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 Review #4803088 |
 | Calling Mom  [E] Just a different method  |
| (5.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  Hello, Fyn - 20 WDC years old, aka Fyndorian! INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:  I enjoyed reading your "Calling Mom" poem every time I read it, including today. Your writing kept my attention, and pulled at my heart strings, and I read all the way through to the end of your poem.MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:  Happy Writing.Com Anniversary day and month! I read this "Calling Mom" poem of yours sometime in the past and enjoyed it, but didn't have time to review it right then, so I flagged it for an anniversary review (meaning I saved the link to it in a special "February" file.  ). I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging. I loved your poem so much. As someone who also misses her Mom, I found it highly relatable. I think anyone who has lost a dear-to-heart loved one would also be able to relate to it easily. It's no surprise that you rocked the free-verse poetry form with this gem of a poem. You are an excellent poet. My favorite line was the last one, because it made me smile and feel really happy for you. It was a lovely way to conclude the poem too! I wondered if you'd entered this "Calling Mom" poem in any contests here? I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes in your "Calling Mom" poem poem. I thought the family, emotional, and biographical genres you selected for this poem were perfectly appropriate matches for it.IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER: In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a the new BEAR Fund reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section. To be honest, I wouldn't have suggested any changes if it weren't for this challenge, but there was one thing that made me stop reading and wonder if it was intentional or a mistake, so I'll talk about that. Again, if you want to hear it, great, if not, no worries, just skip on down to the next section. Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!   The best thing I can think of to improve this poem would be to put the "and since yesterday." line in parentheses. When I first read it, it seemed illogical, and caused me to stop reading and think about what you must have meant, then I realized that you meant, even though it was twenty years ago, sometimes it still feels like yesterday. Maybe putting it in parentheses (or probably you have a much better idea! Definitely do that, if you do), could help people distinguish? If you wanted to make the change, the line would then look like this:"(and since yesterday)." As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't. CONCLUSION:  I enjoyed reading your "Calling Mom" poem, and totally empathized with your sentiments that you expressed in it. Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community! Once again, happy anniversary day and month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during your anniversary month, and always! PWheeler   A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review!   Positive Hearts  A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group"  The B.E.A.R. Fund   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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