  Noticing Newbies
This week: Don't Take Criticism Personally. Edited by: esprit  
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Welcome to the Noticing Newbies Newsletter! Our goal is to showcase some of our newest Writing.Com Authors and their items. From poetry and stories to creative polls and interactives, we'll bring you a wide variety of items to enjoy. We will also feature "how to" advice and items that will help to jump start the creation process on Writing.com
We hope all members of the site will take the time to read, rate, review and welcome our new authors. By introducing ourselves, reviewing items and reaching out, we will not only make them feel at home within our community, we just might make new friends! |
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Don't Take Criticism Personally.
 Writers, while in their writing mode, are: emotional, moody, happy, jealous, terrified, arrogant, resentful, insecure, confident, envious, egotists, joyful and creative.
Writers constantly compare their work with other writers. Either to satisfy themselves that they can write or to verify that they will never be able to write 'like that'.
Inexperienced writers tend to take constructive criticism more personally than seasoned writers. We all do to an extent, but new writers especially. In most cases, the emotion shows itself in two ways. They become enraged and/or wretched. There is very little middle ground.
Writers view their writing as an extension of themselves. My baby. My life. To criticise my writing is to criticise me. We often get so tangled up in the enormous personal effort that writing takes, that we associate ourselves too closely with what's on the page.
Is this just the nature of the writing beast? I don't know. I do know it's unhealthy to let it go too far. Your writing is not you
Handling the emotional ups and downs of writing is more difficult than struggling with the actual act of writing. When we put something in writing and hand it over to others, it makes us vulnerable in a way that few other things do. If our first readers love what we've written, our hearts burst with joy. If not, we are devastated and want to lash out and hurt the criticiser, the editor, the reader.
If you can detach yourself from the writing, even a little, you'll see that it's not you on the page, even if it's your life story. Those people you granted the power to encourage or crush you are responding to the words you created, not you. That's the plain, logical truth.
Yes, we pour ourselves into our writing, we have to if we want to write well. The secret is to detach you from the writing after the story is on the page. No matter how much the words mean to you, they are separate from you. They represent moments of you, ideas worked out on paper-but are not you. If you can practice constructive detachment to distance yourself from your writing, it will act as a cushion and prevent a lot of emotional upheavals. I can't tell you how to do it, you'll need to figure that out for yourselves, I can only assure you it can be done. Pretend the story is someone else's, or whatever works for you. Just remembering that you joined WDC to learn will be a good start.
If you receive a review that you consider harsh, read it and put it away for a few days. This allows you to put some distance between the criticism and yourself. Then read it again and think about what the reviewer said. Consider the criticism honestly. Admit that the comments aren't really harsh (as in mean), they are honest from the reviewer's viewpoint, and they probably contain some good advice that will help you in self-editing now and in future writes.
If you'd written this review instead of receiving it, would the suggestions sound harsh? Absolutely not. If you were helping another writer with this story, would you think the comments helpful? Probably. If we bond with our writing too tight, any kind of negative comment will sound like rude personal criticism. We have to move away from that mindset and grow thicker skin if we truly want to improve our writing.
You shouldn't make a decision to revise a write or delete a review while in the throes of emotion. Wait until you can look at your writing rationally, constructively and with detachment. Reviews are given for only one reason--to help the writer. The writer within you understands that. The emotional you will not. Successful writers have learned how important it is to detach their emotion from their writing when they ask for constructive feedback.
Constructive Reviews are needed to improve writing. Constructive Detachment is needed to do the same thing.
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Submitted By: An apple a day.... 
Submitted Comment: Hi Esprit....You are so right about reading newsletters. There's always something of personal interest to me and I wouldn't want to miss it. Trying poetry and different genres are definitely good ways to improve your writing from the feedback to the stretching. Thanks for another great Newbies Newsletter. The editor's picks are always good reads and good for reviewing, all learning tools for me......connie
Thanks, Connie. I'm glad you've discovered their benefits.
Submitted By: Christopher Eastman-Nagle
Submitted Comment: Thank you for giving my 'Bathroom Wars' a run. The exposure is very much appreciated I have noticed an uptick of additional interest in other parts of my portfolio. Regards Kiffit
Great, Kiffit! thanks for letting us know.
Submitted By: sarahreed
Submitted Comment: Great advice about subscribing to newsletters that you may not have much interest in. You never know when you'll read something that will help in your chosen field or expand your horizons. Even though I'm not a newbie by most standards, I find a lot of benefit from subscribing to the newbie newsletter. There is still a lot I don't know about the site. Then there's the fun of seeing your work listed in unexpected places. Thanks for listing my Write Every Day article. I'm glad it's being shared with newbies and others alike.
You're welcome, Sara, I use as many member written articles as I can. And, as the ad says, the Newbie Newsletter isn't just for new members. I hope you keep on reading it. 
We always appreciate the feedback, thanks!
Editors:
Cubby 
laurencia
Your host this week is esprit
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Noticing Newbies: August 12, 2009 Issue [#3204]
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