%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4798597 |
 | The Road Least Traveled  [13+] Treasure rarely comes without a price  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I think ‘horror’ should have been one of the genres for this story! That was a scary tale, and it was quite unexpected. Sure, the two friends were talking about a curse and Bigfoot guarding the treasure, but the story was quite lighthearted and I fully expected there to be a humorous outcome of their expedition. When they heard the noise of something tapping on the side of the tent, I thought it would be tree branches in the wind, and they would wind each other up until they were terrified only to discover it was nothing. But that’s not what happened. It wasn’t Bigfoot either who, by comparison, might have been a more preferable opponent. The being you described here sounded terrifying, and it was no wonder they ran away screaming. The description of the creature was one thing, but what got me even more was the noises it made - that strange laughter and the giggle were quite chilling. You didn’t say how old they were, and at first I thought they were children but later on, they sounded older. I pitched them at young adult age because they were quite prepared with their map and tent, but they were young enough to be lured into this adventure by a mythical treasure.  Suggestions: I noticed a few small errors: 996 wrods Just a typo, “words”. The tent starting shaking I think that was meant to say “started”. a faint odor of rancid putrified flesh I believe the correct spelling is “putrefied”.  Final Thoughts: The story ended rather abruptly, and I don’t know if that means it wasn’t finished or if you meant to leave the ending open. You didn’t say which contest this was written for - it might have been the Cliffhanger contest, in which case, you did a great job building the tension and then leaving the readers to guess how it ended. Mathias’ fate was unclear; the last we saw, or rather, heard of him was a horrified scream. He might have gone over the cliff as well, or the creature might have got him (although he might have been the one calling his friend’s name). Phillip ended up in a rather unenviable position as well, first dangling over the cliff edge and then letting go to escape the creature. But the readers never found out what happened to either of them. It’s a good sign that I wanted to know the ending because I felt quite invested in the characters by the end and was hoping for a happy ending for them. A good story!    A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.