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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/11691-The-Joy-of-Nothing.html
Comedy: December 07, 2022 Issue [#11691]




 This week: The Joy of Nothing
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
         —Milton Berle

I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.
         —Ellen Griswold

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.
         —Gary Allan


Word from our sponsor



Letter from the editor

Nothing makes me happy in December.

None of the usual December activities do it for me. I see people stringing up lights, and if that makes them happy, great; to me, it's too much work for a temporary display.

I despise shopping. Going out to stores that are crowded and blasting inane music just triggers my rage, triply so if it happens to be (shudder) sn*wing.

The very idea of dressing my car up to look like a reindeer repels me.

Traveling? Forget it. No matter how pleasant the destination, the journey is hell.

I never was a big fan of trees and trimmings, and that just got reinforced as I just found out that a guy I knew in high school keeled over and died while decorating a tree in his house. Why take the chance?

As for cooking, well, I do that anyway. I rarely do seasonal-themed dishes, though.

I have too much stuff already to actually enjoy receiving gifts, and trying to decide what to buy for the few people close to me is stressful (I do it anyway—online, of course).

I know other people derive some sort of pleasure from all of the above, and that's fine; I'm not knocking it if it works for you. And yet, all I hear about is how stressed out people get in December, only to finally relax for one day late in the month. I suppose it's a bit like banging your head against the wall because it feels so good when you quit.

Me? I'd rather skip the banging my head against the wall part and go straight to the stopping part.

Really, it's best for me if I simply don't acknowledge that anything's any different. Other than that it's cold and dark and all I want to do is sleep until March.

So every December, I don't do anything out of the ordinary. When it comes to seasonal activities, I do nothing.

And that makes me happy.


Editor's Picks

Some December laughs, seasonal or not:

 
Image Protector
North Pole Proper Open in new Window. [E]
Pray tell, WHY GO HERE???
by JayNaNoOhNo Author Icon


Image Protector
The Zombie Diner Open in new Window. [18+]
There's a new restaurant in town ... if you dare. A Writer's Cramp Winner
by 🌕 HuntersMoon Author Icon


 
Image Protector
Panic In The Ballroom Open in new Window. [E]
The ballroom has some surprise visitors.
by Teargen Author Icon


 The Doctor Open in new Window. [E]
Limerick about a doctor and a nurse.
by BlueJay Author Icon


 I'm Positive Open in new Window. [E]
It helps to do things right!
by QueenNormaJean maybesnow?! Author Icon


 Eternity Is A Long Time Open in new Window. [13+]
An unusual woman and an unusual "person" have an unusual encounter. For the Dialogue 500.
by NaNoKit Author Icon


 Midwife Open in new Window. [E]
Story written for The Writers Cramp based on a prompt of Lost Keys.
by Selardore Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Don't forget to support our sponsor!

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Ask & Answer

Last time, in "That Old StandardOpen in new Window., I complained about clock changes.

Aiva Raine Author Icon: Absolutely loved the quote by Robertson Davies that you included. I highly agree. Also- I agree with you- enough of the DST BS. Pick a time and stick with it. I look forward to the day when I no longer have to follow a time schedule, although I must confess- currently my work has a much more flexible schedule than I've had in the past and no more commuting. Thanks for the chuckles.

         Thanks! Yeah, work from home has been a boon to a lot of people, though not middle managers. But who cares about them?


GeminiGem🐾 Author Icon: If you live with dogs, you automatically hate the twice yearly time changes. Dogs have internal clocks that are set by routine. The quick shift of an hour makes them edgy. They are sure they will starve to death or become sleep deprived if their routines are upset and they aren't shy in letting you know their displeasure. It takes a couple of weeks to adjust, just to do it all over again in the spring.

         Fortunately, I live with cats. Oh, wait, they don't like clock changes either.


So that's it for me for December. See you next year! Until then,

LAUGH ON!!!



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