Hello Weirdone-Back in the games,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


First Impression:

That was a very original take on the prompt! You took it quite literally and wrote about the devil’s tail - not something I had expected, but it worked. After the narrator ran through all the stereotypes about the devil and being disappointed that none of them were true, there was finally one that was. The punchline of the joke was delivered well, and you ended the story without giving the devil the chance to respond. I assume it would have been an eyeroll or something similar - he seemed like a pretty chill guy and his responses indicated that he wasn’t easily offended.

The interview structure worked well for this tale, although I felt you might have missed a trick early on when you said that how the narrator got to interview the devil was a complicated story unto itself. I bet it would have been a fun story as well, and since you didn’t use the whole word limit (not even close) it might have been interesting to add those details. They didn’t have anything to do with the joke itself but they might have helped fill in some of the background and make it easier for the readers to relate to the narrator.

The dialogue flowed very naturally, but because the story was written mainly in dialogue, there was little room for descriptions. Maybe a few more dialogue tags to tell the readers about facial expressions and gestures might be useful to fill in some of the blanks.


Suggestions:

The story was well written but I spotted a few small errors:

one dark night last summer, i was seated
“I” should be capitalised.

instead of despairing like their supposed to
You need “they’re”, short for “they are”.

I guess on of the things
Just a typo, “one of the things”.


Final Thoughts:

The story was fun to read and I bet it was fun to write as well. The part with the Satan/Santa anagram was my favourite (I actually wrote a story once about Satan disguised as Santa so this appealed to me). I think it could use that backstory how the narrator managed to get the interview in the first place - Satan was impatient at the beginning so there was definitely a story there! - but even without it, this was a good read.