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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/8727-We-Dont-Want-To-But-We-Have-To.html
Noticing Newbies: January 24, 2018 Issue [#8727]

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Noticing Newbies


 This week: We Don't Want To, But We Have To
  Edited by: Sara♥Jean Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

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Word from our sponsor



Letter from the editor

We Don't Want To, But We Have To

How sometimes the problems I face in my work world can relate to the problems I face in my writing world.


There was a time when my boss used to tell me that he didn't need any encouragement, he knew he was fine and awesome, but if I needed it, then he'd tell me I was wonderful as much as I needed. I told him that everyone needs to hear that they are amazing sometimes, because even if we know it, we forget sometimes. (He is notoriously hard on himself.) In more recent months - probably closer to the last year, he's caved and begun to realize this a bit, I think, and we have conversations back and forth rather effortlessly without even thinking about the responses. (We've been working together nearly 6 years.) It is half jesting, but halfway it reminds both of us that we depend on one another quite a lot and we need to be almost superhuman sometimes to do our jobs. Or, it feels that way, at least.

Boss: Because, you know, I'm perfect.
Me: Of course! Perfect in every way.
Boss: Because, I can do anything.
Me: Absolutely. You're Superman.


(This usually sarcastically after something silly happens, but I do tell him he is awesome more seriously all the time.)

And then, there's the other way around when we're building me up instead.

Me: I'll add it to my ever growing list of things to do.
Boss: Wonder Woman can do anything!
Me: I am Wonder Woman! Where is my cape?
Boss: Superfluous.
Me: No. All superheroes need capes. Or chocolate. One of the two.


I work remotely, so no chocolate or capes for me, but you get the idea.

So, when I titled this newsletter, I bet you were thinking I was going to talk about tasks we had to do at work and gripe and complain. But I'm not.

The fact is... we all need to hear we are good and amazing sometimes. We don't want to have to, but we need that boost. Even when we deny that we need that boost, we do. If we are working incredibly hard at something, and we never hear that we are doing it the way it is supposed to be done, or that we are doing a good job, by nature we are going to eventually look elsewhere to where we feel we are valued in our jobs. Those people that say that they find validation in themselves and they don't need anyone else's validation... they may be right, but I think deeeeeeeeep down inside, they'd like at least one person to tell them that they are great.

So! In our writing, it's very much the same. A lot of people write for themselves. And then we come to websites like this where people post their writing for others to see. That's an intense feeling! Especially if it's the first time for people to do that. They're putting themselves out there. So, there are some really important things you should do when you are taking a look at people's writing.

1. Be Honest - If you are overly nice, but that means you are being in-genuine, you aren't helping anyone. If you don't like what you are reading, you should tell them, but do so in a nice and helpful way that will help them improve the story so you will like it the next time you read it. Tell them how to improve it. If you do like it, tell them, and tell them why you like it. But don't tell someone you like something if you hate it. It doesn't help them improve.

2. Be Kind - Remember that their writing is very personal. It takes a lot to post something that personal to a website for scrutiny. You can tell someone you don't like something without being a jerk. And you can tell someone they are amazing without being creepy.

3. Give Feedback, If You Have Time - Don't think your opinion doesn't matter. It does. If you took the time to read it, then your opinion is valuable and matters enough for someone to hear back from you. They'll thank you for it.


Alright, go out there, and spread the *Heart*! We don't want to admit that we need it, but we have to. We all need the love, so if we share it, maybe, just maybe, we'll get some back.


Editor's Picks

Don't forget to leave these new members some feedback!

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#2146868 by Not Available.


 The Trip Open in new Window. (ASR)
Musings on the inner machinations of an often addled mind...
#2146863 by SandFly86 Author IconMail Icon


 Perception Open in new Window. (E)
A Chapter from my new Novel, Fear
#2146841 by DMLANGEL1101 Author IconMail Icon


 Party time Open in new Window. (13+)
Look at the first and last sentence
#2146804 by Luci Garden Author IconMail Icon


 Just tell me if that day Open in new Window. (E)
You looked back while walking away from me
#2146739 by sarangbrahme Author IconMail Icon


 Challenged Open in new Window. (E)
Seen; while hiding
#2146737 by CC Author IconMail Icon


 My First Love  Open in new Window. (E)
First Love is hard. Doesn’t always end well.
#2146732 by Bella Taylor Author IconMail Icon

 
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Ask & Answer

Here are those who wrote into "Noticing Newbies Newsletter (December 27, 2017)Open in new Window..

Lilli 🧿 ☕ Author Icon said, "Excellent newsletter! This for the first time ever, I am writing out my personal and writing goals! I bought an 8x10 frame which the sheet of goals will be housed and set on my desk. A daily reminder that I am working toward something!"

I love this idea! I hope you meet all of your goals this year! You will be able to look at them every day and see how you are doing. ~ SJ

vada Author Icon said, "Funny, I just made a list of this year's goals before catching up on my N/L's*Smile* My list is much longer than usual, but to break down the main points, the first 3 sets are geared to getting my Website up, the next is to revise and submit a novella(almost there), then hopes to complete revisions of a novel and enter contests. Enjoyed your newsletter, Sara Jean. Happy new year! Vada"

I wish you the best of luck! Those are some big goals, but definitely attainable! ~SJ

For this newsletter's question - Tell me some ways that you sometimes need encouragement with your writing. Sometimes it is good for others to feel they aren't alone, and the best way to know that, is to hear how sometimes others need encouragement, too. Please let me know in the comment box for the newsletter, and I'll be sure to include your comments in the next newsletter. Have a great month!

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