This week: Cheese Edited by: Waltz Invictus More Newsletters By This Editor
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The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
—Gilbert K. Chesterton
How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?
—Charles de Gaulle
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
—Bertolt Brecht |
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Today, I'm going to talk about that most wonderful and versatile of all foods: cheese.
Clifton Fadiman once proclaimed that cheese is "milk's leap toward immortality," which is ironic because that quote is the only thing I know about Clifton Fadiman other than that he existed. So it was his cheese moment, the one thing he's remembered for. By me, anyway, which is all that matters.
From mild to sharp, soft to solid, and young to old, sheep, goat, or cow, there is more variety in cheese than in most other foods. While it might have been invented to make milk last longer before spoiling (one could argue that cheese is inherently spoiled, but I would ignore one), it turned out that even many people who are lactose intolerant could digest cheese, bringing a renewable source of protein to the great masses of humanity.
Except for vegans, of course, but who cares?
This glorious food can accompany almost anything. Having a fruit salad for breakfast? Add a few chunks of cheese. Lunch? Throw some cheese on that sandwich. Dinner? Smother it in cheese; it can only be improved. Need a quick snack? Cheese. Need something to accompany that fine wine, craft beer, fancy cocktail? Grab some cheese. Celebrating a holiday? Have some cheese.
If I were a worse person, I'd point out that we even have a holiday in December celebrating the birth of Cheeses, but of course I would never say such a terrible pun out loud.
Yes, cheese is indeed a marvel of human ingenuity and perseverance. Cheese is the answer. Cheese is life.
And of course, when all else fails when coming up with an idea for a Comedy newsletter editorial, there's always cheesy jokes. |
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Last time, in "Fool Me Once" , I talked about April Fools' Day pranks.
dragonwoman : I'm with you, no April Fool's jokes on me, anybody else is fair game tho.
People have told me that this idea is hypocritical. I don't understand why. It's really quite self-consistent.
And that's it for me for April! See you next month. Until then,
LAUGH ON!!!
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