Hello, Shadowcaster!

INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

You wrote a beautiful love poem to the Lord.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy 20th Writing.Com Anniversary month and day! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting.

How wonderful that you were able to know and love the Lord so early in life, "in the garden of childhood ... long before men think I understand."

I also love the Lord and enjoy reading poetic tributes to Him so your poem was a delight for me to read. Only He can fill our hearts so completely with pure love.

My favorite line was: "They wake me up to tell me not to go out." Well said. I hated that you went through that all night long, but your writing about it was done well.

Your poem reminds me of the Psalm where the writer desires the Lord "as a deer panteth after water." It's a deep desire that only His love can fulfil.

I hope you are staying strong in your faith and will pray a prayer for blessing upon you and your family.

I thought the religious and relationship genres you selected were perfect for this faith-filled poem of yours. If you wanted to add a third genre, I think spiritual would work nicely.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
In the spirit of helpfulness, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your lovely poem and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

I know some poets (me included, for certain poems) choose to not use any punctuation. That's totally cool. However, because you used a colon in the first line of the last stanza of this poem, that means there was some punctuation used in this poem, and I think it would help the last line of the poem to be more clear for future readers, to have some punctuation in it too. What I'd suggest is adding a comma after the second "you" in this sentence (the last line of the poem):
"You are my Love you are my Lord."

It's a little thing, but I think it would make a big difference.

If you decided go go ahead and make the change, the line would look like this: "You are my Love, you are my Lord."



CONCLUSION:
I enjoyed reading your religious relationship poem, and seeing the Lord through your eyes of faith.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, faith, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler












Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 



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