This was an entertaining, fun read. I like the fact that what happens to Eric is motivated by the actions of Mellisa, rather than just random happenstance. That really helped bring the whole story together.

The changes that Eric undergoes seem to occur out of nowhere and very suddenly with Eric basically just accepting things (with only a little complaining) at every new development. To the extent you're interested in expanding the piece, I think a slower lead-in with more confusion and reticence would help round out the piece a bit.

Overall, this was a fun read and you've got a solid foundation already. Well Nice job!