\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4813542
Review #4813542
Viewing a review of:
 The Guard Open in new Window. [13+]
A story based on the crucifixion.
by Thomas Seeker Author Icon
Credit this reviewer
#4813542
Review of The Guard  Open in new Window.
Review by ruwth Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

May God bless both of us as we grow as writers together!


♡ HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.♡



Thomas Seeker,

You have written an interesting story about a guard who was involved in the crucifixion of Jesus.

As we walk along with this guard as he performs his duties, we have a glimpse into his feelings.

Your story follows the Biblical version fairly well except that Jesus only told ONE of the thieves he would see him in paradise. The second thief spoke disrespectfully to Jesus.

I found myself wondering about your story of Barabbas--was your soldier's recollection based on facts or did you create this version of his back-story? It in interesting either way.

You do have a typo or error here or there. I will put them in a drop-note for you:

Things to Fix ▼

There may be other missing commas or small things. Read through your story and see if you catch some I missed.

The way the soldier pierces Jesus's side out of mercy is food for thought. The soldier then losing his own life is sad.

You have done well weaving your story with the Biblical version. *Heart*


♡ HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY ♡



You have been reviewed by a member of
the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4813542