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Sometimes, as a writer, one must write about incredibly unpleasant things. Sometimes they are parts of a story. Sometimes they are all too real. |
ASIN: 0910355479 |
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I was asked to cover a local news story for a news blog. No fluff piece this. A story (massively sanitized version follows) about a man who systematically beat his girl friend's four year old boy to death for wetting his pants. This took place over several days. The boy's mother was also beaten for trying to protect her son. This took place in front of the boy's eight year old brother. The more I found out about those involved, the more horrific the information became.
Writing, for a bit, was impossible. I was angry. I was sick . . .literally. I was ready to break something. My heart hurt. I needed some distance as I needed to write facts, not opinions. I couldn't let how I felt go into the story. Yet how could I not? The litany of abuse inflicted was nothing less than pure, unmitigated torture. It was the hardest thing I ever tried to write. The only thing that helped was the fact that I didn't know any of the people involved. They were strangers and I used this to keep that 'distance.'
The mother's minor sister came over to buy some drugs. She saw the boy and when she left, she went to the grandfather. He called the police. Police arrived and the boyfriend freely admitted what he'd done and why. Mother and child go to hospital. She's released. The child dies of massive internal injuries, a severely fractured skull, and many more fractured bones. Boyfriend goes to jail. The brother goes into a foster home. Neighbors heard yelling but didn't realize someone needed help. Cut and dried facts. Awful facts. Then more. Boyfriend had a prison record for everything from buying and selling drugs, to abuse, to battery, to breaking and entering, and to numerous parole violations. The mother had numerous drug violations. The boyfriend's father blames it on the drugs, not his son.
I wrote the story trying my best to report the facts. It was hard to type through tears, but I had a job to do. I was going to read it to my husband for his opinion on whether or not I'd kept my feelings out of it when he called. He'd just heard about it from his daughter. The grandfather was her uncle on his ex-wife's side. Our grand kids played with the boys. They were friends.
The distance vanished. My heart broke. Luckily the story as such, was already written. I proofed it and sent it off. My husband arrived home to find me a dissolved puddle of tears. I had questions no one could answer. How could anyone do this? How could a mother not do something to stop it? No matter what? Blaming it on drugs? Accountability for one's actions?
Ken asked me how I handled it when I had to write a difficult scene for a short story. Frankly, I'd never written anything like this. I couldn't begin to imagine it. But in a short story it would be imaginary, not real. This was in my face REAL.
"It's not the first time something like this has happened," he said cautiously. He was right of course. There are sick people out there. Abuse of children and women and some men too, as well as senior citizens is all too frequently in the news. It is a huge problem. This just now hit way too close to home.
"You've used other experiences you've had in your writing. Both good and bad. Eventually, you'll use this too and that writing will be better for it because there is where you will pour out all this anger and hurt and "
"No! I don't want to write about something this horrible. I don't want to think about it." I interrupted.
"get the word out in your own unique way just how horrible stuff like this is," he calmly continued as if I hadn't broken in. "You'll tell a story and just maybe, someone will recognize a pattern or smarten up and get out of a potentially bad situation before something terrible happens."
He's right of course. He usually is. And I shall. But not right away. Right now my heart aches for little Dominick and for his brother who will have to live with this for the rest of his life.
As of today, typing in the boy's name on Google brings up over a million hits. The Facebook page, almost as many. My hope is that the story of this little boy reaches out to the world and that people will be more observant, maybe. More aware of problems within their home. More aware of what is going on around them, in general.
April is Child Abuse Awareness Month.
10/17/05-4/12/10 |
and because I was so happy to stumble upon this one. I needed it!
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Second of Nine writes in:Thank you for that article! I came from a family that also uses vocab that is 'rare' on the average and I've often gotten the feeling that using it is frowned on because the readers might not know the words. Thank you for showing that there are also other people out there that do not agree with this assessment!
I'm thinking that I'm a big fan of using correct words for a situation, that we must use them judiciously. Too many scattered around might be difficult...but then again, it all depends upon the vocabulary of the reader. *smile*
atwhatcost says:"Audience" is always on my mind when I write. Unfortunately, with my favorite kind of stories, "audience" can be tough. I love to write (and want them published) teddy bear stories for arctophiles, but arctophiles come in all ages, thus all reading levels. Any idea at what reading level I should write with such a diverse group? I'd like it to be accessible, but don't want it too simple. And, yes, I, too, like looking things up, but if I can't figure out the question, it's hard to research an answer.
You've hit on two of my favorite "minor issues" for writing. Thanks.
arctophiles--teddy bear collectors. New one for me and I am one! *grin*
To answer your question, I think it would matter as to which set of arctophiles a specific piece is aimed at as well as the level of collector one might be. A serious collector would be approached differently, than say, a seven year old with twenty-three bears on her bed. One who appreciates the difference between a Steiff and a JK Farnell might be approached differently than one who collects beanie bears.
For the arctophiles out there...a cool site is http://www.theteddybearmuseum.com/index.htm
Christine Cassello comments: This was really nice advice. I write with a focus on children so I can avoid using those technical and difficult words and was taught to do that when writing for a general audience. I know, however that if I wrote for a trade journal I would be expected to know the vocabulary of the trade.
True. But I wonder, what words fall under 'general audience?' What reading level would that be?
Jen says:I think this is a stupendous article. I make it a point to scatter unfamiliar words throughout my novel to 'make' people have to look them up. I too have folks tell me I shouldn't put words like 'credenza' in my book because folks won't know what it means. My response is the same as yours - look it up. Great post.
Thank you!
S. Brown adds: I do have to say that a story that makes me reach for my hand held dictionary every few sentence does turn me off. Doing so pulls me out of the reading zone and one losses the enjoyment of the flow of the story.
Every few sentences would turn me off too. But depending what it was I was I was reading, I might expect to have to look them up if i wanted to learn about what it was I was reading about. General reading, I wouldn't think it odd if I stumbled across a word I wasn't familiar with. Every other sentence then I should think I came across someone who has thesaurus-itus!
Pepper writes:As an English teacher, I could not have said it better. If you don't know a word, look it up! However, a word of caution -- be careful not to go too far in showing off your extensive vocabulary! We've all read those pieces where every third word has twenty plus syllables. If we become too enamored with using power words, we can forget that those same words need to create one coherent piece. When that happens, accessibility is lost, even for those of who don’t suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia!
yup...I had to look it up to be sure: fear of long words
Mark writes:Good NL Fyn. Agree, disagree, adapt, adopt, use, think, evolve....no doubt it caused some of this in anyone who read it. I wonder just how many owe a thank you. I know I do. Thank you.
You are most welcome, my friend.Thank YOU!
Adrianna adds: I don't write for any audience. I write for the story. The tale inside my mind that is screaming at me to get out. I guess you could say that means I'm writing for myself, but I would disagree as I am not the story and the story is not me. Interesting newsletter though!
Ah, but who is it that your story is aimed towards? Who do you anticipate reading it? An adult? A child? A teenager? These can change vocabulary used, or subject matter.
Scribble Addict says: I love words. Skimming through a dictionary to check my spelling often leads me astray when I spot interesting new words or marvel at the depth of meaning of a word I thought knew. Check out freerice.com, it is a vocabulary game and every correct answer donates ten grains of rice to, 'The United Nations World Food Programme', to help end world hunger. It warns that this game may make you smarter!
Freerice is a great site...fun to see how far you can make it!!! Help others and learn at the same time. |
ASIN: 0910355479 |
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Amazon's Price: $ 13.99
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