Fantasy
This week: Is It Possible To OVER Describe? Edited by: Sara♥Jean More Newsletters By This Editor
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Is It Possible To OVER Describe?
Fantasy is the king when it comes to description. Fantasy writers, by far, seem to make sure that their imaginary worlds are incredibly well thought out, well described, and in some cases, even mapped. As such, the question naturally pops up:
Can you describe something too much?
I suppose the true answer to this question would depend completely upon opinion. My personal opinion would be... yes. Yes, you can!
Descriptions can be incredibly beautiful, but they can also be over-the-top. Language used, length - many things can make a reader want to set a book or story aside, and never pick it up again. There can be too little, or too much, and getting it "just right" can take a bit of extra time.
Too Much
One way you can make something too descriptive is simply to make it too long. If you spend three pages describing a character's hair, that's probably a clear indication that you are using a bit too much description.
Taking a passage from one of my own unfinished books, I will show you what I think would be too much description. (Nope, you can't see the original until the end!)
She let out her breath slowly once hearing the pair of footsteps retreat, heated wind coursing past her full, round, red lips and creating a light mist in the chilled night air - the mist lingering for a few seconds, nearly forming into shapes right in front of her eyes, before dissipating into the air like the lifting of a dense fog. Her back elongated before pressing against the cold stone of the tall and roughly hewn wall, she found herself inching toward the edge of the alley so she might peek around the corner and watch the backs of the retreating men. She whipped back around to press against the wall, her smallish, button nose wrinkling into a displeased expression as her luscious blue orbs skimmed the darkness of the alley surrounding her. To the left was the sound of a rat digging about in the discarded garbage of the gutters, and to the right were simply the sounds of more echoing footsteps. The dark wall she centered her eyes on resembled crinkled, discarded, and dirty clothing having been tossed out into the street after a brawl fight, stains coating the majority of its surface like the dingy spots of a homeless dog. Golden tresses fall mussed about her shoulders, their usually immaculate curls brushing against each small portion of her skin with gentle caresses, the color nearly matching the golden and tanned hue of her melanin. After waiting to be sure she heard no more sound, she poked her head back around the corner, tendrels falling slowly over her shoulder before waving gently in the passing breeze. Seeing no one, she pressed on, darting expertly in and out of shadows, her curvaceous body easily weaving from shadow to shadow with the greatest of ease.
While this might be great for a short story, and might even catch the attention of some people, I'll be honest - a scene like this is one thing, but an entire BOOK written like this would be incredibly tedious. It is taking several sentences before anything happens at all. And I say this, knowing full well that I am the one who wrote it! That was an excellent exercise to put that much description into what was originally a short paragraph, but I don't think I'd want to write an entire book that way - much less read it. Continue to write an entire book like this, and you'll be describing things over and over and over.
(Did it make you giggle or roll your eyes? It made me giggle - but then, it's mine.)
Too Little
Saying that there can be too much, leads one to know that there can also be too little. When it comes to clothing, leaving a little to the imagination is a good thing. When it comes to writing, you don't want to leave it ALL to the imagination. The imagination needs a little nudge, just to be sure the reader sees the same world that the writer does. Here is the same passage as above, but now with far too little information:
She exhaled, peeking around the corner. She whipped back around, then waited, then looked again. Seeing no one, she pressed on, moving through the shadows.
It tells one almost nothing. In fact, I get this odd sense of her whipping her head out, then back, then out again - as if she's playing some twisted game of Hokey Pokey. (You know, put your head in, put your head out, put your head in and you shake it all ab... ok. I'll stop.)
Just Right
Alright, alright - here's the original paragraph:
She let out her breath slowly once hearing the pair of footsteps retreat, inching toward the edge of the alley before peeking around the corner and watching the backs of the retreating men. She whipped back around to press against the wall, her nose wrinkling into a displeased expression. After waiting to be sure she heard no more sound, she poked her head back around the corner. Seeing no one, she pressed on, darting expertly in and out of shadows.
Yes, the woman is described elsewhere. This is a scene where she's nearly first introduced, and is running for her life - or, at least, she thinks she is. It gives MUCH less information than the over-description, but then, that information is given elsewhere. I will admit that putting myself through this little exercise of attempting to over-describe my own previous writing gave me some ideas of further descriptions that might be good to put in there, but it also showed me what I absolutely would not want!
Finding a happy medium is key. Now, I'll be honest. There's no way to please everyone. Some people will always want less, and some will always want more. But find a happy medium for yourself. Develop your sense of style and individuality with what you have to say. |
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Responses from my last newsletter for this genre: "Fantasy Newsletter (February 23, 2011)"
Thanks for the reminder to make fantasy believable, Sara. Fantasy is my favorite genre to write, but I have trouble reading a lot of it. I find myself thinking, "Yeah, right." way too much. - Ashley
That is exactly what that newsletter addressed! I am so glad you enjoyed it.
My favorite fantasy character would have to one of my own from a manuscript I am writing and drawing at the present time, Her name is Samantha Logan. Samantha is my favorite because she is a great heroine that still makes a lot of mistakes as she tries to adjust to her new life as the leader of a group of universal protectors and being a high school student. - writergal20
That's just awesome. One of my favorite book characters of all time is Stephanie Plum, and she makes TONS of absolutely hilarious mistakes. It really makes her come alive, and makes her very relate-able.
Thanks for the tips in your newsletter about making fantasy believable. I'm starting to write fantasy stories and this was a helpful reminder. Definitely saving a copy of it. - Duchess Laughing Lemurs
Awesome! I hope it proves to be useful for you.
Wonderful roadmap for fantasy writers, Sara Jean. If I ever venture to write a fantasy story, I'm going to refer to this newsletter again.
Thanks! - Joy
Hey, it could be used for any genre, really. I geared it specifically toward fantasy writers, but these same guidelines can be used no matter what genre a story is. Thank you!
Hi Sara Jean!
Your explanations about how to create a realistic world within the fantasy genre were very astute. Particularly the one about character flaws. While it's easy to give our heroes flaws to make them human, it's harder (but necessary) to give the villains flaws that humanize them, too. Great newsletter! - LJPC - the tortoise
I agree! I love it when both villains and heroes have flaws - especially when they greatly enhance the story, or put them into a struggle. Problem solving is my favorite part of reading and writing - there are some incredibly unique solutions that the characters come up with.
SJ,
I do believe that this is the best Fantasy Newsletter I have ever read. - billwilcox
You honor me, W.D. |
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