Hello, Mursal,

Here is a review for your "Shattered in your absence 💔 " .

Comments and Observations:

Such a deeply emotional piece, you have here. I especially zeroed in on the striking images of flight, nature, and celestial bodies, as if they offered a sense of longing and despair.

Then, in lines like, ""I’ll cry to the moon, and shar e my pain with it." and "Tomorrow, I will bloom in death," the heartbreak and sorrow surface, showing vulnerability.

I also noticed that strong ending, which starts with, "Without you, my life..." Its impact is almost devastating and it made me fearful for its poet's welfare.

As for your consideration, maybe, adjusting line breaks and/or more varied word choices could create a smoother flow. In addition, the repetition of "ruined," in "ruined, utterly ruined" sort of startled me. While that repetition is also effective, I am now wondering if another phrase could add more power to its emotional impact, but this is your choice, as always.

At the end, I think your poem is raw and authentic, plus heartfelt and sad, and it captures grief and longing quite effectively.

Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

I didn't catch any problems in this area. Except, I didn't get the meaning of the "Your poem beautifully expresses deep emotions, struggles with love, pain, and the search for meaning in life," at the end of the poem. Is this poem yours? Or is this statement from another review?

Best wishes with your work.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .