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Review #4791622
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Esme's Gift Open in new Window. [13+]
Melvin, the elf, muses on what could have been in Winterwood
by iKïyå§ama Author Icon
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#4791622
Review of Esme's Gift  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey iKïyå§ama Author Icon
Having done this task as well, I was curious to see what you'd come up with! *Smile*

I'll review as I go along.
The title, brief description and cover pic work well. The layout is clear and very readable even for someone with weak eyes!

The first word had me hooked. *Thumbsup*

It took me a second to understand that 'felt' referred to the noun and not the verb - I thought he touched his green hat to start with.

As I read about Esme passing the audition, I immediately saluted you as a writer for showing it to us from the point of view of another elf. That makes it very poignant. Nice image of him 'wallowing' in the flour bags.

He's friends with the mouse! *Rolling*

Chairs shaped like *CandyCaneP*! *Starstruck*

I like the bit about how much magic to use (or not use).

You use 'tail end' twice in quick succession, maybe change one of those ... ? I love the way you've left the actual words to the reader's imagination! *Thumbsup*

I want to know if he got the job!! *Shock2* Did he?
Please add that to your note at the end! *Smile* I'm docking half-a-star for that, by the way. *Pthb*

Thanks for sharing!
Happy Festive Season and lots of *Suitheart*
- Sonali

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/23/2024 @ 10:53am EST
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