%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4811423 |
 | Class Trip to Planetoid Wignut  [E] Students take a class trip to a planetoid, and find an adventure they didn't expect  |
| (5.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: Quite an exciting story! The young people were looking forward to the trip but didn’t pay much attention to the instructions. To be fair, kids tend not to do that, and if they think there might be adventure involved, they’re bound to run off, whether it’s on a faraway planet or on Earth. Here, first they nearly came to harm themselves but managed to get out of the situation with a bit of ingenuity. Then they also put their teachers in danger, but again, they figured out a way to resolve the communication problem. It seemed like they were bright kids who were able to think straight under pressure - they just weren’t any good at doing what they were told! I found the idea of the knowledge chips very interesting. I’m pretty sure that someone like Elon Musk is working on that as we speak, but more importantly, I loved the description: These chips will enable us to know everything we could ever imagine knowing about. and the thought what would happen if they malfunction, the panic if they found that a device they relied so heavily upon was no longer going to help them. It reminded me of my mobile phone running out of charge at an airport once, with my boarding pass on it. Or even a more mundane situation when we simply want to Google something and can’t connect to the internet. We rely far too much on those little devices, and to me it sounded like you anticipated this was going to happen even back in 2006 when you wrote this story.  Suggestions: I noticed a few small errors: Watch out for tense changes. The story was written in past tense but every so often, you slipped into present tense. clenched her think red curls I think that was meant to say, “thick red curls”. the unconscious teachers eyelids You missed the apostrophe in “teacher’s”. the person will typically will be in an unconscious state “will typically be” or “typically will be” - you have the word “will” twice there. Skyler ordered to us. I think the “to” shouldn’t be there, but I would also consider omitting “us”. A simple, “Skyler ordered” would probably flow better.  Final Thoughts: The thrill the main characters felt first at the thought of and later on the field trip came across very well, and I could imagine them jumping around with excitement. They all had quite different personalities and I could hear them in the dialogue and the way they reacted to the difficulties they encountered. This was a fun story, and although I’m not usually a fan of sci-fi, I enjoyed the read!   A Review from: "Invalid Item" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/15/2025 @ 8:13pm EDT