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This week: Glitches Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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glitch noun,1. a defect or malfunction in a machine or plan.
-Dictionary.com Unabridged
There are always glitches, problems that can go wrong, especially in the early stages of space flight.
-Derek Mitchell
A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something.
-Trinity |
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Glitches
or
Something Will Go Wrong; It's Guaranteed
Yiddish has contributed more than its fair share of words to the English language, an observation that I attribute as much to a shared linguistic heritage with German as to the prevalence of Jewish immigrants in the US. We can kibitz about how big a klutz someone is, or how much chutzpah he or she has, and it's even kosher to kvetch about how much you had to shlep on your trip to the bagel shop. Language changes, but I'm certain that one Yiddish word that will follow us into space and beyond is the ever-useful glitch.
And yet, glitches are under-represented in science fiction and fantasy. I suspect that this is partly for plot purposes, and partly because there's this pervasive belief that, in the case of science fiction, technology can be perfected, and in the case of fantasy, magic solves everything.
Well, this turns out not to be the case, at least in the case of technology (its application to fantasy magic is untestable). Take, for example, this story about a British tram (translation: light rail train) that derailed on its first day in service. Or, on a more personal level, take last night when my laptop recognized my network printer/scanner, and the printer/scanner recognized my laptop, and yet the two utterly refused to communicate, kind of like me and my ex-wife toward the end of our relationship.
This shouldn't happen, of course. Glitches, I mean, not the ending of relationships, which is as certain as construction work on the Capital Beltway. With the train, I like to believe that civil engineers are infallible (being one myself). With the printer, well, I've got a laptop running the latest software and operating system, and a state-of-the-art printer, both produced by the same company and purchased less than a year ago. And yet, there was that glitch, one that I'm still fighting with.
In Star Trek, if something goes wrong with the tech, it's always from some external source: the Ferengi have introduced a virus, or there's a cosmic storm, or Romulans are attacking, or some such. But the Enterprise sails blithely along, and the artificial gravity never fails. Ditto with Battlestar:Galactica, except substitute Cylons for Ferengi and Romulans. Never, or at least almost never, does something go wrong for no apparent reason, which is an everyday occurrence for my laptop, network, modem, mobile phone, and car.
This is why it's 2012 and we don't have flying cars.
In 1969, the Soviet Union was poised to beat the US to the moon. The rocket was on the launchpad, cosmonauts were suited up and properly indoctrinated in the philosophy of the Workers' Revolution... and (tragically for the cosmonauts and their families) the rocket blew up. It blew up, it turns out, not because of failure of high technology (as was the case with the US's later Apollo 13, but really, what did they think would happen if they used the number 13?), but because someone failed to tighten a bolt.
It was a glitch, in other words, not of science, but of simple human procedures. (Lest you believe that it's because "they" were filthy commies while "we" were noble capitalists, remember our early attempts at space travel were also fraught with human error). The marvel, then, is not only that we went to the moon, but that we (using "we" to mean the species as a whole, now) tried at all.
There are exceptions to the no-glitches-in-fiction observation, of course; notably, the latest Mission: Explosible film used glitches for both comic and suspenseful effect.
In a story, we want to advance the plot, though, and that's often done by assuming technology (or magic) that works, and works consistently. Yet, glitches are a) realistic and b) useful devices for introducing plot complications, and thus adding interest to the story.
In fantasy, sometimes writers actually go too far, rendering magic useless, and yet continuing to use it as a central device. The late, great Robert Asprin comes to mind, but he was purposely writing humor. But usually, someone casts a spell or whatever, and unless it's a deliberate intention of the writer to introduce a new element in the storyline, it works. In science fiction, though, flying cars never fall out of the sky, complicated devices such as spaceships always work as designed, and engines don't blow up out of the blue.
The fact is, sometimes things Just Don't Work, and there's No Bloody Reason for it (and you can't always call HP Tech Support to fix it; in fact, that usually makes the problem worse). In fiction, this is a wonderful opportunity for character development, especially if you call creative cursing "character development."
So next time someone in your story wants to affect the world with his or her technology or magic, give 'em the Blue Screen of Death. Even if they're using a Mac.
And do it for no apparent reason. |
Glitches or no, here is some science fiction for your enjoyment:
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Last time, in "Fantasy Newsletter (March 14, 2012)" , I talked about space, its extent, and our place in it.
Matthew W Menefee  : A couple of things bother me about this article. first, they have discovered exoplanets with water, and they have developed ways to detected what substances may be on he surface of these planets. second, since we don't know what the universe is, and why we are here, and a million other questions that have no answers, one cannot say that the universe isn't here for our benefit. I'm not saying I believe this, but since there are so many unanswered questions, the universe may very well be here for just us. It's not impossible.
Thanks for the feedback! Yes, they have found water on exoplanets. Astronomers have also found water floating free in space, in south pole craters on the moon, on Mars, in the rings of Saturn, and on Jupiter's moon Europa, just to name a few places. Water by itself is a necessary but insufficient requirement for Life As We Know It. I don't doubt that we'll find life Out There. It just hasn't happened yet, and sensationalism about new exoplanet discoveries masks what's truly awesome about them: the fact that we've discovered them at all.
And that's it for this month! Until next time, watch out for glitches and
DREAM ON!!! |
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Fantasy: April 11, 2012 Issue [#4980]
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