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Tech Support: "What does the screen say now.."
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
I'm Sophurky ~ your Host for the Comedy Newsletter this week where we'll talk about the wonders of technology. |
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Techno-Challenged
Recently I had to ask my six year old neighbor how to program my new iPhone. I had originally been referred to her three year old brother for help, but as the wee lad has yet to speak in complete sentences yet I was afraid I'd end up more confused than I already was. So I turned to his big sister for help instead, and she was great, and it's programmed perfectly. But she went through the instructions so fast I wasn't able to absorb all of the important information -- luckily she programmed her phone number as my "In Case of Emergency" contact.
Okay, I admit it, the above story is not exactly true. But it's pretty close to the truth. While I don't own an iPhone (though I do have an iPod), I'd love to have one. In fact, I'd love to have a Palm Pilot to sync with my computer calendar as well, instead of carrying around my clunky paper calendar. But I'm afraid that by the time I figure out how to use the darn things they'd be obsolete and I'd have to buy new gadgets and learn how to use them all over again, and so on and so on. So unless I can get the neighborhood toddlers to be on standby to give me a crash course in the latest techno-gear, I'll probably remain in the dark ages.
I was totally born at the wrong time. When I was in college back all those years ago, there was a computer we used for our statistics classes. I was told that the "hard drive" for the computer took up an entire room. I recall a large black and white monitor the size of a television and a keyboard, where we entered our data and had results spit back to us. But that was about all it did -- we couldn't write papers or anything like that on it, and so we still used typewriters for our papers. But by the time I got to grad school a few years later, word processors were all the rage. You know the ones with those large disks that were actually floppy? They didn't do a whole lot, but you could compose your papers on them. And play pong I think. But there was no Internet or Google -- well, maybe there was but the common folks like me didn't have access to them.
Now a mere twenty years later, almost everyone has at least one computer in their home (we have three) and one at work, not to mention all of the mini computers in all of our other household devices like the computers inside our DVR players, kitchen stoves, and the dashboards of our cars. We live, work, and are entertained via the Internet -- we can now grocery shop, order plane tickets and buy new furniture online. I live a couple of thousand miles from my family, but we can stay in constant contact through email and video conferencing. Heck, sometimes my husband and I even communicate via IM instead of walking up or down the stairs to talk to each other in person. So I do love technology!  But lord help us if the power goes out or our hard drive crashes because we would be lost without our techno-gadgets.
And why do they keep improving technology so often? It'd be one thing if the improvements were worth it and made things better, but that's not always the case. Take Windows Vista, for instance. What the heck was wrong with Windows XP? Why did they need to come out with Vista? Not only did I have to learn a new operating system, but it doesn't work as well as XP in my humble opinion (but what do I know). And don't get me started on iPods -- I finally figure out how to work the one I have, sort of, and then they come out with new, more advanced ones that don't necessarily work better but are more confusing than ever for me to work.
Ooops, gotta run for now. My six year old neighbor is back to teach me how to program our DVR! While I'm gone, I'd love to hear your techno-horror stories! In the meantime you can find a few from the site below.
Until next time, hopefully! Sophurky
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Here are some items from around the site about the joys of technology -- remember, if you enjoy them, please let the author know by reviewing and rating the piece!
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Here are some responses from my last newsletter about winter.
From maryelle
Can identify with snow -- and on being raised in San Francisco, the utter frustration when trying to drive in the God-awful stuff. Of course, my husband and I live 6 miles from the Oregon border, so when you see the television showing you how bad the winters are that's us. Love scarcasm - my sense of humor runs dry and people look at me in wonder when I use it, Oh well!
I didn't think San Francisco got much snow, I thought it was all about the fog. As for sarcasm, last week's newsletter did a nice piece about it. I love it too but it sure can be easily misunderstood.
     
From karlaswan 
Dear SophY,
I'm right there with you on winter. The only good thing about winter is Groundhog Day, but I'm not talking about that stupid Punxatawny Phil. (I know I didn't spell that right.) Groundhog Day is actually the day when we women come of hiding; take one look at our backsides in a mirror, shriek, and go right back to bed . . .
Karla
Thanks for the laugh! And you were close -- it's Punxsutawney!
From Katya the Poet 
Ah, nothing like whining about winter to help us cope with it! Thanks!
Or wine-ing about winter, with extra cheese!
From andromeda
ah ha! youre kidding right? I live in utah and the warmest we've been this winter is about 20 degrees. and we kept getting series of snowstorms that made it cloudy all week! so it's not that bad!
Yeah I guess we were lucky getting a couple of warm days, though it felt cruel because the temps were more often in the teens and low thirties for most of winter, and with more snow than usual. So I guess winter has been sucking for most of us! 
From lulubelle
Great newsletter! I don't really like winter either, though I live in a warmer place. To survive, I stay indoors in comfy clothes, a blanket, a cup of hot coco, and a good book or my laptop (and lap dog who is as much as a baby about winter as I am).
Thanks for the newsletter!
Ashton Rose
Sounds warm and toasty! My dog is a great little heater too! She sleeps with us and I totally snuggle up to her at night. And during the die she lies under my desk to warm my feet!
That's all for now! Until next time, and on behalf of your other brilliant Comedy Newsletter Editors Melissa is fashionably late!  katherine76 Robert Waltz  -- LAUGH ON! |
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Comedy: March 26, 2008 Issue [#2301]
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