This week: Self Love for the Main Character Edited by: Dawn Embers  
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Romance/Love Newsletter by Dawn
A reminder to consider the main character in how they need to focus in part on themselves in order to accept or find their love interest. |
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If you can't love yourself, how can you love someone else? While it's a bit of a cliché with a number of different sources making a similar point, it is a concept that has merit in not just our lives but also in romance stories. The main focus of the story might be the character trying to find/experience love for another person but we can't forget how they might feel about themselves. Internal conflict can be a very useful when it comes to the romance/love genre and can make for an interesting story in particular for such a genre that focuses on an internal feeling like that of love.
There are a few different approaches you can take and things to consider in relation to the character's own thoughts or how they feel about themselves.
Some questions to ask about the character:
Are they consciously trying to find love?
Are they aware of their own self worth?
Do they struggle with loving themselves?
How does the love interest influence the character's self value?
Let's look at one in particular. Is the character aware of their own self worth? What does that even mean? In this context, let's consider it as to whether or not the character knows they struggle with loving themselves. Is it an issue and do they know about it? Whether they know or not, it can be a method of showing character development. In particular, if loving their self first is an issue, the reader will see the way the character grows/changes through the story if it's something that comes to light. As the character finds their own self worth/love, there can be that shift in perspective with the prospect of being in love with the other person too.
If the main character is aware that they struggle with finding love for themselves, then it can be a struggle of how are they going to change that view. Most, if in this world, probably have heard the mantra over and over about needing to love themselves. Yet so many people struggle with self-doubt and issues that even knowing the need for such doesn't make it an easy concept to achieve. Others can help, such as the love interest, because they can give the character some ideas outside themselves of their worth but they can't be the only source. There has to be somewhere that internal light bulb that can flash on to showcase something to bring the character to a better place with their self views.
When you work on the characters for your romance story, consider questioning everyone's concept of self love but make sure to focus on the main character in particular. Will they struggle and how will that affect the story? Consider, plot a little, ask some questions if you talk to your characters, then... write and find out.
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Never ask someone to like you back just because you like them.
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A short prose about a girl who loved a boy more than she loved herself. He was her Sun.
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Does your main character struggle with finding love for their own self? Does that get in the way of finding love from others?
Last time with this newsletter, I discussed the issue of trust. Here are a couple of comments sent in response to that newsletter:
Comment by Quick-Quill 
I'm working on a plot idea about a cop who is looking for a killer. He meets a reformed prostitute. At first she gives him information. They form a relationship. He's protective of her because he sees she's not what she was, but society won't accept her change. It will cause problems toward the end (I've not got that far) It's not misunderstanding, it's a trope. She pushes him away for his own sake, blah blah but even though we know it will work out we still love it when it happens then resolves.
- Interesting. And true, even if we get the general idea it's going to work out as a love story, we still like to read how it comes about.
Comment by BIG BAD WOLF is Howling 
Well, when one is dealing with members of different species, especially if one species is known to be a predator of the other, trust is very important.
- True. There are definitely particular pairings that might require more of an emphasis on trust, like the predator/prey types, which are valid both for different species and for in the same depending on the characters and story.
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Romance/Love: November 13, 2019 Issue [#9866]
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