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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/6041-That-Show-Dont-Tell-Thing-Again.html
Short Stories: December 11, 2013 Issue [#6041]

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Short Stories


 This week: That "Show, Don't Tell" Thing Again
  Edited by: Jay's debut novel is out now! Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

This Short Stories Newsletter is dedicated to readers and writers of short fiction and to those who want to know more about the art of telling big stories in small spaces.

This month:
That "Show, Don't Tell" Thing Again
It's not what you think it is: some thoughts on a common and easily-misinterpreted piece of writing advice.


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Letter from the editor

So. "Show, don't tell," that old chestnut of writing advice.

What does it actually mean? I feel like a lot of writers, new and seasoned alike, don't have a really solid grasp of what this phrase actually means. The interpretation is usually taken to mean: description should be applied in story action. While this is definitely better than dry delivery, it's still sort of off. Technically speaking, "show, don't tell," isn't actually about description at all.

Recently my writer's group had a conversation about this tendency to attribute show and tell to description, after reading a well-intentioned but inarticulate (and ultimately, not helpful) article on Reddit where someone helpfully tried to explain how to "show, versus tell" by -- you guessed it -- demonstrating ways to cram description into more active phrasing.

From the Twitter feed of editor Nick Mamatas, a few weeks ago:
Here's a writing tip: show means demonstrate, not describe. Tell means declare, not describe.


I feel like this is the best shorthand description of the correct meaning of this phrase, as it applies to our writing. Based on the above information, a better way to explain "Show, don't tell" might be to say, "Always try to demonstrate something within the story, rather than using declarations, when it's relevant to the story."

Here's an example of this principle in action:
Hank was one of the meanest boys I'd ever met. He always said rotten things to the rest of our scout troop.

versus:
Hank spat in my face. "Get out of here, you stupid baby-- run home and cry to your mommy."


-- which of these two-sentence situations gives the reader a stronger sense of Hank's cruelty? The second statement allows the reader the opportunity to figure out Hank for oneself, which allows the reader a much greater involvement in the process of reading your story. It doesn't take much in the way of "aha" moments for a reader to feel good that they've picked up the hints you're leaving for them in the storytelling.

I find that, like many other readers, I am really turned off by being told traits about a character-- I'd rather see the character perform the action than have to be told something that may or may not actually be true. In fact, sometimes I feel like the author is trying to force my perspective about a character or situation when what's demonstrated doesn't line up with what's merely declared. Both demonstration and declaration have their correct places, but when it comes to characterization and plot, it's hard to beat demonstration to show your readers you mean what you write.

How do you approach good demonstration in your own work? Can you think of an author you like who has good methods for this? (Keep it to short story authors, please, since this is the Short Stories newsletter!)

Until Next Month,
Take care and Write on!
~jay


Editor's Picks

Picks for this issue:

 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

 Cluck, Cluck, Cluck Open in new Window. [18+]
four angry chickens teach a cairn terrier a lesson
by Introvert Author Icon

 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

Recognition Delayed Open in new Window. [E]
It was December twentieth, nineteen-forty-four. The city was Bastogne.
by Bikerider Author Icon

 It's Too Late Open in new Window. [13+]
Detective Osborn interrogates a criminal, and learns of a dark secret soon to occur
by Sum1's In Seattle Author Icon

 
Behind The Door Open in new Window. [E]
Four curious students decide to enter an old deserted house. *Polished*
by gladiola Author Icon


User-submitted contest recommendation:
Roots & Wings Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Can you capture the essence of an ancestor in one story? CLOSED
by GeminiGem🐾 Author Icon




Don't forget to enter this month's official sitewide contest:
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Ask & Answer

Feedback from "Self Editing Quick TipsOpen in new Window.


Elle - on hiatus Author Icon writes:
You asked for quick editing tips for short stories. My suggestion is to check for white space. I'm notorious for not separating my dialogue, paragraphs, etc, so this is something I have to look for when doing a 'quick edit'. Thankfully this is something quick and easy to see, so long as you remember to look for it! *Laugh*

That's a great tip, especially for writing which is meant to be consumed online, where those paragraph breaks allow the eyes to rest a moment.


Tornado Dodger Author Icon writes:
Great advice! I can only imagine all the instances in my own writing I could find to edit following your advice. Terrific topic. *Thumbsup*

I love to hear that! *Thumbsupr* right back atcha!

Storm Machine Author Icon writes:
Pronouns! "It" can be especially troublesome for figuring out exactly which noun it replaces. He or she, if several characters of the same sex populate a scene are also worth revisiting.

Oh my. I do this waaaaaay too much myself. Great reminder!


☮ The Grum Of Grums Author Icon writes:
Not really a "fast and easy" but a word of warning in trying to be too fast and easy. DO NOT RELY SOLELY ON SPELLCHECKERS. They can be a real trap; I'm reviewing a piece at present that is full of "spell non-checking", ie words that are quite legitimate in their own right, but are wrong in context. A big trap.

I think this qualifies as fast and easy, at least as reminders go! It's a solid "anytime" reminder, really!



Joy Author Icon writes:
Great tips, Jay. *Smile*
Thanks for reminding us writers of the basics of editing.
Through carelessness, too many of us goof at the ground level and mess up a good idea.

Oh, definitely, Joy! I think this is one of the biggest things that hold us back as writers, especially when we get proficient enough to be self-examining.



Quick-Quill Author Icon writes:
I think this needs to be reissued in the Newbie newsletter. I have to remind myself to do this. I will take out "the" and "that" if I can get away with it.

Eliminating "that" as often as I can (I'm still hooked on it for explanatory purposes) really has been one of the single best "small" things I've done for my writing. Try it, for sure!



50's Child Author Icon writes:
These are very good reminders and good lessons I had forgotten from my long gone school days.
I have not written any short stories yet, but am working on one. I think when we write, it should be because we enjoy doing so, and then it is not like working on demand to complete the story. With no deadlines, the process works much better for me.

A fair point. For those of us who wish to publish in pro and semipro markets, meeting deadlines is sort of a necessary evil, especially if you want to participate in anthologies and other things with a time stamp on them, but sometimes a more leisurely pace is perfectly all right!



Odessa Molinari Author Icon writes:
My laptop forces me to edit as I go along. It's pretty clapped out and the keys stick. I type a sentence then I read it to check for missing letters. In doing so I also spot spelling/grammar/repeated words/passive verbs etc.

There's something to be said for working as you go, for sure!

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