%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4792953 |
 | Robert  [E] As a young boy's short life comes to an end, he believes he is in fact a robot...  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I’ll start at the end and say that I was impressed with the way you got around the issue of the narrator dying at the end of a story that was written in past tense. The paragraph that began with ”So my final hours have drawn near” sorts out the problem very neatly, putting the tale actually into present tense and the rest were memories. It was nicely done. The story itself was intriguing and the first paragraph (especially the last sentence) was a good hook to keep the readers interested. It is set in the future where robots are commonplace, and the boy has found enough similarities between himself and the robots to conclude that he must be one of them. In his mind, this explains why he is different from other people, and the idea has become what he clings to while others around him try to help him. It also makes the end more bearable for him.  Suggestions: The story was well written and I only noticed one small typo: calling my a freak “me” And I’m passing on some advice I have received recently, which is regarding semicolons. You used five in this story, and while they were grammatically correct, their use was quite noticeable. I was told that they should be used sparingly if at all, and it is usually preferable to reword the sentences to use a comma or a period or some other form of punctuation instead.  Final Thoughts: As the story was written from the boy’s point of view, the readers don’t get to see much in the way of emotion. By default, he is not very emotional, and he can’t understand other people’s feelings so all we know about his mother is that she cries a lot. It fits the character very well, and the readers can fill in the blanks from the way he describes what he sees, even if he doesn’t understand it. It was well done and it created a well-rounded character, even without the emotions (or perhaps, in part, because of it). A good story!  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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