My Prayer

“Lord, it’s me again; I know that it has been too long. I can explain.”

“Hello. It has been a while, about three months since you last prayed.”

“Lord, forgive me. After all of the trials that I just have gone through, I was scared to pray.”

”Didn’t I see you through each one? Didn’t I take care of you and the children? Why were you scared to pray?”

“That is very difficult for me to talk about; I don’t want to blame anyone. I know that in the end, I am the only one responsible for my relationship with you.”

”Let’s start by you remembering each trial of the last year and how I made sure that you were taken care of every time.”

“Ok, I guess I can try. First was when my husband left. Lord, my heart broke when he said that he didn’t want to be a husband anymore. But when he said that he didn’t want anything to do with our three little girls, it was almost more then I could bare. I just didn’t understand. That night you let me fall on my knees and you held me until I went to sleep.”

”Do you remember what happened next?”

“The fire.”

”Before that.”

“I almost forgot. Under a stack of his papers, I found a foreclosure notice and suddenly realized why he said that I could keep the house. I only had ten days and no way of getting that kind of money. I felt so foolish at having trusted him to pay the bills. Then you sent an angel of mercy. With a tender heart and gentle nature she comforted me and then to my surprise gave me my house back. She paid the balance due and expected nothing back in return. She said that it was a gift.”

”Now, the fire.”

“Oh Lord, that was painful to go through. I had put the girls to bed and went to relax at the computer in my room. I turned the lights down and lit a candle. It was then that I heard the dryer at the other end of the house. I got up and checked the girls to make sure that they were sleeping. I noticed my little one, at two and a half, still up. So I picked her up and off we went to fold laundry. About fifteen minutes later, much to my horror, I smelled something burning. My middle child of four years old was sitting on the end of the bed with her arms out frozen, staring at the fire that was consuming the center of the bed. I grabbed her so hard that I think I knocked the wind out of her, swooped my little one up with my other arm, and plopped them in the front yard. Running back in the house, I grabbed the phone and dialed 911. The fire had completely taken over my bedroom by that time. I ran past, feeling the heat against me, into my oldest daughter’s room. She was sound asleep. The next thing I know, the lady on the other end of the phone was yelling at me to get out, but my daughter wouldn’t wake up. I quickly snatched her up, blanket and all. I hesitated at her door, since the fire was beginning to work its way into the hall. I looked down at her beautiful face, covered her with the blanket, and ran until we made it to the front door. Then I heard her precious voice, “Mommy” she said in a sleepy confusion “what are you doing?” I had to grin. Once I reached the outside, I saw the neighbors had gathered and were watching the scene unfold. The paramedics checked the girls over carefully; not a burn anywhere on them or their pajamas. You, Lord, saved my family. Thank you for protecting my babies. The paramedics gave me some oxygen and wanted me to go with them. I refused. The girls were frightened enough without me leaving in an ambulance.”

”And how did I provide for you after the fire? Do you remember?”

“The outpouring of love from the people in the community was amazing. They provided clothes, food, and even toys for the girls. Then we moved into a hotel for a while. The staff was amazing. Somehow the leftovers from breakfast always made it into the room. We didn’t have to worry about food.”

”When you lost your job I looked after you. I will always take care of you.”

“Thank you so much, I don’t deserve any of it.”

“I kept you safe through the car accident too, and many other times that you will never even know about.”

“The car accident was something. I was driving about 60 mph on the interstate when I hit a patch of ice. It sent the car spinning into the concrete barrier. The car was totaled. The air bag hit me in the chest. I was hurt fairly bad and had to go to the hospital. But the girls were perfect, with the exception of a bloody lip from the cell phone flying back and hitting my middle daughter. The emergency squad was shocked that there weren’t much more severe injuries, given how the car looked. You took care of us once again.”

“The days following the accident were rough. I tried to comfort the girls who, just like I had, lost everything in four months. But it was too painful to hug them. I did anyway.”

”It was after that when you stopped praying. Why?”

“People kept telling me that there must be some horrible, unconfessed sin in my life. I prayed and you comforted me. I asked if there was anything that I had done that had caused this. You didn’t answer”

”Are you listening to yourself? I protected you and watched out for you. Why do you question?”

“Because Lord I kept praying and praying and didn’t hear.”

”You didn’t listen. Be still and know that I am God.”

“But Lord”

”Be still and know that I am God.”

“Ok Lord I’ll listen.”

”I knew you before you were born. I have a plan for you, a plan to prosper you and not to harm you. A plan for a hope and a future. You do not need to know all of the reasons for what I have done. I have given you trials to prepare you. Don’t you remember when you read, ‘we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him.’ Now do you understand? I don’t just randomly beat down my children for some unknown sin. I am preparing you and making you stronger for the future.”

“I’m so sorry that I doubted. I let other people begin to tell me what to believe. I know just to trust in You and in Your Word.”

”Now go to sleep and remember I will never leave you or forsake you. You are my child and no one can take you away from me.”

“Thank you Lord, good night. Amen.”