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This week: That "Show, Don't Tell" Thing Again Edited by: Jay's debut novel is out now!  
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This Short Stories Newsletter is dedicated to readers and writers of short fiction and to those who want to know more about the art of telling big stories in small spaces.
This month:
That "Show, Don't Tell" Thing Again
It's not what you think it is: some thoughts on a common and easily-misinterpreted piece of writing advice. |
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So. "Show, don't tell," that old chestnut of writing advice.
What does it actually mean? I feel like a lot of writers, new and seasoned alike, don't have a really solid grasp of what this phrase actually means. The interpretation is usually taken to mean: description should be applied in story action. While this is definitely better than dry delivery, it's still sort of off. Technically speaking, "show, don't tell," isn't actually about description at all.
Recently my writer's group had a conversation about this tendency to attribute show and tell to description, after reading a well-intentioned but inarticulate (and ultimately, not helpful) article on Reddit where someone helpfully tried to explain how to "show, versus tell" by -- you guessed it -- demonstrating ways to cram description into more active phrasing.
From the Twitter feed of editor Nick Mamatas, a few weeks ago:
Here's a writing tip: show means demonstrate, not describe. Tell means declare, not describe.
I feel like this is the best shorthand description of the correct meaning of this phrase, as it applies to our writing. Based on the above information, a better way to explain "Show, don't tell" might be to say, "Always try to demonstrate something within the story, rather than using declarations, when it's relevant to the story."
Here's an example of this principle in action:
Hank was one of the meanest boys I'd ever met. He always said rotten things to the rest of our scout troop.
versus:
Hank spat in my face. "Get out of here, you stupid baby-- run home and cry to your mommy."
-- which of these two-sentence situations gives the reader a stronger sense of Hank's cruelty? The second statement allows the reader the opportunity to figure out Hank for oneself, which allows the reader a much greater involvement in the process of reading your story. It doesn't take much in the way of "aha" moments for a reader to feel good that they've picked up the hints you're leaving for them in the storytelling.
I find that, like many other readers, I am really turned off by being told traits about a character-- I'd rather see the character perform the action than have to be told something that may or may not actually be true. In fact, sometimes I feel like the author is trying to force my perspective about a character or situation when what's demonstrated doesn't line up with what's merely declared. Both demonstration and declaration have their correct places, but when it comes to characterization and plot, it's hard to beat demonstration to show your readers you mean what you write.
How do you approach good demonstration in your own work? Can you think of an author you like who has good methods for this? (Keep it to short story authors, please, since this is the Short Stories newsletter!)
Until Next Month,
Take care and Write on!
~jay |
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Feedback from "Self Editing Quick Tips"
Elle - on hiatus  writes:
You asked for quick editing tips for short stories. My suggestion is to check for white space. I'm notorious for not separating my dialogue, paragraphs, etc, so this is something I have to look for when doing a 'quick edit'. Thankfully this is something quick and easy to see, so long as you remember to look for it! 
That's a great tip, especially for writing which is meant to be consumed online, where those paragraph breaks allow the eyes to rest a moment.
Tornado Dodger  writes:
Great advice! I can only imagine all the instances in my own writing I could find to edit following your advice. Terrific topic. 
I love to hear that!  right back atcha!
Storm Machine writes:
Pronouns! "It" can be especially troublesome for figuring out exactly which noun it replaces. He or she, if several characters of the same sex populate a scene are also worth revisiting.
Oh my. I do this waaaaaay too much myself. Great reminder!
☮ The Grum Of Grums writes:
Not really a "fast and easy" but a word of warning in trying to be too fast and easy. DO NOT RELY SOLELY ON SPELLCHECKERS. They can be a real trap; I'm reviewing a piece at present that is full of "spell non-checking", ie words that are quite legitimate in their own right, but are wrong in context. A big trap.
I think this qualifies as fast and easy, at least as reminders go! It's a solid "anytime" reminder, really!
Joy  writes:
Great tips, Jay. 
Thanks for reminding us writers of the basics of editing.
Through carelessness, too many of us goof at the ground level and mess up a good idea.
Oh, definitely, Joy! I think this is one of the biggest things that hold us back as writers, especially when we get proficient enough to be self-examining.
Quick-Quill  writes:
I think this needs to be reissued in the Newbie newsletter. I have to remind myself to do this. I will take out "the" and "that" if I can get away with it.
Eliminating "that" as often as I can (I'm still hooked on it for explanatory purposes) really has been one of the single best "small" things I've done for my writing. Try it, for sure!
50's Child  writes:
These are very good reminders and good lessons I had forgotten from my long gone school days.
I have not written any short stories yet, but am working on one. I think when we write, it should be because we enjoy doing so, and then it is not like working on demand to complete the story. With no deadlines, the process works much better for me.
A fair point. For those of us who wish to publish in pro and semipro markets, meeting deadlines is sort of a necessary evil, especially if you want to participate in anthologies and other things with a time stamp on them, but sometimes a more leisurely pace is perfectly all right!
Odessa Molinari writes:
My laptop forces me to edit as I go along. It's pretty clapped out and the keys stick. I type a sentence then I read it to check for missing letters. In doing so I also spot spelling/grammar/repeated words/passive verbs etc.
There's something to be said for working as you go, for sure! |
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Short Stories: December 11, 2013 Issue [#6041]
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