Hello, The Paper Moon, aka ponder-upon!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "Moon" poem today.

Your writing kept me interested and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary day and month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

You wrote a lovely, yet somewhat dark, free-verse poem about experiences under the full moon.

The first two thirds or so were really relatable to me and felt beautiful and light. The last third felt darkly emotional and heavy.

My favorite part was the lighter part, but I'm kind of a light-hearted, happy person, so this is to be expected, in my view.

I thought this poem would make a great entry to the Dark Poetry and / or Shadows and Light free verse poetry contests here, if you were inclined to enter one or both and they're both still running. Shadows and Light was still running earlier this month, but I haven't noticed an advertisement for the Dark Poetry contest in a while.

I didn't notice any spelling mistakes in your "Moon" poem.

I thought the personal and nature genres you selected were appropriate for this "Moon" poem of yours.



IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

Most of your first letters of your first lines were capitalized, but four weren't, and that made me stop reading to check and see what was going on. It might provide a smoother experience for future readers if either all the lines were capitalized or just a capitalized first word / sentence structure was used consistently throughout the poem. Especially, these two lines stood out, because to me, they seemed like part of the same sentence that started the line before, and one of them was capitalized and one was not. I'll paste all three lines so you can see what I mean:

"My feet glide
to a cool dark place
To shed pure light."

So in those lines, I'd either capitalize both uses of "to" or not capitalize both. But having one done one way, and one the other feels off to me.

That said, as with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:
I enjoyed reading your "Moon" poem earlier today and again just before this review, and again during the review today.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary day and month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler










Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .