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This week: HELP! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up! Edited by: Sophurky  
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HELP! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!
In my last newsletter I shared about WHY I live in the Midwest (to escape family holiday gatherings). This month I'll share about why I'm considering a move to a warmer climate, even if that means living closer to my belovedly annoying family.Speaking of my last newsletter, now that I think about it, I suspect what happened to me 10 days ago was karma. AKA my parents reaching over from the "other side" to metaphorically whop me upside the head for dissing the family. 
Mr. Sophy and I arrived early at our office before anyone else was there. There had been freezing rain the night before, but because our driveway and sidewalk were not icy, we determined that our office parking lot, less that two miles away, would also be ice-free. So we parked our car without a care in the world. I opened my car door as Mr. Sophy asked me to wait, saying he'd help me if it was icy. I looked down and it didn't look icy to me, so I told him I was fine, opened my car door, set one foot on the pavement, and felt it slide a bit. At this point a sane person would withdraw the foot, mention the ice to her spouse, and suggest he move the car somewhere less icy or come and help her. So is that what I did? Aw heck no!
I put one foot on the pavement, it slid a bit, so of course I put my other foot on the icy ground "to stabilize myself." Yes, that was the thought that went through my head. If one foot slides - put the other one down to "stabilize" oneself. Everyone knows that particular rule of physics, right? Um. Not so much. Instead of being stabilized and upright, I had the classic, cartoon-fall on ice. Both feet slid right out from under me - slip, whoooooooooosh, and BAM! And I was down, as my backside fell hard on that ice.
Mr. Sophy was on the other side of the car, also taking his first careful step onto what was in reality a sheet of ice. If I had not fallen, and in fact, allowed him to help me, this might not have happened. Or it would have happened, just with me falling on top of him instead of the ice, breaking my fall but possibly also breaking Mr. Sophy at the same time. But that is not what happened. What happened is that Mr. Sophy heard me go down, and in his rush to get out of the car, fearing I'd hit my head or broken something, he promptly fell on his side of the car.
So there we were, both down, on either side of our SUV, with no one around to help us. (Side note: Thank goodness no one was around to witness the fall. Of course that was the first thing I did when I came to my senses after I fell - looked around to see if anyone saw me fall. Luck was with me! Not even Mr. Sophy saw me fall - he just heard it.) It was cold, Mr. Sophy had the wind knocked out of him, and there was no way I was going to be able to get up without someone to help me.
But once again, Mr. Sophy came to my rescue, as he often does. He caught his breath, we both slid to the end of the large patch of ice, which was at the end of my vehicle. He got up and came over to me, and helped me stand up in a dry patch of pavement. Fortunately we were both okay - nothing broken, though my tailbone was pretty bruised and is still stiff and sore (but improving daily). And friends who arrived later pointed out how lucky it was neither of us put our hands back to break our falls or we'd surely have broken arms/wrists, etc. I'd like to say that's because we are wise and would never do such a thing as put our hands/arms behind us to break a fall. But it's more likely that we were both holding precious cups of coffee we couldn't bear dropping! 
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My mistake: through a door marked, "For Authorized Personnel Only."
#1912543 by Don Two  |
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Here are some responses to my last newsletter "Spiritual Newsletter (December 11, 2012)" about alternative holiday giving:
From k-9cooper:
very funny I don't have the funny drama you have but I get the enjoy PJ's on christmas with daisy. I too have a dog named Daisy. Also another dog named Lilly and a rabbit named Cheeks. This is who I like to spend my holidays with. OH almost forgot. Mrs. k-9cooper too.
Hope you had a lovely holiday with your furry friends, AND good ole Mrs. k-9cooper - glad you remembered her, lol!
   
From KerrieAnnS  :
Haha! Ah Christmas dinner, with too much food and wine, you can always expect a show - maybe it's the Brussels sprouts? After all they usually only venture out onto the table once a year.
Thanks for mentioning my poem! I highly recommend taking part in the Writers Cramp, great inspiration :D
"The Writer's Cramp" rocks! You are welcome for mentioning your poem, and please, explain the point of Brussels sprouts to me?
From LJPC - the tortoise :
Hi Sophy!
Thanks for sharing your holiday plans with us - or I should say lack of plans - to not be roped into a big family get-together. Sounds safer that way for everyone, including the mashed potatoes. Those poor things must have gotten very dizzy with all that circling the dinner table...
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you and your family! 
~ Laura
Same to you and yours, thanks so much! And no one got dizzy, they weren't paying attention, lol. Can't speak for the potatoes tho, good point. 
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky
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Comedy: January 22, 2013 Issue [#5474]
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