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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/11063-Leaf-Me-Alone.html
Comedy: November 10, 2021 Issue [#11063]




 This week: Leaf Me Alone
  Edited by: Waltz Invictus Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Autumn is grey rainy afternoons, and fond memories of raking up leaves into tidy neat piles, just to jump in a spread them around again.
         —Jason Soroski

I wrote an essay about leaf blowers and the evil they do.
         —Julie Newmar


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

Autumn is in full swing here in central Virginia. We've had our first freeze (albeit a brief one in some forsaken early morning hour), holiday decorations are up everywhere (to be fair, those started in approximately March), and while most of the leaves are still green, the ones that aren't have commenced the activity that gives the season its American name: Fall.

I like to sit out on my deck to write. I live in a part of a city that has a kind of suburban feel, with many neighbors in shouting distance, and during the summer I'm treated to one of the great annoyances of life: lawnmowing.

It wouldn't be quite so bad if they'd pick a time to do it. But no. One neighbor mows their lawn. And then, just after the blessed relief of the mower's cessation, another one starts up. Then, when that one's done, it's time for the next. All day, every day, except when it's raining, in which case I'm not out on the deck, am I? It's not like they all use the same lawn service, either; most of them are out there by themselves, shirtless, pushing a two-cycle gas engine with spinning blades. A loud two-cycle engine.

Fall so far has been relatively mild, but I thought at least I'd start to get some quiet around here. But no... no, I don't get that lucky. In the fall, the neighbors all trade their lawnmowers for that diabolic destroyer of suburban peace, the leafblower.

And they keep to the same schedule. I'll hear one going off behind the house, and when that stops, the next-door neighbor will start up, and after that, the one diagonally across the street, and then the one a few doors down.

When all the leaves are finally cleared into little piles on the street (the city eventually comes with a giant vacuum truck to suck them up into oblivion, another source of noise), it'll be time for snowblower season.

I think there's about a twenty-minute window in early March when there's no snow or leaves or grass, and the neighborhood is finally silent.

Me? I just had my deck rebuilt, so I've been conscientious about clearing it of leaves. This time of year, though, by the time I sweep (using a nice, quiet broom) the last bit of tree detritus off the deck, I turn around and there's a three-inch carpet of new fallen leaves on the first half.

So, I give up. This week, I bought a leaf- and snow-blower. I'll try to only use it when none of the neighbors are using theirs.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.


Editor's Picks

Some fall funnies. Or, you know, spring funnies if you're in the wrong hemisphere:

 An Answer to "Larger Than Life" Open in new Window. [18+]
A bad poem in response to another bad poem. Very bad.
by Katya the Poet Author Icon


 
Image Protector
Dressed for Success Open in new Window. [ASR]
Will Jodi's surreal first day at work after graduation prove disastrous as well?
by winklett Author Icon


 No Call? Open in new Window. [E]
Poem for the Cramp with prompt "Why didn't you call?"
by IdaLin Author Icon


 Ode to a Preschooler Open in new Window. [E]
If you have a four year old, you'll recognize this one...
by Lobelia is truly blessed Author Icon


A Minicourse in Intercourse Open in new Window. [13+]
A little father-son chat that makes a point about word usage
by Smiling Jack Author Icon


 
Image Protector
The Effrontery of Frogs Open in new Window. [E]
Some bold frogs.
by Teargen Author Icon


Image Protector
Techno-Crap Open in new Window. [13+]
Thoughts on technology and progress. A Senior Center Forum Entry
by πŸŒ– HuntersMoon Author Icon


The Long Lonely Voyage Open in new Window. [13+]
Written for the Out Of This World Poetry Contest
by W.D.Wilcox Author Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Don't forget to support our sponsor!

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Ask & Answer

Last time, in "October FunniesOpen in new Window., I shared a bunch of (arguably) funny October-themed images.

Quick-Quill Author Icon: I was just watching The Movies that Made Us Horror. What used to scare me made me laugh. I love the Geico commercial with the kids coming out if the corn field and one says β€œlet’s get into the running car.” The next girl says β€œNo, hid in the garage behind the chainsaws.” I laugh every time I watch it

         Yep, humor can take the edge off horror. That's not always what you want, but I think the two genres are more closely linked than most people want to know.

And that's it for me for November! See you next month. Until then,

LAUGH ON!!!



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