This question always comes up. My quirky, weird preference would be to write in an anechoic chamber, a room so utterly devoid of sound that the only thing you hear is your ears popping -- not because there's a pressure change, but because your ears are just that bored. Every parent should have one of these built into the master suite.

Lately, I've been taking guitar lessons. To say that I've been "learning to play guitar" would be grossly overstating the case. My instructor is, I suspect, an alcoholic. He's also a brilliant and talented musician. We start off tuning our instruments and talking about the scales I was supposed to practice, and quickly digress into a discussion of flamenco style, "perfect" fifths, liturgical music, twelve-bar blues, tonic, gin and tonic, subdominant and dominant (sounds pretty risqué, doesn't it?) – pretty much anything but the basics (like "What notes are the strings tuned to, again?" and "I put my fingers where, exactly, to make that chord?") that I so desperately need, or the homey, country western pieces he looks and sounds like he ought to be playing. No, he prefers flamenco and classical. I told him I'd come to my lesson Saturday, but only if he bakes me a birthday cake. I suggested a rum cake. I think I'm getting a small bottle of bourbon, instead. It's J's way of trying to make me forget all about the cake, since I said buying it from Kroger's wouldn't count.

Lately, I've been intrigued with the idea of learning to make videos. Why? I have no idea. Screenwriting and video scripting are the most unnatural forms of writing I've ever attempted, and my hat's off to anyone who does it well. But YouTube is democratizing entertainment and video production; I daresay a few amateur clips I've seen are every bit as entertaining as some of the dreck coming out of Hollyweird these days. Comedy thrives there. It was around 3:00 AM on Friday or Saturday (it's all a haze, now) that I got the notion of using YouTube for revenge and then felt inspired to start making my own videos (someone stop me before I hurt or humiliate myself beyond repair). A colleague of mine, some months ago, introduced me to “The Llama Song." For those of you not familiar with "The Llama Song," otherwise known as "The NEW 'Duck, Duck, Goose' Song" or "The Orange Slayed the Rake" or the "What the Hell Was in That Cold Medicine, Anyway?" song, here it is – along with my revenge:

I wrote to K. and said, "I hope the 'Misheard Numa Numa Lyrics' gets stuck in your head and goes round and round and round and round in there like a dried bean in a centrifuge." Unfortunately, it's a double-edged sword. The third video is an amazingly well-done merge of the same song set to clips from Naruto. I threw that in there for my son. We – er, he, and, um – yeah, well, we like to watch that on Saturday nights.

It could be argued that these next videos are “educational”…but I’m in no mood to argue with anyone. That's so—so 6:00 PM. Let’s just say that my ten year old insisted that I include the one with “Fullmetal Alchemist” and he now knows about half the periodic table of the elements. Thank you, Tom Lehrer – and all the oddballs and goofballs of YouTube. I've told W. that when he memorizes the song, I'll make a video of him singing it and upload it to YouTube. For now, this is all you get – he can't even say ytterbium.

There is a point to all this. I'm going to challenge you all to do one of the following and send me a link (there's a nice prize involved for one lucky participant):

 Write a short, humorous screenplay (to last not more than five or ten minutes; extra points awarded for turning it into an actual video);

 Write the script for a funny commercial (the product can be real or entirely fictional; if real, make it a parody of an existing ad; extra points awarded for creating the video);

 Write a song parody and perform it or make a slideshow/animated short/video out of it (like the misheard lyrics version of the New Numa song);

Feel free to do this as an individual or team effort. 100,000 GPs to the BEST entry (will be awarded to the member submitting the entry – that member will be responsible for dividing the gift points among contributors). Must be rated 18+ or lower.

werden writes:

Great signs
Especially the water on road sign
:)
I have to share that at work

riomay_angel writes:

**..That was really funny... but touching too... because you and weasly become friends...***

Weasly? That would've been a good nickname for him!

Tehanu writes:

Ooh, ouch! Those are horrific finger pictures, Jessiebelle! Yet - I can't look away...

The quotes and road sign pictures made me chuckle - thanks for another amusing NL!

Do not tempt me to take pictures of my eyes crossed. You know, I can make one look up while the other looks down?

Lobelia is truly blessed writes:

Thanks for highlighting my marriage haikus. Ain't it a hoot?

SamLBInj The Biker Poet writes:

Hey Jessie! Thanks for the feature! Really appreciate it! All of the features are really good! The signs are a riot! Thanks for writing such an awesome newsletter!

Sam

lizco252 writes:

Great newsletter, Jessiebelle! However, the pictures of "The Hand" kind of freaked me out! Eeewww!!! Thank you for your Editor's Picks! I discovered some hysterical writers who lent a guffaw -- or twenty!

Bravo!
AutumnWytch

Katya the Poet writes:

The finger story made me laugh AND cry!! Loved the road signs! Thanks for gentle humor, truth, and a nice array of comic items by the folks here at WDC.

darkin writes:

LOL, I used to have a calcium deposit attached to a tendon in my hand...and could move it when I flexed my finger. You would have thought I was a god among the boys in my class!

Great newsletter, Jessiebelle
Darkin