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I like to laugh. Do you? If so, you might find inspiration through this newsletter to either laugh or cause laughter.
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If you've been an avid reader of my newsletters for the past few months, you know that I gave birth to my second son on July 30. Well, it's now been seven weeks and my life guage is slowly moving from the abnormal position to the normal position (or as close as it will ever get to normal for me - it's all subjective).
My body is starting to shrink back to its normal size. Because of this, I've realized that I have to spend more time cleaning my belly button because I actually have one. I'm trying to figure out a way to make stretch marks attractive, although I have a sinking feeling that this one is a lost cause. Last, but not least, I'm trying to force myself back into my prepregnancy clothes. For the most part, I've been successful at the last one, but I'm happy enough that I went from a 43-inch girth back down to a 33-inch girth.
I'm beginning to think that sleep will never be normal again. I catch naps when I can scavange them. People say to sleep when the baby sleeps, and I try. I also have a 2-year-old, though, so I have to try to coordinate the newborn and the toddlers nap schedules and they don't always want to cooperate. My normal sleep routine has been reduced to two-to-three hour segments, if I'm lucky, for a total of maybe five hours a night.
Jumping off on a tangent, it's amazing how well we adapt to sleep deprivation on a long-term basis. I'm telling you it is possible to learn how to prepare scrambled eggs, make a pot of coffee, and fold a load of laundry, all while half asleep, all at the same time. The laundry may end up in the frying pan, the eggs in the coffee pot, and the coffee grounds in the laundry basket, but it all evens out in the end!
Coming back from that tangent, now, I also am beginning to think that my clothes are destined to be stained by spit up and diaper messes for the rest of my life. Sure, I know it's only temporary, but baby spit is this season's new black. If you can't produce some of your own, I recommend borrowing a friend's!
And last, but not least, you are supposed to go to work and feel grateful to actually have some adult time. After seven weeks of goos, gurgles, and toddler-speak, it has been wonderful to speak with someone who uses complete sentences and doesn't talk about himself in the third person.
Don't get me wrong; being a new mother is great, but it is nice to get back to life and as close to normal as possible!  |
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Comedy: September 19, 2007 Issue [#1959]
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