Before you worry about landing an agent, have a product to sell. Really – until you’ve written the book, there’s just no point in worrying about the business end of writing one. But if you’ve got a book and a truckload of enthusiasm, and you’re ready to sell, you may want to consider hiring an agent. If you can’t sell your book to an agent… Well, I won’t go so far as to say “Abandon hope, all ye who enter,” but really – given the number of publishers unwilling to take a chance on unagented manuscripts, you may want to try this route.

I’ve been feeling snarky, lately. So naturally, I gravitated towards the blog of one anonymous literary agent in New York City who goes by the nickname, “Miss Snark.” Miss Snark tells it like it is. Just reading her blog can reduce an amateur writer to tears and lead to much gnashing of the teeth. In fact, I’m sitting here with 25+ years’ experience, wondering if it wouldn’t just be easier and a whole lot more fun to go to underwater welding school. But if it doesn’t send you into a tailspin of instant denial, you may just learn a thing or two that will eventually lead to publication.

Slow night at the toaster (or, Things you do to turn your query into toast):

Show, don’t tell (this applies to query letters, too!):

3 Things You Did Today That Scream "Don't Take Me Seriously" (and y’all thought I was mean):

“Slice of life” and “vignette” are closely related literary terms. Vignettes are short, impressionistic scenes that focus on one moment or give one impression about a character, an idea, or a setting. A slice of life story may consist of one or more vignettes – little “slices” from the events in a character's life. The slice of life story is often light on plot (if plot exists, at all), and contains limited character development, exposition, action, conflict, or story development. It is often open-ended, leaving the reader hanging. In trying to depict the everyday life of ordinary people, it all too often fails to satisfy the expectations of readers. Readers want to be transported and caught up in a tale that is not ordinary or dull, even if it is realistic and familiar. Both vignette and slice of life have their place; as part of a larger body of work, they can be effective, but they rarely stand on their own. They are like snapshots, and publishers want movies or at least a satisfying half hour’s entertainment.

Wikipedia contributors, "Vignette (literature)," Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Vignette_%28literature%29&oldid=127526... (accessed May 6, 2007).

Wikipedia contributors, "Slice of life story," Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Slice_of_life_story&oldid=108997512 (accessed May 6, 2007).

DB Cooper writes:

English is the world's most useful language but Hungarian gets my vote for most beautiful.

Jay Bingham writes:

I have a question on apostrophe use. We all know that an apostrophe shouldn't be used to show plural. But, in technical writing, it is sometimes useful to refer to the plural of one-character things, like "1" or "0" or "A" (The computer was configured to transmit a series of 1s or 0s") But if you try this with a letter, like A, you get the English word "As" and not the plural for more than one A. For clarity, I use "A's". As wrong as it may be, it's what gets understood. Any better suggestions?

james writes:

I agree that the F word should be accepted in polite society. Is it ironic that I therefore do not write the F word in this comment?!

darylm writes:

Hi Jessiebelle,

I just started getting your For Authors newsletter and I've, like, been so busy that I, like, just couldn't get around to, like, reading it until today.

I've obviously been missing out!

This newsletter is a delight. GREAT JOB! I'm glad, too, to know I'm not the only one who's tempted to take a Sharpie to all those mis-apostrophed (apostrophied? inappropriately apostrophic??) words! Those drive me nuts, too.

Thanks for creating such a great newsletter.

-- Daryl

faithjourney writes:

You aren't a freak. Spelling and gramatical errors drive me crazy too. Between being a writer and my "day job" as a Program Assistant, I've been slammed down (hey, slang!)countless times for minor errors, so my mercy for others is severely limited. I suppose spellcheck and grammercheck are our saving graces - when they work right.

Imo NSIDIBE writes:

Your discourse on slang is queit educative.Do you think there is a way slangs could be completely remove from literary writings?I do not think so, to me, it do add spice to some writings.

amber_grosjean writes:

Hello, I would like to make an announcement of my lifelong dream of becoming a published author has come true. I have been writing for 20 years and I recently published my first book. It is called Cursed Blood. A dream motivated the story. I never thought it would be published but it was! Now I need to get my other books published. I'm just very excited. Thanks!!

Amber Rigby Grosjean

Wow! Congratulations, Amber. Be sure to plug it at http://www.writing.com/main/authors/action/in_print - we like to support our Writing.com authors!

dogfreek21 writes:

Great NL, Jessiebelle!

My dad tells my friends and me to, "don't say butt, don't say like, and don't state the obvious."]

My friend says, "But, I'm like, a girl!"

The word "like" incorrectly annoys my dad so much... I thought it soooo funny when you mentioned that because of what comes to mind.

Red Writing Hood <3 writes:

Excellent editorial, as always!

spazmom writes:

What a great newsletter. I agree wholeheartedly. I tend to use slang as I'm writing, then I'll go back and take it out because most of my work I don't want to be dated. I have to laugh though, one of the new slang words is 'snap'. I just have to shake my head...

kuchanna writes:

Hi,

You refreshed my memory. All those rules of grammer one struggled with in school but forgot and those slightly familiar yet were flouted carelessly are striking back! Thanks for the amusing style. Enjoyble read.--Kuchanna

monty31802 writes:

I like the price on tomatoes, no matter how you spell it.

Delightful Newsletter.

scribbler writes:

I am a lover of slang! Well, not in my writing of course but speaking in slang is what I do best. My friends and I have adopted the habit of shortforming all words. Obv. = obviously for example.

Bernie Thomas writes:

It's vs. its. I don't know why I have so much trouble with such a small word: "it's" being a conjunction, and "its" being possessive or plural (I counted fifteen its in a paragraph.) OK, that's a stretch.

I was so annoyed that I couldn't seem to get it right every time, I devised a little test. If "it" had an "s" on the end, I changed it to "it is," (just in my brain, of course).

To use your example above: "It is a shame that the car lost it is shine when...."

Its pretty simple.

charlesthec writes:

Great issue, Jessie. The information on slang was quite good and useful.

dusktildawn writes:

Like that was totally an awesome Newsletter, Jesseibelle.

My daughter speaks this way too, and I just cringe. I clear my throat whenever she's uses it, and she gets angry (go figure)! Worse yet, she's twenty-five years old.

I loved the humor in this Newsletter, and hope that you don't end up buying your son a new bike (that's a lot of quarters).

SonofDrogo writes:

How 'bout - "whole-nuther?" Drives me crazy.

I just used “whole ‘nuther” for effect yesterday – even debated whether to spell it ‘nother (as in “another”) or ‘nuther (as in how it sounds). But notice the deliberate word choice; I suspect it’s only a pet peeve when you think the writer’s dead serious and doesn’t know better. That’s a whole ‘nuther kettle o’ fish, ain’t it?

⭐Princette♥PengthuluWrites writes:

You're not the only one who wants to correct signs--sometimes I have to be physically restrained! Great newsletter...you know, I made up the word "prettiful"? (Of course, I'm pretty sure so did a lot of other people, but still...)

Carol McKenzie writes:

I always enjoy reading your newsletter. You always have interesting topics to discuss. Thanks Jessie!!!!

Carol McKenzie

Questions? Comments? Write them in the little box below, and click the button to send them in. We editors love feedback. And good luck with the contest!