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Review #4812297
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Motherhood Open in new Window. [ASR]
A glimpse... perhaps not the one most people see.
by Sarah Rae Author Icon
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#4812297
Review of Motherhood  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

I can see how the prompt inspired this story. I remember those ‘obstacles’ very well and overcoming them seemed impossible at the time. When you’re that tired, it’s hard to think straight and function normally. Adding to the strain, this young mother also had a toddler to take care of (again, something I’m familiar with). It required being in two places at once to make sure that both get the attention they needed and deserved. Then there was the husband, and you didn’t say if he pulled his weight but since he was going out to work, at least he wasn’t expected to do the night shifts. And the house – well, it got done when she found time and energy, which was never. The mother herself came last, and her own needs became unimportant. It gets better, and if you wrote this from personal experience, you know that by now because this is not a new story, but at the time, you’d give anything for an uninterrupted night.

The mother’s emotions came across very well in this tale. Like you said, not many people get to see her like this, and despite the tears, she handled it very well, even found a smile for her toddler. There were lots of little details that brought the story to life and made it easy to imagine the scene, for example when the Tiny feet kicked away the covers as her infant son began to wake .


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written and I only noticed two potential errors:

She shouldn't wake him, not with a ten hour shift waiting for him in the morning.
Still smiling, she bent to rescue the marker stained baby doll from the floor
In both cases, I would recommend hyphenating the compound adjectives, ‘ten-hour shift’ and ‘marker-stained baby doll’.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I have to admit that I don’t miss those days, but I vividly remember them. When people tell you that you’re going to be tired, you have no concept of what that actually means, and no one who hasn’t been in that situation fully understands it. You captured it perfectly and readers who know will feel for the mother while at the same time being impressed by how well she was doing, even if it didn’t feel like that to her. A good story!




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