\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4774022
Review #4774022
Viewing a review of:
 Alone Open in new Window. [E]
This is a fictional account of a person who has detached himself from society.
by cheshire Author Icon
Review of Alone  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Cheshire!

A sad narrative poem creating a character who has abandoned humanity in an effort to protect themselves from the pain and sorrow we all must suffer. This hurts because it feels like me in a way... I withdraw myself from people, I avoid connecting too deeply, and I waver between feeling numb and feeling far too much.

You set up the situation gradually, beginning with little things which seem at first almost like a good idea, implying the person is choosing to avoid watching the news and getting all upset over what they cannot change.

It quickly begins to imply a deeper and more disturbing detachment from reality, one which reminds me of something I looked into... *Googles quickly*... "Sovereign Citizens," they're called... It's probably irrelevant here. Anyway, the declarations of disregard for others and the sacrifices that have gone before are getting alarming.

By the end, the facade slips, and we see the flashes of suppressed pain as the person begins to admit how much they need help as they insist more strongly and specifically that they don't. The concluding words bring it all home: they are lonely, and no amount of barricading themselves and insisting they don't need anyone else will soothe their emptiness.

This is haunting, with repetition and structure which carries the theme well without the triteness of rhyme. I would recommend adding a third genre, as I see you have duplicates. "Dark" or "Psychological" would be appropriate here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4774022