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Review #4799259
Viewing a review of:
 Go Fly A Kite Open in new Window. [ASR]
The sweetest words she could have heard
by THANKFUL SONALI Love my family Author Icon
Review of Go Fly A Kite  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Greetings, Sonali!

I'm here yet again for I Write 2025 - isn't this fun *BigSmile*

I love how you showcase a unique cultural holiday here, describing a kite flying festival I've never heard of before, complete with the native vocabulary. The element of playful belligerence is fascinating; no one gets hurt when a kite is slashed from its string! Though the thought of kids cutting their hands on the glass powder makes me cringe *Yikes*

The images are so vivid; I can picture the little scruffy kids in the street running gleefully to collect the pretty kites as they fall from the sky, sent up from homes of better-off people. It sounds like something from Charles Dickens; a spot of beauty in a grubby orphan's life, something they can own for themselves.

Perhaps you should bring the focus in on the main character sooner, as she bustles around helping her family send off kites and prepare food. Her brother in law could even invite her to join and she declines out of fear. This would help with the old adage of "show, don't tell" as Sarla becomes a part of the action, and we do as well, building a connection with her as she experiences the festival.

Also, a touch of more sensory detail here and there might be helpful to engage us in the environment: the scent and taste of the sumptuous Indian foods, for example. When Chandrakant takes his snack break, what's he eating exactly?

This was a wonderful, enjoyable read which taught me something new.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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