  Spiritual
This week: Traveling Light Edited by: Sophy New Year  
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Hi, I'm Sophy New Year ~ your editor for this edition of the Spiritual Newsletter. In this issue we'll talk about how letting go of all the "things" we have and traveling lighter on our spiritual path can be freeing and healing.
The Rev. Scotty McLennan, author of the book Finding Your Religion, compares humanity's innate need for spiritual searching to climbing a mountain. In his view, we are all endeavoring to climb the same figurative mountain in our search for the divine, we just may take different ways to get there. In other words, there is one "God," but many paths. I honor whatever path or paths you have chosen to climb that mountain in your quest for the Sacred.  |
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Traveling Light
We are trying to sell our house, so in order to "stage" it to look roomier, neater, and more appealing to possible buyers, we put almost half of our possessions into storage in April. Four months later we've discovered we are doing just fine without those items, and wonder if, when we finally do move, we will unpack those things and incorporate them into our new home, or just sell them at a garage sale.
The experience has made me nostalgic for the simpler days of my mid-twenties, when I traveled lighter than I do now because, well, I didn't have much. Like most grad students I had little money. I didn't work the first two years, depending on scholarships and loans, and a little help from Mom and Dad to pay other expenses like gas for my car and a few toiletries. But I lived in a dorm and ate in the dining hall, so I was fortunate to have a roof over my head and food to sustain me, just not much else. After Mr. Sophy and I, who met in grad school, got married, it was pretty much the same except we moved from the dorms to the modest married-student apartments where our bookshelves were made of cinder blocks and boards, and our small television sat on a plastic milk crate - and we now had to pay for utilities and groceries. We both found part time jobs, which helped add a little money to our meager pot.
Though we had little in the way of money or possessions, we both remember that time very fondly. Back then we spent more time together because yes, we were newlyweds - but also because we really didn't have a choice. We lived in a small one bedroom apartment without a lot of "stuff" in it; we shared a car, a bathroom, a television, and a computer, and rarely had extra money to do much more than work and school. Our sense of community with friends was amazing during that time. Our apartment complex was filled with other couples in the same financial situation we were in - so just about every weekend half a dozen or more of us would gather together, outside if the weather was nice, in one of our apartments if it wasn't, for impromptu pot lucks and game nights. We pooled our resources, imaginations, and food, and spent countless evenings eating, talking, laughing, discussing theology with each other and plotting how we might save the world. Twenty four years later we are still in touch with many of those couples.
Of course now we have a lot more money and things than we did. Our one-bedroom apartment is now a bi-level house with three televisions, two computers, two iPhones, and and and and... Is life more convenient and less worrisome now? Yes. Are we happier than we were over twenty years ago? To be honest, not really. Which isn't to say we don't feel blessed and happy with the life we now have - but are we happier than when we had little money or few possessions? No. Perhaps that's because we are now burdened down by the extra possessions in our life, baggage we didn't have back then but still managed to survive.
For instance we can't imagine being able to manage with one car now, though we did for several years. Yes, we have two jobs now, one of which involves quite a bit of driving for Mr. Sophy, but we had two jobs back then, plus school. So we arranged our schedules to make it work, rode into town together and dropped each other off, or took the bus or rode with friends. Sure it was more complicated, but it also meant spending time with each other or our friends. We had one television, and no DVR's though perhaps we had a VCR back then? I can't recall; all I do know is that when we had time to watch TV we watched it together after we agreed on what shows we'd watch, and by "we agreed" of course I mean what I decided we'd watch. Now Mr. Sophy watches golf or science shows in his office upstairs while I watch "Sister Wives" and "Whale Wars" downstairs, only occasionally enjoying a show together, while texting each other to figure out the logistics of where and when - you get the point.
I can't help but wonder what all of my luggage may get in the way of my experiencing now, as compared to 20+ years ago, besides quality time with Mr. Sophy and a real sense of community with friends. For instance, when my attention and energy is intent on enjoying my belongings, and working hard to keep them, does that make me less able or willing to reach out with a gesture of kindness to another? Or do they make me less open to the adventures and hospitality the universe may have waiting for me? If I already have everything I need, am I less able to be open to receive the gifts of those I meet along the way? |
Below you'll find some spiritual offerings from other WDC members - some are recent, some are older pieces. Please let the folks know if you read their piece by leaving a thoughtful comment or review.
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Your responses to my last newsletter "Spiritual Newsletter (June 27, 2012)" about losing my mother were plentiful and heartwarming. For those who sent me private notes, thank you so much. I've shared the public responses below, without comment since there are so many - but know that they are appreciated more than mere words can express, and have helped on my road to healing.
A couple of you shared some of your writing about loss - thanks for sharing them!
From Silent Heart 
Didn't wrote this as a short story or a poem,I just wanted to release my pain through the words,simple and short thoughts.
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From Being Diane
There's nothing as heartbreaking as losing your Mom and you NEVER get over the need to call her.
Diane
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From ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy
Thank you for so beautifully writing your story. It touches each of us who have said those two goodbyes. We understand your loss and wish you well. Cecero wrote: "The life of the deceased is placed in the memories of the living." In that way, they do live on and love never ceases. Thank you for sharing your memories. I love the reference to "her magic". I lost Dad when I was thirty and Mom when I was 70..I still miss them and share my memories of them with my grandchildren that she will live on with... peace.
From BScholl 
What a beautiful and eloquent view of your mother. Thanks for sharing.
From Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ 2025 
Sophy, this was a beautiful newsletter and fine tribute to your mother. I am so sorry that she has passed away. The loss of a mother is beyond difficult to bear--it rips at the very core of the heart. May she rest in peace and find joy again in the arms of your father.
~WW
From nightgirl
I'm very excited to read these writings. Having lost my mother at a very younge age I like to read how the loss effects different people. I'm so glad to read a title like this and be able to relate and know... Hey your not alone. I lost my Mother and brother in a house fire more than a decade ago. It will be 12 years August 11, 2012. I was 8 almost 9 years old and didn't fully understand. I'm now 20 and i understand but my mother has been gone for over half my life. I know how to live better without her then I know how to live with her. Sometimes I think that makes it easier because I can't close my eyes and see her (I don't even have pictures of her in the years before the house fire) but then sometimes that hurts even more because honestly... I don't remember her. All I remember are the stories I'm told and some that i think are true. That's life for you though. Thank you for sharing your story.
Happy reading.
Rebecca (nightgirl)
From Incurable Romantic
Sophy, your newsletter on Losing Mom was definitely written from the heart. And I'm glad you had that final chance to say "I love you" to her. So many people don't get that chance. We should tell those we love how we feel as often as we can because we never know which of those times will turn out to be the last one. I know the peace of mind you feel from not missing your chance to say that to your mother. I have had that same peace of mind for the last 32 years since Losing my wife and high school sweetheart at the age of 30. I'm glad you and your mother were so close, too. I never had that with my mother. You have been greatly blessed having those wonderful years with your mother, and it warms my heart knowing that you fully realize that, and that you are so grateful to have had them. And I fully believe she is indeed your newest Guardian Angel. Keep up the wonderful writing; it's a great joy for both you and your readers.
From Christine Cassello
That was a nice tribute to your mother. I also lost both of my parents as an adult, first my father of a sudden heart attack and Mom 10 years later of Ovarian cancer which she suspected she might have did not see a doctor about her symtoms. It was already at stage 4 when she went to one. She lived about two more months. At least you have your own family. I never married and my mother was my best friend so I am really alone now.
From shoumojit
Hi
This is a good way of expressing the grief that will make the reader feel inner strength rather sympathy while reading this newsletter,I expect to pray the strength Lord gives to make you cope the loss. I find the time of 1 month to six months very vulnerable as there always comes a urge to consult your mother and this urge falls in that vacuum.You have added magic and love both are the inner fulcrum that keeps us balanced and enjoy the illusions..Rajasri
From Mia - craving colour
Hi Sophy,
Thank you for sharing those beautiful memories and the delightful description of the similarities between love and magic.
I believe you are carrying her legacy forward.
From whimsicalme
Sophy, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I relate to virtually all the thoughts you have expressed in your piece about the loss. I lost my mother eleven years ago. I haven't got over her death because I did not have a chance to see her before she died. I feel something was left incomplete. Her life was tragic. She had been very ill for a very long time. But she had been the epitome of love and sacrifice through her life. That I will never forget. That stays with me, my guiding light. Mothers live on in us. That is my comfort. Their love is magical and more powerful than anything else that drives us.
Well written tribute to yours.
Elinya
From alysia
I can't imagine what it would be like to loose one of my parents, though I try to imagine. They weren't always the greatest, but they can have flaw too. I guess I always put them on a pedastal and when they don't measure up, I get disappointed. Now I know what it's like to loose a grandparent whom you are very close too, I still want to go see her any time I think of her. It took me several years to realize I could not call her anymore. Keeping you and your family in my prayers!
From Marie 
It is hard to lose a loved one and i'm glad you found a productive way to allow yourself and others an outlet to share. It has helped many instead of selfishly holding your pain to yourself. i'm sorry to hear of the loss of your mother, perhaps since Christ took his mother with Him, our Blessed Virgin can be your present Mother now when you need the comfort. My prayers are with you.
From Diane
This was a wonderful tribute to your mother and something for all of us to reflect on in our daily lives. Thank you for sharing this with us.
From scarlett_o_h
A wonderful Newsletter which I will keep in my favourites. It brought tears to my eyes.
I'll be 62 this year, but didn't become an orphan until Oct 31st last year when my 91 year-old Dad slipped away. We think he'd simply had enough. My Mum passed in 2008 unexpectedly. Like yours she was 84 and a devout Spiritualist.
We never fully recover, we'll think of them every day, but the love we shared keeps our faith and hope alive. Life goes on and the cycle continues. We are indeed lucky if we had good relationships with our parents and loving memories to treasure.
Bless you in your time of loss and for your beautiful words here.
From Katya the Poet
It was a privilege and a pleasure to know Phyllis here and in life, and I send you love and comfort as you grieve. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings and your sister's words. And I embrace the dear, forlorn orphaned you. And am glad to laugh with you when the fond and funny memories come up like bubbles of champagne.
Again, my heartfelt thanks to you for all the kind words and support. Until next time, Sophy New Year |
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Spiritual: July 25, 2012 Issue [#5167]
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