  Short Stories
This week: Yada Yada Yada Edited by: Shannon  
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Welcome to the Short Stories Newsletter. I am Shannon and I'm your editor this week. |
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Everyone has an opinion. There are the "You must follow the rules" writers and writers who say "Rules were meant to be broken." There are people who promote "Show, don't tell" while others say "It's okay to show and tell as long as you've got a happy medium." It can be overwhelming. To whom should one listen?
I think a lot depends on the story you're telling and whose point of view you're telling it from. It stands to reason that a first-person narrative might contain more telling than a third person narrative, and I'm more of a "Master the rules before you break them" kinda girl. After all, there are famous authors out there who make it their business to break all the rules. Just pick up anything by Cormac McCarthy and you'll see what I mean.
While it's wise to listen to those who have more experience and expertise, writers should also listen to themselves. Oftentimes others suggest things that just don't feel right. If your gut's saying, Whoa, slow down there, turbo. I really wouldn't cut that if I were you, then don't cut it. It is, after all, your story to do with as you please. But isn't the goal to get people to read and enjoy your work--to persuade them to come back for more? If all you're doing is writing to please yourself--and that's fine if that's what you want, but if you want the masses to read your work and all you're doing is writing to please yourself--you'll never have a loyal readership beyond Aunt Emma and Grandma Gentry.
I remind myself that the story belongs to the readers, not me. After I'm done writing and editing, I wash my hands of it. I'll probably never read it again, at least not for a very long time. It belongs to those who will read it, and I want to deliver something they'll love to lose themselves in. It's like the inventor who creates a product he thinks is pretty dang spectacular: if consumer America doesn't agree, he's stuck with a garage full of crap no one wants. Ultimately, the end product belongs to the consumer.
Give them what they want, and by this I mean if the overwhelming majority of reviewers suggest changing a particular section of your story--a line of dialogue or boring fight scene, change it. If most critiques say you're telling too much and not showing enough, rewrite. If people say they got bogged down in lengthy action sequences that drastically veered from the plot, edit. If your feedback constantly consists of, "You broke so many rules I got distracted and was no longer engaged," rectify.
Compromise doesn't necessarily mean copout. You can still say what you want to say, convey what you want to convey, in a way the reader will love. Give them what they want. Write with your audience in mind, and they will reward you for it.
Thank you for reading.
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Last month I challenged members to write a story of 2,000 words or less, and to make every word count. The winner would receive a Word Economy merit badge as well as a surprise gift. I received a total of five entries, and I enjoyed each and every one of them, but there can be but one winner. Without further ado, please join me in congratulating the winner, Elisa: Snowman Stik  for her story "Black Baccara." She not only received the MB, but a pretty black awardicon for her efforts. Congratulations, Elisa!
I hope you enjoy this week's featured selections. Please do the authors the courtesy of reviewing the ones you read. Thank you, and have a great week!
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The following is in response to "That Guy" :
Tileira  writes, "I'm more than a little tired of hearing the 'trim, trim, trim' advice. It is everywhere we turn and almost reads as though writers should feel guilty for making these poor readers endure our narrative. Yes, don't meander away from what you are meant to be doing. Everything should have a purpose and exposition should be done with a delicate hand. But it's got the point where I'm am being told over and over again 'you didn't explain this', 'you could have described this more', 'I feel I was missing something important'. You can't tell a story without using words. Using more words might not be more effective, but using too few results in something so sparse you can't call it a story."
I'm sorry you're tired of hearing the trim, trim, trim advice. If the editorial doesn't interest you it is always the reader's prerogative to hit the delete button and move on to the next newsletter.
As far as the subject of word economy goes, it is a legitimate topic for a writing newsletter, and considering WDC editors crank out 676 newsletters each year (13 newsletters every week for 52 weeks), it was bound to come up sooner or later. 
Some writers should feel guilty for making those poor readers endure their narrative. 
There is a delicate balance that must be reached (between too many and too few words), and you will never please everyone. My guideline is if it doesn't assist character development or further the story, cut it, but each writer must find their own happy medium and a method that works for her.
Thank you for reading and commenting. 
QueenOwl ~ A New Day Dawns  writes, "Hi, Shannon. Sounds like an exciting proposition. I'll get on with the project and see if I can submit my entry by the deadline."
Yes, indeedy! I received a good number of entries, but nothing from you. Maybe next time? I look forward to it! 
Elisa: Snowman Stik writes, "The timing of this newsletter amuses me, as I've been having lively discussions about getting detailed feedback. The example you provided is the exact kind of thing I need but have struggled to find lately. I'm actually at the point where I would take both the 'Look, I'm not dazzled by your Mastery of the thesaurus...' and the 'Have you considered cutting the Lake Hazel scene?' approaches rolled into the same review. Admittedly, my latest 'short' stories have ended up in novelette territory, but the most feedback I've received on those stories indicates people wanting more to be said.  Considering I'm trying to shorten my works a bit, that's not helping all that much. If an impartial observer could suggest to me what to cut (and perhaps why they feel that way), it would make my life so much easier."
Exactly! When I'm looking for something specific like this I find reviewers who specialize in and prefer to do detailed, line-by-line, in-depth reviews. It costs me a few more gift points, but if that's the style I'm after it's definitely worth it. Good luck! 
aegreenfield writes, "I fear, though, that paring down my words will also omit too much information. I don't want to ramble, but I need to create a vivid image in the reader's mind."
This is where your writing friends come in handy. I like to post my stories on the review request page and ask for specific suggestions. If you're willing to fork over some gift points, browse through a few ports and offer to pay for a couple in-depth reviews. WDC members have been most kind and helpful when I needed it most. 
Osirantinous Capricornus  writes, "I must admit that I initially write in 'that guy' mode for my novels. But when I edit them, I pretend I'm stuck to a word limit and sometimes I can shave over a thousand superfluous words of waffle from a chapter. And if I'm not satisfied, I'll lower my word limit and have another go. Don Roff's way makes sense, too, and I might try it next time - if I can manage to pretend I'm not the author :)"
Exactly! I can edit a piece three times and find something new to cut each time. The key for me was learning how to detatch myself from the words themselves because, ultimately, the story belongs to the readers, not me. Keeping that in mind makes the slicing and dicing so much easier.
Joto-Kai  writes, "Found myself struggling to rescue a bon-mot. It was exactly how my character would think. It was essential to give this information in order to cast her character in the proper light - not innocent, but not without reason. Trouble was, it took an essay to make the six words ('the debt of blood and silver') intelligible. Instead of that, I wrote a small scene where she argued with her second in command. I was able to encapsulate her motive quite clearly: 'Because I hate to throw children at the enemy — even if they are old enough to be my father.' Did I 'Murder my darling?' Hardly... it still exists, in my memory and in her vocabulary. It still encapsulates her philosophy of war, her own self image, and the relationship between her and her employer, the Duke. It just isn't at the beginning of my book, trying to make the reader's head swim. That's an excision I can live with."
So true! Sometimes we fall in love with the way something sounds (I know I have) and just can't bring ourselves to part with it. I've found creating a separate document just for excised words/sentences/phrases (somewhere to put them for safe keeping and potential use elsewhere) makes the process less painful. 
brom21 writes, "In response to this issue of Short Stories, I want to know when it is needed to go into detail. What situations call for a narration of the surroundings? Many stories I’ve come across begin like 'The man with brazen eyes and black hair clutched his prey with his behemoth muscles as the man he was strangling had horrific, glazed over eyes full of fear.' One thing I have heard a lot from reviewers is that I need to go into detail about what my characters look like, what they are thinking and have their emotions described. Where do I draw the line?"
That excerpt is hilarious (and ridiculous).
I read a lot of books, at least one per week, and I don't like my characters overly described--just give me the basics and let my imagination fill in the blanks. Oftentimes I've already created a picture of what I think the character looks like in my mind only to have the author intrude after the fact by describing what she looks like down to the heart-shaped mole on her bottom lip, and it ruins it for me--sucks me right out of the story. I'm no longer engaged. I think if you're going to do it, do it early--before the reader has time to create an image in his or her mind.
Too much description is annoying, distracting, and disrupts the story's flow. By all means, describe if said descriptions pertain to and further the story, like mentioning someone's short stature before having it affect the story in some way later on.
When it comes to characters' thoughts, reserve them for character development or to move the story forward. Otherwise they're extraneous filler. You have a little leeway when penning a novel, but you don't have the luxury when writing short stories.
As far as emotions go, nothing engenders a sympathetic reader like identifying with a character's emotions. Readers want to feel something, and feelings are evoked by emotion.
Editor Arlene Prunkl says, "There’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling, as long as you learn how to do it well. After all, stories have been told for millennia. We use the term storytelling, not storyshowing." Her blog entry "Why 'show, don’t tell' is the big myth of fiction writing" is eye-opening. You can read it in its entirety here .
Here is an excerpt I just had to share because it demonstrates how beautiful telling can be when done properly:
I was fine until he slid his hand over mine as I passed the jar of shine back to him. Once he touched me, it was all over. I lost my virginity that night and so did Cole, the two of us fumbling at each other until we got the job done. I don't think either of us was very impressed. I had brought myself more satisfactory pleasure alone at night--a pleasure I'd never associated with boys. But the intensity of how badly I had wanted it stunned me. We were suddenly shy and sober afterward, the booze sponged up by our amazement at what we had done.
The next day, I waited for God to strike me down. I thought I would feel bad, but I didn't. I felt relieved that the first time was over. I was curious to try it again, to get a better look at Cole. The barnyard can take some of the mystery out of the mechanics of the act, but a man is not a hog, a bull, or a stallion, though some do aspire to be one of the three.
A week later, Cole was back at my door. He had flowers again, but no shine, and asked in a shy, sweet whisper if we could try "it" again. There had been no punishment from God, so, being curious about both God and Cole, I said yes.
After that, he would wait until dark fell and cut across the pasture instead of coming up the road. For the first time in my life, I made a conscious decision to sin and continue sinning.
~ The Enchanted Life of Adam Hope by Rhonda Riley
I hope this helps! 
Ozmosis  writes, "I had a question regarding action sequences. How much detail is necessary to makes a good fight scene? I do not believe going into details and explaining every blow is necessary, but how much information do we give to get the sense of excitement through to the reader?"
Ooh, good question! And for the record, I am a huge UFC/MMA fan. I've been watching since the early 90s--way before they became mainstream popular, so I know my fights. They may not fight to the death, but UFC/MMA fighters really are modern-day gladiators. Sometimes the fights are difficult to watch (it can get pretty bloody, and you'll occasionally see a horrific injury), but it's unlike anything you'll see anywhere else. So, what do I think makes a good fight scene?
 The opponents should be equal, or as close to equal as possible. If they're not equally matched it'll be a one-sided butt kicking which equals sad and boring.
There's nothing worse than a boring fight. I hate watching one opponent lay on top of the other (usually fighters with a wrestling backgroound) for three freaking rounds (UFC fights consist of three 5-minute rounds, unless it's a title fight or main event, in which case there are five 5-minute rounds). I paid $50 for this PPV event, and I want to see some action. How about a standing guillotine, maybe a front kick to the solar plexus. Throw in some dirty boxing with a few short elbows, some inside leg kicks, a Kimura or a rear naked choke ... now we're talking! Fast-paced trumps slow and boring any day, which means you must craft your sentences carefully (long detailed sentences slow the pace while short, clipped sentences speed things up, make things exciting and entertaining.
If your fight scene takes place in the real world, the fight scene should be realistic! If you don't know what I mean, watch the difference between a WWE match and a UFC title fight.
I'm a firm believer in not insulting the reader's intelligence. Empower them (and ingratiate yourself) by giving them and their imaginations some credit. Less really is more. Reading is an escape. We readers want to use our imaginations, but some authors make the mistake of filling in all the blanks for us as opposed to allowing us to do it ourselves.
I came across a great article I thought you might like titled 5 Essential Tips for Writing Killer Fight Scenes .
For those of you who are interested in writing mixed martial arts fight scenes but really don't know the lingo, here's a glossary for you. Hope it helps! 
vada writes, "Great Newsletter, Shannon. I appreciate the reminders."
Aw, thank you! I'm glad you liked it. 
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Short Stories: February 25, 2015 Issue [#6842]
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