Hello, Solace.Bring!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "I’m in Charge of the Chickens" poem tonight and thought it was really nice of you to help out your landlord neighbors with their fowl.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

I found your poem in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum today, reviewed by someone else that I respect. I love the idea of farm life, so your title drew me in and I clicked and read your poem and enjoyed it greatly, so I decided to give you a review as a little anniversary gift. Happiest anniversary wishes to you and best wishes on your writing future too!

Your poem felt fun, friendly, and lighthearted. It was a joy to read on this chilly evening. You literally made me smile.

I thought your rhyming was great and added to the friendly, fun, and lively feel of your poem.

My favorite line was the refrain: "Cause I’m in charge of the chickens" because it worked well as a refrain and lent a song-like quality to your poem.

I didn't notice any spelling in your "A Note of Thanks" poem.

I loved that you are friends with your landlords. It has to be great to have a nice relationship with them, especially as they are also your neighbors.

I thought the comedy, friendship, and relationship genres you selected for this poem were appropriate matches for it.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

I think it would be good if you added a comma after "well" in this line:
"Well summer is vacation time."
I paused reading at that point, so it feels like it needs one. I imagined a farmer telling a story and she or he would pause there too, at least in my experience with farming friends.

If you like entering contests, I think this would be a good fit to consider entering in Lornda's funny poem contest (I forget the exact name of it... her user name is memories).

The "other" genre isn't likely to net you more future readers, as I don't think anyone searches for that. I'd recommend choosing a different genre, and really three, as we are allowed three, and people do search by genre here. Perhaps "food," "cooking," "garden," "personal," or "experience might be nice options? There's a drop down list, as you know, because you had to use it to select other. I don't have it memorized; those are just some suggestions. The actual list will probably be more helpful.

It's always nice for me as a reader to have the form and line count listed below the poem, perhaps in a "notes" section. I don't know how long it took me to start doing that, but once I did, readers responded favorably. So I'd recommend adding that information beneath your poem.

As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:

I enjoyed reading your "I’m in Charge of the Chickens" poem, and it lightened and brightened my evening. Thank you for the entertainment and smile.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during your anniversary month, and always!

PWheeler











Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




The B.E.A.R. Fund


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .