Hello Ned ,

The site's Read & Review function brought me here today.

I appreciate that you used the intro line to explain the type of poetry you're presenting. As a casual reader, I'm not going to count the syllables, but I trust that they are correct the way you presented them.

For Genres, you chose "Nature" and "Contest Entry." To be honest, I don't know why "Contest Entry" is even available as a Genre, but that's a discussion for another day. Since most people who want to read poetry about a certain topic aren't going to go search through the "Contest Entry" Genre, I suggest that you change that and instead add two more descriptive Genres. I can see "Animal" and "Death" or "Dark" to fit this poem.

I was right there in the action with the prey and the predator. I once saw a hawk swoop down and come back up holding a rabbit in its talons. This memory made reading your poem come to life doubly for me. Once the images your words created and those that came back from within me.

Nature is beautiful and scary. I felt terrible for the rabbit, but the hawk deserved to feed itself and its brood also. Same for the bird in your poem.

One little editing issue caught my eye:

yet grass rustles- the hunter’s head forgot a space before the dash after rustles.

So few words, such powerful visuals. Keep writing!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .