%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4800256 |
 | A Perilous Journey  [13+] A dangerous journey begins  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: Poor Frederick! Not only was his end rather gruesome, but when his body was found, he was declared ‘gross and disgusting’. It became clear quite quickly that Frederick wasn’t human, but you left the readers guessing what he actually was until the end. My money would have been on a rat or a mouse, perhaps because I’ve never heard of a spider trap. (Why would anyone want to kill spiders, anyway? I don’t like them in the house, but they are useful so I always try to catch them and take them outside.) The descriptions were excellent, both of Frederick’s predicament, his hunger and desperation, and of the setting, the bodies of those who tried to get to the food before him and finally, the trap and its lethal effects. It was interesting that I could picture it all quite clearly but I couldn't figure out what kind of animals they were. I felt for Frederick and I wanted him to succeed, wanted him to be the one who got away when the others couldn’t, but the way the story was set up, with a rather bleak tone, I wasn’t holding my breath that he would make it.  Suggestions: The story was very well written and I only noticed a couple of small errors: His limbs, weak from hunger quivered in anticipation. I believe there should be a comma after “hunger” to set off the non-essential phrase. air which was expelled though matching lips Just a type, “through”.  Final Thoughts: I feel a bit silly asking this but I couldn’t figure out what the part of the word was that Frederick could read, CHMAST. I feel like I should get it, but I don’t. This was a different kind of horror story and you used the scary elements well to make the readers feel uneasy. Especially the part at the end, when Frederick was caught in the trap and was slowly dying, was quite horrific, and the descriptions were almost too vivid. It was made even worse at the end when it turned out that Frederick was unlikely to be the last to perish in this way. A great story that made me feel bad for a spider!    A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 02/20/2025 @ 9:52pm EST