Hi, Derg,

Because you answered to Horror NL's question, as "My poems are so bad that they are all scary!" I had to come see how bad/scary your poetry could be.

Here's my two cents on it.
First: Don't ever put yourself or any of your writing down! Please!

Plus, this little poem seems to be a charming children's poem. In its favor, it underscores and subverts traditional fairy tale expectations. Here we don't have the typically negative relationship between any princess and dragon. This, in fact, is a sweet friendship tale.

On top of it, it follows a simple rhyming pattern aa/bb/cc/dd/ee/ff. It has what I thought has couplets throughout. If you would give a space between every two rhyming lines, it would read better and be more appealing visually.

Its sing-song quality has got to appeal to the much younger set. Then, your playfulness with the word "derg" sets a lighthearted tone.

All those activities, finding treats, eating together, swimming, etc., reinforce the friendship theme, with the ending emphasizing loyalty and closeness between friends.

If I may make a suggestion or two, you might consider adding a bit more specific details about the dragon, to help your readers to visualize it more clearly. Then, maybe, you could explore more unique activities the pair can do together. In addition, how about, a poem for each activity? I can see in my mind's eye, a children's poetry book, born through this poem, in the future, probably titled as, The Derg and the Princess

I really think this is an endearing poem with a positive message about friendship and breaking stereotypes for children.

And your poetry is fine. You only should work on it just as tad.

Best wishes with all your work.









My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .