanted to

get one a them pretty stone markers but Mr.

Shelios said there weren't no money for that. He

sold us them plaques like most people got round

here. They don't take too good care a the

graveyard an some people's get grown over. I

seen some families come out to visit their kin an

they can't even find em. The old ladies get real

upset, thinkin they lost their husbands forever.

The kids look real sad too, like they know they

ain't good kids no more even though it ain't

really their fault. If

they find em, a few of em come over an borrow my

scissors, but they don't look too proud bout it.

Tonya wouldn't even come out for Daddy's burial

cause a what happened at Momma's. I can't blame

her. It's bad enough they take your Momma, but

then they dress her up all queer like somebody

she ain't. When we was walkin up to the casket

Tonya had to ask me if that was our Momma. That

just broke her all up that she don't even know

her own dead Momma. They had a bunch a make up

and stuff on her an Momma never wore none a

that. Then they had her hair all curled up on

top her head like it was some sleepin cat.

Momma's hair was beautiful an hung down real

long. She loved to sit in front her mirror an

brush it out over an again. She'd curl it in big

loopy curls that hung down an was real pretty.

When she was layin in the hospital Tonya an me

would brush her hair an curl it every day, even

at the end when she didn't know nothin or no

one. Them nurses told us it was in the way an

they was gonna cut it but we set to such fits

then the doctor had to get called. He promised

he wouldn't let em. We made it real pretty an I

know she would a wanted it like that for her

visitin. If she'd been there she woulda had em

spread it all out curly on the pillow an hang it

way down so it covered her shoulders.

Tonya was real young an didn't understand all

about the service an the burial an she had a

panic when the preacher was done at the graveyard

and we all got to leavin. She tugged on me hard

an asked "What's goin on?" I told her it was all

done an we had to go back to the church for

supper, but that didn't make no sense to

her. "We can't leave her here. We can't leave

Momma." I told her they was gonna put her in the

ground an we had to let em, but she didn't hear

none of it. She got all excited right away like

an went by the casket an started screamin "We

can't leave Momma! I won't leave ya Momma!".

Daddy had to pick her up an put her in the car an

she was all punchin him an tryin to squirm away.

Mr. Shelios an the gravediggers an the relatives

just stood there watchin. She was all the time

screamin "Momma I won't leave ya Momma!". Even

when Daddy got her in the back of the car she

pushed way up in the back window. She was cryin

an cryin an screamin "We can't leave Momma!

Momma! Momma!"

But we ain't never really had no choice. Them

damn rusty cars bounced us back down the hill.

We followed that shiny car all in a line an

turned on the road to town. We had to leave

her. An we did.