This week: When Nature Calls, Maintenance Knocks! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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I know I can't be the only one who gets interrupted in the public restroom. Yes, folks, as much as this subject matter can be uncomfortable, it is life, and nature's call must be answered. |
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Hello folks! Welcome to another addition of The Comedy Newsletter. Spring is just around the corner, but it seems like summer most of the time in Florida. Being a snowbird keeps me protected from the snow and sleet . It keeps me warm and comfy and active throughout those frosty months. My New England home quietly sleeps amid the wind, sleet, and snow, as winter reaches for a final chilling grasp upon March.  Wow, that was almost poetic!  However, this is all about comedy and how inconvenient a convenience can be.
I've had several run-ins with maintenance workers, or otherwise misdirected males trying to find a quiet place to complete a phone call at a rest stop facility and then realizes he has walked into the ladies' room, not the other partition in the hall that leads to the men's. Not that I can completely say I am innocent of using a men's room while traveling, or, at a concert or in pub while stopping for a bite and adult beverage. Ladies' rooms usually have long lines, the guys' rooms, not the case. Now, my earlier days of misbehaving and jumping the long line to get into the 2-person line wait at the men's room door has come back to haunt me.
Jump, or fly, forward  
Last week I was at the pool. So were many others. It was a gorgeous, sunshiny, day. I enjoy doing exercise in the pool, but all that water and all that jumping around sent the signal that it was time to use the rest room. I toweled off, threw on a cover-up and fobbed myself into the clubhouse toward the restroom. The door was wedged open, which means it's being cleaned. I look inside and it's empty, so I removed the wedge from the door and closed it. I thought nothing of it because everything was cleaned, and I figured maintenance forgot, yet again to take the wedge out of the door after completing the task. It wouldn't be the first time. I've gone back to the clubhouse in the evening and found the door wedged open more than once after hours. Our head maintenance man has a helper, who has been given the duty to care for the doody room.
I went into a stall and wriggled and wiggled my wet bathing suit down. (Not a fun or easy task when wearing a maillot-type suit.) Finally, I set in for the target and let nature take its course. A moment later, I started to re-wriggle myself back into the suit when the outer door flies open and a guy walks in, and starts singing the song to the Broadway hit, West Side story's "When You're a Jet." He was moving his feet along with the sound of his voice, hitting notes that can only be attained from bouncing off bathroom walls. However, there's also an unmistakable sound that can't be ignored, a toilet flushing! Suddenly, "Tony" stops his crooning and asks, "Anybody here?" 
The minute I said "occupied," I heard him grab some tools and a bucket that he set down while doing his little song and dance routine, and vamoose, out the door. I decided it was safe to leave my stall and wash my hands in peace. When I left the restroom, I looked at the guilty party. He was sitting on a poolroom chair near the hall where the rest room is located. Then my witchiness kicked in ...
"Were you just in the ladies' room without knocking first and announcing 'maintenance?"
"Yes, oh, I'm so sorry, I thought nobody would be in there since I wedged the door open."
"Did you also notice the door was closed when you returned? Doors don't shut themselves when there's a wedge pushed in so tight I struggled to get it loose in my flipflops."
He apologized again, but I was not letting it go. After all, nobody should be having that much fun in a restroom while I'm in the stall! Plus, even with the acoustics, I couldn't sing like Tony, the Jet. I warned him that when a door is wedged opened, if it's closed when you return, it's a fairly good sign it's being occupied. Knock and announce! There could have been one of the many elderly ladies using that room, who would have called management once they regained their composure.
Then "Tony" got his voice back.
"Just know that if the door is wedged open it means it's being cleaned or repaired.'
"Yes, conceivably, but do you clean bathrooms at 7:00 p.m.? Because I've seen that door still wedged open after working hours. YOU forget to take the wedge out. I figured you forgot, again. But, at least I called inside and asked if anyone was working in the stalls."
I went back to the pool and warned some of the ladies to be sure to check the restroom for maintenance personal, in case he was fixing the leak that was down the far end, where the handicap stall was. They were thankful for the heads-up, since they stated they would feel violated if a man walked in while they were attending to business. I'm such a sweet and helpful witch. 
On my way home from the clubhouse, I saw the head maintenance guy and told him about the issues with ladies' room maintenance. Also, it should not be done during peak pool hours, and the unisex, one-throne-room, wouldn't work if several women needed to use the rest room at the same time.
"So it was YOU!!! He came running to me to confess his lack of sensibility in assuming the bathroom was vacant. I reminded him on the need to knock and call out before ever entering the ladies' room. I told him that he could never unsee it if there were an elderly lady changing out of her suit with the stall door partially open."
 I wonder if he experienced that personally?
He started laughing. We've known this man for years and always joke around with him. He's a great guy and hard worker.
"Of course it was me! Which other lady, here, would get right in the face of the guy who sang and danced his way into the bathroom while she was in the stall? They'd have been too embarrassed and would have left ASAP, and reported him to the manager. "
I'd rather call him out myself and leave management out of it. After all, I wouldn't want him to lose his job. He's actually a pretty good singer.
And on that note ... 
It's a wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often, and sing like you were alone in the bathroom!
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Some good old Cupid Slam Poetry!
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"Is You?"
Check out The Bard's Hall for March, Sci-Fi, Month. If there is humor, it may end up being highlighted here. |
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Some responses to my last Newsletter: "Comedy Newsletter (February 16, 2022)"
Richard ~ Merry, Merry 
We went to the drive-ins often as a family. I remember being dressed in my pajamas, I was the baby of the crowd by more than 10 years, so it was expected that I'd fall asleep before the movie ended. I do remember one movie, "The Longest Day", which was pretty long. At the time it was in my wheelhouse. What really sticks in my mind though, was the fact that I had to wake the whole family up when it was time to go. Too bad I couldn't reach the pedals to just drive us home!
Bob 
under 12 cost two bits
Starling 
In my younger days, we are talking early 1960's, I remember going to the movies on Saturday mornings. For 50 cents you got to see 5 cartoons and two feature-length movies, plus a free candy bar and soda from the counter, with every ticket. Popcorn was 10 cents extra.
dennis23468
Yar. Good old days (lol) not that I'm so old but yeah
Patrick
Theatres had velvety cushioned Seats,
They raffled off twenty two's...,
The rugs were thick, an had a little sort of thrust as you walked on
them ,
It pushed us down the tunnel of romance,
It was in the appointed season of youth,
"won.. won,, wonderfull,"
but, ol Scooby waited in the
wings.....
mournfully whisprin,
"Ruh Roh!..
roor rittle Rools"
Thanks for all of your feedback, folks!
See you next month.
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Comedy: March 16, 2022 Issue [#11259]
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