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Poetry: August 10, 2005 Issue [#547]

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Poetry


 This week:
  Edited by: Becky Simpson Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

         Have you ever wondered who the first person to write poetry might have been? Or what he wrote and what form it may have taken? Was it Cro-Magnon man, writing in flowing pictures representing the days hunt on his cave walls? It could have been a biblical character writing psalms to his God. Our study in this edition will be on a very old form of poetry. From the ancient civilization of Japan I have chosen one of the oldest forms of poetry – haiku, to be our subject. As we look at haiku, I will make a few offerings from the choicest Writing.Com poets to be found, and provide you with this week’s list of favorite poets. A few classic beauties will round out our lesson, and in closing I will answer the feedback from the last edition, listing the winners of the gift points. Becky Simpson Author IconMail Icon



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Letter from the editor

         Unlike ballads from last months newsletter haiku is very short and has a definite beginning. It may surprise you to learn that it is not old at all; indeed it is a relatively new form of poetry. Masaoka Shiki, near the beginning of the 20th century, revised the traditional Japanese hokku. In hokku the first verse is a series of linked verses. Shiki kept only the first verse, discarding the linked verse context. This hokku or "opening verse" originally consisted of three lines of approximately 5, 7, and 5 phonetic units (morae) which only loosely corresponded to syallables in English. Disappointed? Don’t be, haiku still has its beginnings from a long ago time.

         Hokku also contained a special season word — the kigo — descriptive of the season in which the haiku was set. Some say that a haiku must also combine two different images, be written in present tense, have a focus on description, and have a pause (the kireji or "cutting word") at the end of either the first or second line. All such rules are based in the Japanese language and literary tradition. Although rarely broken by Japanese haiku poets, haiku not written in Japanese are more likely to break one or more of these rules.

         If written out in hiragana, the syllabic Japanese alphabet, each of these morae will be represented by exactly one character, and indeed haiku are often written out in hiragana for aesthetic reasons. No discussion of haiku is complete without an understanding of its antecedent, hokku. The three great Japanese masters of the hokku form (sometimes anachronistically and confusingly called "haiku") were Matsuo Basho, Yosa Buson, and Kobayashi Issa; the creator and first major writer of the haiku form (initially, hokku separated from the old haikai no renga tradition) was Masaoka Shiki. Okay, Star Trek fans now we know the truth about Kirk’s manuver the no win situation.

         Anybody want a kimono? Okay, as mentioned above there are rules for writing haiku: Sigh, it is a very long list. Most of us just use the guideline that a haiku has to be about nature and must have a structure of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. Here are the rules I found:

         1. Seventeen syllables in one line.

         2. Seventeen syllables written in three lines.

         3. Seventeen syllables written in three lines divided into 5-7-5.

         4. Seventeen syllables written in a vertical (flush left or centered) line.

         5. Less than 17 syllables written in three lines as short-long-short.

         6. Less than 17 syllables written in three vertical lines as short-long-short.
              (Ala Barry Semegran)

         7. Write what can be said in one breath.

         8. Use a season word (kigo) or seasonal reference.

         9. Use a caesura at the end of either the first or second line, but not at both.

         10. Never have all three lines make a complete or run-on sentence.

         11. Have two images that are only comparative when illuminated by the third image.
                   Example: spirit in retreat / cleaning first the black stove / and washing my hands

         12. Have two images that are only associative when illuminated by the third image.                              Example: fire-white halo / at the moment of eclipse / I notice your face

         13. Have two images that are only in contrast when illuminated by the third image.                              Example: two things ready / but not touching the space between / fire

         14. Always written in the present tense of here and now.

         15. Limited use (or non-use) of personal pronouns.

         16. Use of personal pronouns written in the lower case. Example: i am a ...

         17. Eliminating all the possible uses of gerunds (ing endings on wording).

         18. Study and check on articles. Do you use too many the's? too little? all the same in                one poem or varied?

         19. Use of common sentence syntax in both phrases.

         20. Use of sentence fragments.

         21. Study the order in which the images are presented. First the wide-angle view,
               medium range and zoomed in close-up.

         22. Save the "punch line" for the end line.

         23. Work to find the most fascinating and eye-catching first lines.

         24. Just write about ordinary things in an ordinary way using ordinary language.

         25. Study Zen and let your haiku express the wordless way of making images.

         26. Study any religion or philosophy and let this echo in the background of your haiku.

         27. Use only concrete images.

         28. Invent lyrical expressions for the image.

         29. Attempt to have levels of meaning in the haiku. On the surface it is a set of simple                images; underneath a philosophy or lesson of life.

         30. Use images that evoke simple rustic seclusion or accepted poverty. (sabi)

         31. Use images that evoke classical elegant separateness. (shubumi)

         32. Use images that evoke nostalgic romantic images. Austere beauty. (wabi)

         33. Use images that evoke a mysterious aloneness. (Yugen)

         34. Use of paradox.

         35. Use of puns and word plays.

         36. Write of the impossible in an ordinary way.

         37. Use of lofty or uplifting images. (No war, blatant sex, or crime)

         38. Telling it as it is in the real world around us.

         39. Use only images from nature. (No mention of humanity.)

         40. Mixing humans and nature in a haiku by relating a human feeling to an aspect of                  nature.

         41. Designation of humans a non-nature and giving all these non-nature haiku another                  name.

         42. Avoid all reference to yourself in the haiku.

         43. Refer to yourself obliquely as the poet, this old man, or with a personal pronoun.

         44. Use no punctuation for ambiguity.

         45. Use all normal sentence punctuation

                   : = a full stop
                   ; = a half stop or pause
                   ... = something left unsaid
                   , = a slight pause
                   -- = saying the same thing in other words
                   . = full stop

         46. Capitalize the first word of every line.

         47. Capitalize the first word only.

         48. Capitalize proper names according to English rules.

         49. All words in lower case.

         50. All words in upper case.

         51. Avoid rhymes.

         52. Rhyme last words in the first and third lines.

         53. Use rhymes in other places within the haiku.

         54. Use alliteration.
                             Example by Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes: twitching tufted tail / a
                                       toasty, tawny tummy: / a tired tiger

         55. Use of words' sounds to echo feeling.

         56. Always end the haiku with a noun.

         57. Write haiku only from an "ah-ha" moment.

         58. Use any inspiration as starting point to develop and write haiku.
                             (These are known as desk haiku.)

         59. Avoid too many (or all) verbs.

         60. Cut out prepositions whenever possible; especially in the short 1/3 phrase.

         61. Eliminate adverbs.

         62. Don't use more than one modifier per noun. This use should be limited to the
                    absolute sense of the haiku.

         63. Share your haiku by adding one at the close of your letters.

         64. Treat your haiku like poetry; it's not a greeting card verse.

         65. Write down every haiku that comes to you. Even the bad ones. It may inspire
                   the next one which will surely be better.


         Basho one of the masters had a motto for those of you who have made it through the rules: "Learn the rules; and then forget them." But first he said, "Learn the rules." You can't physically follow all of these, because they conflict, but among them I would hope you'd pick a set just for you. Then write down your thoughts, impressions, and feelings while following your own rules. Remember we are all students.

          Here is a traditional haiku written long ago:


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         Do you understand it? Me either so maybe from here on out we ought to stick with English versions. Hokku is written about nature only haiku can have many subjects. The haiku above is on the grave of Yosa Buson. Now let’s look at one more example of a master’s work before we move on. This one is by Basho and includes a translation.

=== Furuike ya
======= Kawazu tobikomu
=== Mizu no oto
An old pond;
A frog jumps in --
the sound of water.

Another Basho classic reads:

The first cold shower;
Even the monkey seems to want
a little coat of straw.

(At that time, Japanese rain-gear consisted of a large, round hat and a shaggy straw cloak)

         Okay, that’s enough of that let’s take a look at what our own Writing.Com poets have come up with. Remember as we read these that it is not necessary to follow the rules. Unless of course you wish to attain perfection. Our first selection was written by Pita Author IconMail Icon. She has an interesting perspective:

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I.

Kangaroo dreaming
turquoise waters, briney foam
walkabout songlines.

II.

Calling, songs calling
beckoning you to the cleft,
deep in the dark past.

III.

Walkabout dreamtime
walking the songlines finding
faces of the past.

IV.

Gone walkabout, gone
paint the white lines on ochre
Uluru's calling.

V.

Uluru's calling
siren of red sand and stone
call me Uluru.


         Pita I would love to know what Uluru is. Care to share with the rest of us? The best I can make out it is a dessert perhaps. Lets look for some more, a quick search reveals hundreds of haiku. I have my work cut out for me. Okay here’s another.

This one is special you will see why great job Red Writing Hood <3 Author IconMail Icon

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Peppermint candy
Square-dancing with tingling tongue
Winter kiss in June





***Published on USAToday.com as a winner in their daily Haiku contest.***

***Featured in the Poetry Newsletter for 1/22/2003***

         That is an amazing example of haiku, I think just one more then we will close out the newsletter. Please pay attention to the list of suggested readings. The very best as rated by Writing.Com readers are included there. My last haiku selection is from one of my favorite authors.

Vivian Author IconMail Icon
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Steamy breezes stir
Summer heat across the land -
Dry, thirsty, parched.

Bravo Mom, (Viv is the sites mom) I think your haiku works perfectly under rule #12. Steamy and dry are exclusive of each other. Excellent haiku!


As my tip of the day:
Listen to the masters, don’t get hung up on rules. Some very beautiful creations have been shared that broke all the rules.

         I am always at your service.

         Becky L Simpson


Editor's Picks

The following members of Writing.Com are some of my favorite poets on Writing.Com. They exhibit and understanding and skill that, simply put, amaze me. I hope those I have forgotten will forgive me, but as time goes on and my memory prods, me this list will change.

Vivian Author IconMail Icon
reblackwell
Stormy Lady Author IconMail Icon
Theday Author IconMail Icon
Tornado Day Author IconMail Icon
wittyvixen
daycare



SUGGESTED READINGS:

I call these poets and poems works of the week. Some will be by cases of all colors, as skill is not determined by your case color. Just five or six poems I think you might enjoy.

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#820264 by Not Available.


I am in shadow Open in new Window. (E)
An oblique love verse, in extended haiku form
#722324 by deemac Author IconMail Icon


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#868753 by Not Available.


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#969265 by Not Available.




CONTESTS:

In this edition I wish to highlight two poetry contests. The first is our own newsletter contest. The first twenty answers this month will be awarded 1,000 gift points. You will also find within this section winners listed from previous newsletters.

The challenge for this edition is: Simply write me a haiku, send the link to me and remember there are 1,000 points for the first twenty readers to respond.

The second is sponsored by zwisis
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#972683 by Not Available.



Last Editions Winners:
n4kem

Each of these wonderful readers will receive 1000 gift points for their efforts.



 
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Ask & Answer

Questions and comments from last week, my thanks to those who wrote in:



Submitted By: InkyShadows Author IconMail Icon
Submitted Comment:
Becky,

Thanks for teaching me about the ballad. It is one of the poetic forms of which I am most afraid to try. But, after your discourse here on them, I just may suck it up and get brave enough to try my hand at one...however, I still may be too insecure about it to ever show anyone the results.



Aren’t we all insecure? I often wonder why I write these newsletters. They expose me for what I am an insecure amateur writer and poet. If we let our fears stop us from trying and from seeing others reactions we will never be what we wanted to be. - Becky



Submitted By: n4ekm Author IconMail Icon
Submitted Comment:
Dear Becky,
I enjoy your newsletters. The information you provide challenges me to write using different techniques. I hadn't realized all the different forms of poetry until joining Writing.Com.
Here is my submission for your "Ballad Contest"
Mya D. Preston

ID: 992834 (Rated: E)
Title: Katie's Secret
Description: A ballad of love given and love lost created for Becky's Newsletter contest
By: Mya D. Preston (2)



Mya,

Thanks for sharing your work with me and for the very complimentary comments. I included your work here for others to check out and comment on. All of the editors do a great job of presenting useful and fun material in the newsletters. - Becky





To the rest of you kind readers who made comments about July’s newsletter; thank you. If it were not for your kind words I would be inclined to find another way to spend the time I spend here.

If you have a question, comment or just an observation concerning this edition of the Poetry Newsletter please feel free to send it to me. I would also like our poetry newsletter readers to send me their favorite poem. Please include the poet’s name. I prefer poets from Writing.Com.


Next weeks editor:Stormy Lady Author IconMail Icon


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