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 Review #4793326 |
 | In the darkness  [18+] A tale of a lost love that spanned decades, only to be found again.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: This was a very poignant story, not least because it wasn’t clear what had happened to Declan. He ‘vanished’, and at first I thought that meant that he had left her, but on second read it seemed more that he had died. The words you used hinted as much, like the ghost of his presence lingering in the air. Having said that, there was a line later on where Her heart ached for answers, for closure, but all she had were questions that echoed in the emptiness, which made it sound like he had left her, without a note or a goodbye, so I’m not sure. It was interesting to look for clues though, and either way, she was alone and heartbroken. There were some lovely descriptions that drew me into the story straight away, like the sound of the waves or the tapestry of family life. It was easy to imagine her grief and her state of mind. The readers got to know her quite well, and while Declan was a bit of a mystery, the main character was very clear and well drawn.  Suggestions: I noticed a couple of small errors: memories played in in her head You have a duplicate word in that sentence, “in”. her tears were a silent river This was the beginning of the sentence so “Her” should begin with a capital letter. I liked how you used different senses in this story, the sounds of the waves and the silence, and vivid images of him laughing, the touch of his hands and the feeling of his embrace, and the cold she felt now. I think it would have been easy to weave smell into it as well, like the scent of his aftershave which still lingered, or something like that. I believe it would work quite well with the others. Just an idea   Final Thoughts: The recurring image of the waves was nicely done to lead up to the ending that left the readers with a bit of hope, the thought that her pain might one day ebb away. It's a very good story that conveys her emotions well, and despite the sadness that came across, I enjoyed the read.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You last responded to this review 01/05/2025 @ 10:22am EST